HOME | DD
BeeZeroOne — Broken
Published: 2010-06-06 12:04:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 244; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 3
Redirect to original
Description
That's not right. No, not right at all.I could have sworn that was right, but it isn't.
Just delete a few things here, shift things around there…
Still not right! What's wrong with it?
That's not it, nor is this, or that, or that.
But something's wrong.
I think.
What do you think?
Come on, you can see it as plainly as I can, and I'm sure you can see what it is.
Well?
No, not that.
Don't lie to me!
Really?
That's exactly what you think?
but
I
thought
that
was
the
only
thing
right
with
it...
maybe
everything's
just
falling
apart
and
I
don't
know
how
to
fix
it
so
can
you
help
me
because
I
don't
know.
And neither do you, if I'm thinking right
because
nothing
is
right.
No.
Nothing.
Nothing's wrong.
Except for everything.
I don't even know why I'm telling you all this.
I mean, it's not like you know.
Is it?
You're just
you.
And I'm just me.
But I made this, all this, for you, and you can't even see what's wrong
with
it.
Well, I guess that's settled then.
Neither of us know.
How about that?
Hmm?
But...
something's
still
broken.
Is it just me?
Am
I
Just
B
r
o
k
e
n
Or
Is
Everything?
Related content
Comments: 5
Wow. Very good. And the broken lines as well. Reminded me of Alice in Wonderland, with the Mouse's Tail poem. But thats probably just because we studied it in English so I have Alice in Wonderland on the brain.
Anyway- great
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks Claire
I was just randomly typing in an attempt to shake off the bad taste of that pretty poor flash fiction I recently wrote, and the idea resurged in my mind for messing with the physical structure of the lines. I'm planning on writing a flash fic at some point that does a similar thing, with the words forming a path that matches the narrative
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That sounds very interesting
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thanks!
Although dA messed up the broken form, indents and spaces...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0