Comments: 22
Ithildae [2011-07-03 05:48:37 +0000 UTC]
Critique: don't use grass brushes! paint it yourself grass brushes just look like ... grass brushes, ugh. If you do the grass yourself then you'll actually learn how to do it (you DON'T have to draw every strand). I advise avoiding shortcuts like that in your art if you actively want to improve.
Story: She's incredibly lucky she didn't get hurt! I said in my other comment that you've done well with the story; my eyes normally glaze over at stories for pictures, but I found yours interesting and readable. I do suggest you should be sure you don't make being dragged by a horse sound too much like "lol I got pulled through mud" considering how you can get really serious injuries and amputations from wrapping a horse's leadrope around you - and people die after being dragged. I can't believe she wasn't stepped on! Hopefully she'll have better luck next time... can I suggest food bribes, or selling the horse on to a rich sucker?
Picture: I'll just point out a few things. Overall you've got a nice sense of movement and action! In terms of anatomy, the eye is off -it needs to be just a little bigger and rounder (remember the ball of a horse's eye actually sticks out from their face). The bottom half of his face is bent sideways too much, perspective-wise - like his nose is more front on but the top of his head is more in profile. Looks like she's actually bent his face from pulling I think actually all you might have to do to fix that is to move his nostril down and it would straighten the face right out.
His hooves are a little large, and have another look at the foreleg closest us - could do with being a bit thinner, it's kinda sausage-y atm.
the halter and leadrope look awesome @-@ and the back legs look good
Protip: don't use thin lines inside his body to describe muscles. I know lots of people do it (same with grass brushes) but that doesn't mean it's good. Thing is, horses DON'T have thin little lines on their bodies! If you use lines to show the sharpest shadows from muscles and want to actually pull it off, you would have to know EXACTLY where the muscles go and EXACTLY where ALL of the bulges and bumps are on a horse's body. If you put the lines in the wrong places, as you have here, all it does is shout from the rooftops that you don't know that shit.
Watch your shading and highlights - when you're showing muscles and bumps on a horse the same principle that go for lines: don't just stick random stuff in if you don't know where it goes. You've given him three big dents down his side that just aren't right. The first on his ribs just shouldn't be there at all, that whole area is his rib cage and is convex (look at a skeleton). The second is too large and high up, and should be a gradual inward curve anyway not a hole. The third is too big (and bear in mind not all horses go inward on their rumps there).
So anyway! I know this was a metric ton of crit but I'm only bothering to give it to you because I can see that you've got clear talent and creativity You've made a good start and an interesting stable - keep going!
hope that helps!
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Imprisoned-Acres In reply to Ithildae [2011-07-03 06:39:21 +0000 UTC]
Thank you thank you thank you. This is the best critique I have ever received. and I know I did a bad with the grass brushes. I am still terrible at backgrounds, but that is a good point I will never learn if I don't try.
As for the story line, don't worry, I do know the dangers, but *spoiler* that is for tomorrow's picture. I know all too well the dangers of it. I will actually go back after I type this though, and put in the image comments something about that though. I guess I never really thought of someone thinking that as a joke in real life though my story portrayed it. I am also going to fix his nose, and eye, though it is slightly closed to give him an irritated look. XD I know it is cartoonish.
As for the lines in the body, I never really thought of that, when I make my sketches I just go whilly nilly all over the place with my muscle lines. >.< I think I am going to go study and take more detailed pictures of my horses for reference, and try and add more detail to my shading so I can remove them all together.
XD and you hit my weakness with the ribcage because if I don't add anything then it just looks like a big empty space, and it bothers me terribly, so I just scribble something on there.
Thank you so much for all those pointers, along with some pictures I am going to take tomorrow, this critique is going to help me fix some of my problems. And I am going to make a story change to better emphasize the dangers of getting caught in a rope. Sorry if I missed replying to anything. XD honestly I read the whole thing three times already, and then in bits to make this response.
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Ithildae In reply to SilverBB [2011-07-05 05:30:03 +0000 UTC]
Ouch, nasty!
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rose-angle [2011-07-03 02:38:22 +0000 UTC]
Ouch! that looks like it hurt.
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