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Description
...yes those are snow flakes, yeah they have a more elegant structure but they just look like white dots to me when it snows in winter. There's quite a few mistakes in this too, which pains me, given I can't really go back to fix them in my current medium. It's of Daryse seeing snowflakes fall from the sky for the first time in her life(since there's no snow in Morrowind), presumably in or around the city of Bruma in Cyrodiil.

So today is not only Daryse's canon birthday of the 29th of Midyear but it's also older brother's birthday on the 29th of June who took his own life on the 20th of October, 2014. For the past nine years since, both months have been marked with strong feelings of grief but this June has been especially rough for me since now I'm same the age that my brother was when he died. I have been going quiet a lot this year so far it seems, from burnouts on my creative passions with the explosion of certain deep-learning generation programs on the tail end of last year/into the new year, fever in May, various potential mental issues swelling to a boiling point that I cannot ignore anymore, and now intense grief. I do apologize for lack of posts or more negative posts lately and not engaging much if at all with what others post when I normally would've last year. I also thank from the bottom of my heart for those who're willing to deal with me venting and being over-dramatic while chatting with me on discord. I have been seeking help, although the potential therapists I've called either have no openings for new patients nor have returned any messages yet. It's discouraging, to be honest. Though I know nothing's really going to get done, for the better, if I don't go looking for the help I need. It's just very difficult with my thoughts and worries running wild, leaving me rather frozen in-place, then to not bear fruit when I do summon the courage and energy. It's hard to not entertain the question: "Why even try anymore?"

If you've gotten through that block of text, then first: I apologize again, but I also thank you. I know it may feel required to say something insightful if someone comes to you venting about whatever shit they may be dealing with and be afraid to say the wrong thing that may make it worse for them. But often times, people like that just want to be seen and heard, to have ears that're willing to listen and that's often enough for them. If you feel concerned for someone who has been quiet or off the radar for a while, just give a "Hey" or an "Are you alright?" It goes a long way.

This year so far, I've realized a lot about myself, a lot of it scary and especially so when I don't fully understand my own troubles. I miss my older brother, a lot, sometimes I still can't believe he's gone. Hopefully I can finally find a therapist who can help shed light on what I'm dealing it and how I can deal with it better.

Description
...yes those are snow flakes, yeah they have a more elegant structure but they just look like white dots to me when it snows in winter. There's quite a few mistakes in this too, which pains me, given I can't really go back to fix them in my current medium. It's of Daryse seeing snowflakes fall from the sky for the first time in her life(since there's no snow in Morrowind), presumably in or around the city of Bruma in Cyrodiil.

So today is not only Daryse's canon birthday of the 29th of Midyear but it's also older brother's birthday on the 29th of June who took his own life on the 20th of October, 2014. For the past nine years since, both months have been marked with strong feelings of grief but this June has been especially rough for me since now I'm same the age that my brother was when he died. I have been going quiet a lot this year so far it seems, from burnouts on my creative passions with the explosion of certain deep-learning generation programs on the tail end of last year/into the new year, fever in May, various potential mental issues swelling to a boiling point that I cannot ignore anymore, and now intense grief. I do apologize for lack of posts or more negative posts lately and not engaging much if at all with what others post when I normally would've last year. I also thank from the bottom of my heart for those who're willing to deal with me venting and being over-dramatic while chatting with me on discord. I have been seeking help, although the potential therapists I've called either have no openings for new patients nor have returned any messages yet. It's discouraging, to be honest. Though I know nothing's really going to get done, for the better, if I don't go looking for the help I need. It's just very difficult with my thoughts and worries running wild, leaving me rather frozen in-place, then to not bear fruit when I do summon the courage and energy. It's hard to not entertain the question: "Why even try anymore?"

If you've gotten through that block of text, then first: I apologize again, but I also thank you. I know it may feel required to say something insightful if someone comes to you venting about whatever shit they may be dealing with and be afraid to say the wrong thing that may make it worse for them. But often times, people like that just want to be seen and heard, to have ears that're willing to listen and that's often enough for them. If you feel concerned for someone who has been quiet or off the radar for a while, just give a "Hey" or an "Are you alright?" It goes a long way.

This year so far, I've realized a lot about myself, a lot of it scary and especially so when I don't fully understand my own troubles. I miss my older brother, a lot, sometimes I still can't believe he's gone. Hopefully I can finally find a therapist who can help shed light on what I'm dealing it and how I can deal with it better.