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SpokenMind93 — Past Sins: Treachery P12
Published: 2016-01-12 23:20:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 16605; Favourites: 188; Downloads: 0
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PLEASE DON'T SPOIL THE STORY!Consider supporting me on Patreon
For all to read!
Past Sins and Nyx (c)
MLPFIM (c) Hasbro,
In honor of because he made a very awesome fancomic after the facts of this story
but he sadly left DA or changed his account
And it looks like the pieces from last week just broke too...
<<Prelude
<<Chapter 1
<<Chapter 2
<<Chapter 3
<<Chapter 4
<<Chapter 5
<<Chapter 6
<<Chapter 7
<<Chapter 8
<<Chapter 9
<<Previous - Next >>
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Comments: 183
If only this timeline took place after Twilight became and alicorn...
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This is the same timeline but Past Sins takes place between Season 2 and 3
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oh, I had no idea there was such limitations.
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it's an emotional hammer, shattering my heart into billions of small pieces.
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i CAN FEEL my heart breaking in pieces. Piece after piece ;-;
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You said it buddy !
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This is about when I opened fire with a M78 AIA, killed three guards, injured three more.
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I would not allow this to happen, in fact I would have shifted into the Rage form and draged the chariot down with brute force
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Very sad. One thing though. Can't Twilight teleport? Am I missing something here?
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She was trying to focus on the chariot to teleport her but she was disturbed by the rock she hit.
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So it is kind of like Dragon Ball Z's "instant transmission" where you have to have unbroken concentration?
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Right, I remember that. But it just sort of seems like Pen Stroke, as good an author as he is, reduced Twilight's abilities in order to fit the story.
You did a really fine job with all the intense emotions in this chapter by the way.
Last year, or maybe it was the year before last, I attempted to head a fan-project movie trilogy of Past Sins, and got a number of scenes written down, as well as a few people interested in the project (some made story-boards to go with the script, another recorded herself as Nyx). Eventually I realized that such a massive undertaking would eat up too much of our life. Everyone understood, but I was still a bit sorry to let them down like that.
If you should have any interest in looking at the scenes I have written down (I think there are some from each eventual YouTube movie) just send a note with the subject: 'Past Sins Archive'
to my public email woodsstories@gmail.com
The film does not follow the exact form of the book, and there is added content and/or scenes that are switched around. I know you asked people not to spoil the story, but if you have any questions about how I intended to have things play out in the movie version, I will try to recall.
Cheers
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I'm just guessing here but she may not be able to think rationally at this point, she forgot about her locator spell when she needed to find her books, here...
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That is a good point. People don't always think when they're panicking. Fantastic argument
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I'm not going lie, when I read that last part, I immediately thought of this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBtP10…
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I've read the book. I knew what this page and the last were going to be. I know what's going to happen.
But darned if that doesn't stop me from tearing up and getting the same powerful feels as when I read the book.
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I've actually heard that watching/reading/playing something the second time through tends to be the best. I have also read the story. Hell, I own a hard copy (my precious!), but I've only read it once. this is kinda like my second time through it... AND I'M LOVING IT!
Saturn, keep up the great work!
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Congratulations, Twilight! You're a mother!
Too bad "Social Services" had to take your daughter away from you.
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But do you even know what you're trying to protect her from?
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NNNNYYYYXXXXX!!!! D': NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Alpha: Twilight. Why did I listen to Flash Fire when he said watching the past a second time helps heal the wounds left by it!
Me: great job. Though I'm starting to think I should take Alpha out of her before he burst into tears.
Alpha: Now wait just a second! I maybe extremely emotionally upset seeing the Prime Nyxian reality and relive all of the pain that my wife and step daughter went through, but I'm sticking with it until the end!
Me: Okay, okay you don't have to bite my head off.
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That last part...I'm not gonna cry. I'm...not...gonna...
*grabs tissue* Okay. I'm good...mostly. The feels levels have skyrocketed.
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Gotta say you do a great job at capturing the emotions the characters and telling the story of Past Sins.
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I'm doing my best at expressing the emotions.
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Wow, this is just heart wrenching 
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This is exactly as I imagined it in my head. Well done, the emotions were expressed very well.
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very impressive. You really nailed it with the expressions. However there were more thoughts going through Twilight's mind that you cut out.
I'm just worried that later on you'll exclude important details that tell important details. Like when they use the elements.
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I used facial expressions to express those thoughts. She didn't even think those "no..."s on the end, that's what I added in.
And those thoughts going through her head in panel 2 conclude everything that was going through her mind.
And why would I exclude that part? It's in the story so it's not like I will suddenly think "oh this part is too stupid, let's just skip it"
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