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Description
In the dark of night a rented limo-carriage pulls up the the porch of the Apple family farmhouse. A still body is dropped onto the doorstep with an unceremonious thump. A shadow flicked three small rocks at an upstairs window and climbed back into the carriage. A shadow moved to the window only to catch a glimpse of the carriage speeding away into the night.

Diamond Tiara attempted to open her eyes, only to be met by the glare of an offensive sun. She quickly rolled onto her side away from the window. She blinked again at the blurry shapes and patterns. Her headed pounded, but she made out a few vague shapes. The floors, walls, and ceiling were plain wooden boards. The furnishings and linens were clearly rustic and simple. Everything appeared to be covered in a motif of apples. The scent was dusty, yet pleasant, and strangely familiar. Somehow she had accidentally been booked into the ugliest inn in Equestria.

The pink filly began to drift back into restless slumber when she was interrupted by a distant slamming door and the rhythm of hooves tromping up a staircase. She pulled a pillow over her head and grunted in frustration. She was startled by the sound of the door opening and slamming shut. Somepony was in her hotel room! Diamond laid still and quiet, hoping the intruder would leave without trouble. Perhaps it was just a house-keeper that was as poorly trained as the room was poorly decorated. Her blue eyes peeked out under the pillow, but, despite the groggy blur, the sight was still shocking.

Across the room was a large pair of overalls in a heap on the floor. More importantly, was a long pair of yellow legs stepping into a pair of blue cotton shorts that quickly covered a pair of pink panties dotted with pictures of... apples? Apples!

“You!”, Diamond shouted, sitting up quickly in the bed and tossing the pillow on the floor. Her aching head immediately protested and she toppled back down onto the bed.

AB: “Well, look who's still alive. And finally awake, even!”

DT: “Where am I!?! What are you doing in my room? Why does my head hurt so much? You hit me again, didn't you? Just wait until father hears about this!”

AB: “Well, you ain't dead, fer one. Yer welcome for that, by the way. And yer in MY bed, in MY room, in MY house. And no, I didn't hurt you – y'all did that yerself.”

DT: “Don't lie to me! Oh, no – oh, no, no, no! I've seen this movie – you knocked me out and foal-napped me! You've chained me to your bed so that you can have your wicked way with my tender body.”

Apple Bloom just sighed, lowered her head, and rubbed her temples.

AB: “Look, there ain't no chains, the doors ain't even locked, and half the town knows you're over here. And, if I may quote our local Princess: next time skip the movie and read a book instead.”

At this point Diamond Tiara looked around and had to admit to herself that she wasn't actually restrained. Of course, she wouldn't be defeated by simple logic. Instead, she changed her strategy. Diamond narrowed her eyes and demanded in her finest mock-rage:

DT: “WHY am I in your bed? What did you DO?”

AB: “Do we really have to do this now? Fine.”

Apple Bloom crossed her arms and stared out the window. She was well aware that no good deed goes unpunished – especially with this particular filly – but she knew it was the right thing to do.

DT: “Choose your words carefully, farmer. Anything you say can and will be used against you.”

AB: “Yer so-called 'friends' dumped you on our porch and woke me up at two-o'clock this morning. You looked and smelled like death; I almost called the bat-ponies to take you to the mortuary, but I noticed that you were breathin'. I washed you up, burned your clothes, and put you into bed.”

Diamond sat for a moment, trying to slowly process the words against the throbbing in the back of her head. She grabbed at her shirt and looked down, realizing for the first time that she was swallowed by a pajama shirt and pants that were three sizes too big and dotted with apples. (They smelled really good, though, but that was beside the point.)

DT: “You DESTROYED my clothes?!? … You saw me NAKED?!? … You TOUCHED me when I was naked and asleep?!?”

“Ugh. Don't remind me”, Apple Bloom complained as she held her stomach. “I've got to see Princess Luna to erase that memory so I don't have nightmares.”

DT: “HEY! Do you know what other ponies would give to see my beautiful body? You should be thanking me for the privilege... before I have you arrested for assault, of course.”

A tense silence hung in the air, right on cue, but Bloom knew this game too well and wasn't going to be baited.

AB: “Anyway... you had obviously partied too hard last night. You were seriously filthy, and I say that as someone who shovels out barns every day.”

DT: “I'll have you know that I smell like fresh...”

Apple Bloom placed her hand over Diamond Tiara's muzzle and sat down on the side of the bed.

AB: “Can we please argue later? I'm really tired.”

Diamond gently grabbed Bloom's hand from her mouth and pulled it away... holding on just a little longer than necessary.

DT: “The sun is shining; how can you be tired? … What time is it, anyway?”

AB: “It's about half past noon. I've been up since four o'clock doing farm work – same as every summer day – and it's time for a nap. Y'all already cost me an hour of sleep last night.”

Bloom knew what came next: the tirade about how manual labor was the burden of the lower class, etc. But Diamond just sat there silent. Maybe it was the hangover, but she let this one go, for once.

AB: “You smelled like Berry Punch and Tree Hugger, mixed with sweat, vomit, and other things that I don't even want to imagine.”

DT: “...”

AB: “Your dress was ripped and stained with a stench worse than your fur. Your high heels were broken. Your panties were...” *urp* “let's just say that I almost called a priestess to do an exorcism.”

DT: “So my clothes were a little dirty and you BURNED them? Don't you have washboards or something here?”

AB: “Do you know what would happen if my room smelled like alcohol, green smoke, and stallion... musk? Granny would give me one of her 'there's a time and place for everything, dear... and that's when you're not under my roof' talks. Big Mac would give me one of his really long lectures. And AJ wouldn't say nothin'. Do you know how she gets when she won't say nothin'? Ah had to clean you up and get rid of the clothes so the smell didn't ME get in trouble.”

Another silence... but this one wasn't tense, just sad. Diamond's head sagged.

DT: “... And you said everypony already knows?”

AB: “They know what Ah TOLD THEM, at least.”

DT: “Well played, farmer. You did just what I would have done if the roles had been reversed.”

More silence; for the first time ever, Diamond may have actually felt defeated.

AB: “Ah sent Winona to your house with a letter to your parents. She's been there before, so she knew the way.”

DT: “Oh, the disgrace! My fate sealed by a DOG of all things. Checkmate, Bloom.”

AB: “Ah told them that you stopped by the farm after you went dancin' because your other friends wanted to throw you a birthday party. We had fun and lost track of time, so all of the girls just spent the night here at the farm. We were real sorry that we didn't tell them earlier.”

DT: “You... LIED for me?”

AB: “Yeah, I lied for you. I know you do it every day, but it's a big deal here at Sweet Apple Acres. My sister's the Element of Honesty, after all. We Apples don't cross that line unless it's to save somepony from something real bad.”

DT: “You lied... for ME?”

AB: “Look, I know we ain't friends or nothin', but I think you really need some help. You were really messed up last night. Friends or not, it's the right thing to do.”

“Thanks, Apple Bloom”, Diamond whispered without looking up at her savior.

“I'm sorry... I've got a bit of farm dirt in my ears; what was that?” Apple Bloom teased, clearly baiting Diamond and using Diamond's own insults about her farming heritage.

DT: “I... uh... I forgive you for what you... had to do.”

Apple Bloom, still staring out the window, grinned at her victory.

AB: “Now, move over. I'm exhausted and really need a nap.”

DT: “What?!? Move over? Get your own bed!”

AB: “This IS my bed. I slept on the floor in my sleeping bag last night after I put you to bed, and my back is aching something fierce.”

DT: “...”

Apple Bloom lifted the covers and slid underneath. Diamond Tiara wiggled away a bit to give her some room.

AB: “Don't worry: I sent Featherweight to dig up what you did last night. He's very thorough and discrete. We'll figure this all out after nap-time.”

DT: “...”

AB: “You know, I've been working hard all morning and you DID make me sleep on the floor. I wouldn't say not to a little back massage.”

DT: o_O

Description
In the dark of night a rented limo-carriage pulls up the the porch of the Apple family farmhouse. A still body is dropped onto the doorstep with an unceremonious thump. A shadow flicked three small rocks at an upstairs window and climbed back into the carriage. A shadow moved to the window only to catch a glimpse of the carriage speeding away into the night.

Diamond Tiara attempted to open her eyes, only to be met by the glare of an offensive sun. She quickly rolled onto her side away from the window. She blinked again at the blurry shapes and patterns. Her headed pounded, but she made out a few vague shapes. The floors, walls, and ceiling were plain wooden boards. The furnishings and linens were clearly rustic and simple. Everything appeared to be covered in a motif of apples. The scent was dusty, yet pleasant, and strangely familiar. Somehow she had accidentally been booked into the ugliest inn in Equestria.

The pink filly began to drift back into restless slumber when she was interrupted by a distant slamming door and the rhythm of hooves tromping up a staircase. She pulled a pillow over her head and grunted in frustration. She was startled by the sound of the door opening and slamming shut. Somepony was in her hotel room! Diamond laid still and quiet, hoping the intruder would leave without trouble. Perhaps it was just a house-keeper that was as poorly trained as the room was poorly decorated. Her blue eyes peeked out under the pillow, but, despite the groggy blur, the sight was still shocking.

Across the room was a large pair of overalls in a heap on the floor. More importantly, was a long pair of yellow legs stepping into a pair of blue cotton shorts that quickly covered a pair of pink panties dotted with pictures of... apples? Apples!

“You!”, Diamond shouted, sitting up quickly in the bed and tossing the pillow on the floor. Her aching head immediately protested and she toppled back down onto the bed.

AB: “Well, look who's still alive. And finally awake, even!”

DT: “Where am I!?! What are you doing in my room? Why does my head hurt so much? You hit me again, didn't you? Just wait until father hears about this!”

AB: “Well, you ain't dead, fer one. Yer welcome for that, by the way. And yer in MY bed, in MY room, in MY house. And no, I didn't hurt you – y'all did that yerself.”

DT: “Don't lie to me! Oh, no – oh, no, no, no! I've seen this movie – you knocked me out and foal-napped me! You've chained me to your bed so that you can have your wicked way with my tender body.”

Apple Bloom just sighed, lowered her head, and rubbed her temples.

AB: “Look, there ain't no chains, the doors ain't even locked, and half the town knows you're over here. And, if I may quote our local Princess: next time skip the movie and read a book instead.”

At this point Diamond Tiara looked around and had to admit to herself that she wasn't actually restrained. Of course, she wouldn't be defeated by simple logic. Instead, she changed her strategy. Diamond narrowed her eyes and demanded in her finest mock-rage:

DT: “WHY am I in your bed? What did you DO?”

AB: “Do we really have to do this now? Fine.”

Apple Bloom crossed her arms and stared out the window. She was well aware that no good deed goes unpunished – especially with this particular filly – but she knew it was the right thing to do.

DT: “Choose your words carefully, farmer. Anything you say can and will be used against you.”

AB: “Yer so-called 'friends' dumped you on our porch and woke me up at two-o'clock this morning. You looked and smelled like death; I almost called the bat-ponies to take you to the mortuary, but I noticed that you were breathin'. I washed you up, burned your clothes, and put you into bed.”

Diamond sat for a moment, trying to slowly process the words against the throbbing in the back of her head. She grabbed at her shirt and looked down, realizing for the first time that she was swallowed by a pajama shirt and pants that were three sizes too big and dotted with apples. (They smelled really good, though, but that was beside the point.)

DT: “You DESTROYED my clothes?!? … You saw me NAKED?!? … You TOUCHED me when I was naked and asleep?!?”

“Ugh. Don't remind me”, Apple Bloom complained as she held her stomach. “I've got to see Princess Luna to erase that memory so I don't have nightmares.”

DT: “HEY! Do you know what other ponies would give to see my beautiful body? You should be thanking me for the privilege... before I have you arrested for assault, of course.”

A tense silence hung in the air, right on cue, but Bloom knew this game too well and wasn't going to be baited.

AB: “Anyway... you had obviously partied too hard last night. You were seriously filthy, and I say that as someone who shovels out barns every day.”

DT: “I'll have you know that I smell like fresh...”

Apple Bloom placed her hand over Diamond Tiara's muzzle and sat down on the side of the bed.

AB: “Can we please argue later? I'm really tired.”

Diamond gently grabbed Bloom's hand from her mouth and pulled it away... holding on just a little longer than necessary.

DT: “The sun is shining; how can you be tired? … What time is it, anyway?”

AB: “It's about half past noon. I've been up since four o'clock doing farm work – same as every summer day – and it's time for a nap. Y'all already cost me an hour of sleep last night.”

Bloom knew what came next: the tirade about how manual labor was the burden of the lower class, etc. But Diamond just sat there silent. Maybe it was the hangover, but she let this one go, for once.

AB: “You smelled like Berry Punch and Tree Hugger, mixed with sweat, vomit, and other things that I don't even want to imagine.”

DT: “...”

AB: “Your dress was ripped and stained with a stench worse than your fur. Your high heels were broken. Your panties were...” *urp* “let's just say that I almost called a priestess to do an exorcism.”

DT: “So my clothes were a little dirty and you BURNED them? Don't you have washboards or something here?”

AB: “Do you know what would happen if my room smelled like alcohol, green smoke, and stallion... musk? Granny would give me one of her 'there's a time and place for everything, dear... and that's when you're not under my roof' talks. Big Mac would give me one of his really long lectures. And AJ wouldn't say nothin'. Do you know how she gets when she won't say nothin'? Ah had to clean you up and get rid of the clothes so the smell didn't ME get in trouble.”

Another silence... but this one wasn't tense, just sad. Diamond's head sagged.

DT: “... And you said everypony already knows?”

AB: “They know what Ah TOLD THEM, at least.”

DT: “Well played, farmer. You did just what I would have done if the roles had been reversed.”

More silence; for the first time ever, Diamond may have actually felt defeated.

AB: “Ah sent Winona to your house with a letter to your parents. She's been there before, so she knew the way.”

DT: “Oh, the disgrace! My fate sealed by a DOG of all things. Checkmate, Bloom.”

AB: “Ah told them that you stopped by the farm after you went dancin' because your other friends wanted to throw you a birthday party. We had fun and lost track of time, so all of the girls just spent the night here at the farm. We were real sorry that we didn't tell them earlier.”

DT: “You... LIED for me?”

AB: “Yeah, I lied for you. I know you do it every day, but it's a big deal here at Sweet Apple Acres. My sister's the Element of Honesty, after all. We Apples don't cross that line unless it's to save somepony from something real bad.”

DT: “You lied... for ME?”

AB: “Look, I know we ain't friends or nothin', but I think you really need some help. You were really messed up last night. Friends or not, it's the right thing to do.”

“Thanks, Apple Bloom”, Diamond whispered without looking up at her savior.

“I'm sorry... I've got a bit of farm dirt in my ears; what was that?” Apple Bloom teased, clearly baiting Diamond and using Diamond's own insults about her farming heritage.

DT: “I... uh... I forgive you for what you... had to do.”

Apple Bloom, still staring out the window, grinned at her victory.

AB: “Now, move over. I'm exhausted and really need a nap.”

DT: “What?!? Move over? Get your own bed!”

AB: “This IS my bed. I slept on the floor in my sleeping bag last night after I put you to bed, and my back is aching something fierce.”

DT: “...”

Apple Bloom lifted the covers and slid underneath. Diamond Tiara wiggled away a bit to give her some room.

AB: “Don't worry: I sent Featherweight to dig up what you did last night. He's very thorough and discrete. We'll figure this all out after nap-time.”

DT: “...”

AB: “You know, I've been working hard all morning and you DID make me sleep on the floor. I wouldn't say not to a little back massage.”

DT: o_O