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shaunC — That One Time I Stole...
Published: 2010-05-04 08:51:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 801; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 17
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I'm a cunt...My contribution to Blackguard #3. The theme was crime, and it had to be one paged stories. I did try to have a crack on summing Richard Kilklinski's Life in one page, but that was too much .
(Richard Kilklinski was a mafia hitman who was responsible for over 200 killings, and they've wrote a book about him called 'The Ice Man'. Great crime reading)
So I just did myself, stealing for the last time. Hopefully Max Black will print it...
Just another pathetic crime...
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Comments: 10
...you did the right thing, my conscious still bothers my from stuff I did when I was a kid
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Hilarious! The one time I tried to steal something, I was in the third grade or something in elementary school. A buddy talked me into skipping choir practice and walking down to a nearby store to steal some cigarettes. He told me to lean up against the display and then casually palm a pack and walk calmly out. I tried but couldn't do it, I was so scared. So he did it!!! But instead of walking out calmly, he ran out of the store. A lady outside saw him, caught him, and dragged him into the store. I went outside and got on my bike. I only made it about a block when I decided, what the fuck?! and went back. I found an employee and told him I was involved in the cigarette theivery attempt, and they chucked me in the back office to have my parents called and await my fate. Funny how my parents didn't really seem impressed by me going back in, though....
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God Im never that nice, i was stealin ribbons when i was a kid just because I wanted too. XD so bad
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Dude....wanna hear my story?
An ugly old hag that owned my neighbourhood store back in my hometown (and worked in it) once saw me put my hand in my jacket pocket inside the store.
She started yelling like mad "THIEF! THIEF! GET HIM, HE'S A THIEF!, called two security guards who frisked me clean and whatnot, and I even ended up in a POLICE station giving statements and crap...and the story had spread and all the people from the 'hood.were giving me funny looks whenever I got near their stuff. For a very long time.
Of course, it was all crap, I had just put my hand in my pocket without anything in it, but the damage was done and the label applied.
I HATED that hag for that, and after a while, I walked into that store one morning before school, bought a pack of gum and STOLE another one up my sleeve.
...and I KEPT doing that EVERY MON-FRI FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS, up to several months before the end of high school.
I stopped when that hag went to retirement and stopped working there.
Am I a disgusting bastard or what?
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Okay, now you should put that in comic book form...
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No time, bud......a mountain of crap to climb first.
If you're interested, go ahead, I'll sell you the rights for a....hm.
...for typing: "Here's to you! 
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