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Luna's Gift
by ROBCakeran53

"Lu-Lu..."

Princess Luna could hear a faint voice calling her name; a soothing tone, quiet and gentle like a mother would speak to her foal.

"Oh, Lu-Lu..."

It wasn't exactly calling her name, but her sister's pet name for the Moon Princess; the voice grew louder, as Luna began to stir. Princess Celestia was the only pony Luna would allow to call her such a childish name, so that could only mean it was one pony calling her from her peaceful sleep.

"Lu-Lu, I have a surprise for you..."

Luna turned around on her bed, facing away from the voice in an attempt to drift back into her slumber. She didn't know what time it was, and quite frankly didn't give a horse shoe. She had stayed up terribly late the previous night, doing more research on the current society of Equestria. She got so engrossed in a book all about the changes of music, that she had lost complete track of time. Before she knew it, her sister was raising the sun for the day, so Luna hastily lowered the moon to make way. Afterwords, she promptly collapsed in her large, plush bed.

After staying up for nearly twenty straight hours, she hadn't even registered the impact of her body against the sheets and pillows. In fact, she was asleep before she even touched the pillow. Being an Alicorn, she could go days, even weeks without sleep. She could harness her immense magic to give herself the energy that sleep would normally bring. For Luna however, there was nothing else quite like laying down and closing her eyes. It was always nice, calming, and she could reflect on everything she had learned for the day in her slumber. The slumber, which was now being disturbed by a recognizable voice calling to her.

"Dear sister, you leave me with no other choice..."

Luna, keeping her eyes closed and muzzle in her pillow, mumbled to the quiet voice of her older sister.

"I'm tired Tia, so-"

HNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

The speed at which Princess Luna sitting up in her bed, accompanied by her traditionally startled "EEEP!" was faster than Princess Celestia had seen her sister rise in a long time; it was due to obvious reasons of course. As Luna sat on her bed, Celestia couldn't help but let out a snicker, seeing her sister's horrible bed mane. Luna was not one to move around during her sleep; Celestia however, often found herself turned around, on the other side, sometimes even on the floor when she would wake. The Lunar Princess's bed mane was a definite example of how her sister slept; her mane on the right side completely flat and the rest a mess of stray hairs.

Slowly, Princess Luna turned her head to meet her sister's gaze. Floating next to the Sun Princess, was a small aerosol air horn; its red plastic funnel looking like a menacing grin, as in taunting the tired mare. Luna rubbed her head with a hoof, trying to adjust her vision to her surroundings. Her furnishings, a mixture of antique dark oak desks and dressers, seemed to blend well with the violet walls and shades covering her twenty foot tall windows. Her bed, besides her occupation in it, sat just as it had since she moved in. The matching dark oak posts reaching for the tall ceiling, accompanied by violet bed sheets and pillow cases.

Then, Luna's eyes focused on something else in her room; a large white pony, or possibly horse was the right term, standing beside Luna's bed with a large grin on her face. Her lightly multi-colored pastel mane seemed to move in a nonexistent wind, which was a sign of her magical influence around herself.

Grumpily, Princess Luna began to speak, "Unless my moon decided to rebound back into the sky, there should be no reason fo-"

"Oh Lu-Lu, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Princess Celestia sang; using her magic, she laid the air horn onto a desk full of papers.

Luna followed the air horn with her eyes, glaring at it with evil thoughts as it was gingerly set down; her attention for a brief moment then focusing on the papers. Just because Luna was still adjusting to life in Equestria, didn't mean she couldn't help out with work; she would often assist Celestia with countless legal matters. Even though Celestia had been ruling the country for a thousand years without her, her sister still struggled with the sorts of tasks that Luna found easily solved. This was where these papers were from; they were legal documents on the territories surrounding Equestria.

There had been some sort of dispute between the Griffons and some pony farmers. It was turning out to be a very difficult case, since the border dated back to beyond even her and her sister's birth. Recently the dispute had begun to get violent; the griffons vandalizing the farm numerous times, so in turn the farmers sabotaged some of the griffon's farm equipment. All of this, over just one simple square acre of land.

"I'm gone a thousand years, and everyone is still fighting over land."

Celestia's gaze brought Luna back to the situation at hand: why exactly had her sister woken her up? Luna thought about her sister's question a moment; she wanted something.

"Why?"

Celestia backed off, offended, "Why? Dear sister of mine, why would I have to have a reason to tell you I love you?" Celestia smiled and fluttered her eye lids, trying to look as innocent as she could.

However, that was her downfall when it came to Luna; she knew her sister's actions all to well. That smile may work on other ponies, but not herself.

"Because when you act like this, its either you want something or your on one of your tyrants again."

A devilish smile struck the Sun Princess's face, as she looked away, "Oh, I see then. Well, I was going to give you a present, but if you are-"

Celestia stopped the moment she felt her sister's front legs around her neck, her sister holding her in an embrace.

"Oh, you got me a present? What for?" Luna asked, backing away slowly from the hug.

With a glow of her horn, Celestia brought forth a small, wrapped gift box. The box itself was a dark blue, and had a lighter blue ribbon around it; on top was a bow matching the ribbon. The colors resembled Luna's coat and mane, and she gingerly took the present from her sister, examining it immediately.

With a short laugh, Celestia spoke, "Don't worry Lu-Lu, its not rigged to surprise you. It's a special gift, so I wouldn't dare ruin the moment with one of my foalish gags."

Luna studied the gift box, then looked back to her sister with a puzzled look, "Well, thank you Tia, but what is it for? It's not my birthday, and no other holiday I can think of."

Celestia placed her right hoof on her sister's shoulder, looking at her with all the seriousness the Sun Princess could muster, "You see, I realized I never got you a 'Welcome Home' gift when you returned almost a year ago. And you have been working so hard to adjust yourself and catch up on the current times, I felt I needed to get you something. You are, after all, my younger sister, so what better way to show how much I love you than a present?"

Celestia smiled, as she took her hoof back and continued to sit in front of her younger sister. Luna just stared at the gift box; the two just sat there for a minute. Celestia began to tap her left hoof on the marble floor, waiting patiently. When one minute turned into two, she bean to whistle to herself and study her sister's decor. Once the two minutes became three, Celestia had had enough; finally bored out of her royal mind from watching her sister just stare at the gift box, a slightly agitated Celestia spoke.

"Are you... going to open it?"

Luna looked from the package, to her sister, then back to the package again.

"Dear sister, don't tell me you forgot how to-"

"No, I know how to open a gift box. It's just... did you really not booby trap it?"

Under normal circumstances, Luna wouldn't have even thought about her sister's gift being trapped. But what Celestia had said worried her: that the box wasn't trapped. Now, her mind couldn't stop thinking about different scenarios playing out in her mind. It could be anything, or it could be nothing.

Celestia shook her head, then smiled as she lifted the gift near her sister's muzzle, "Now, open it."

Using her own magic, Luna untied the bow with the utmost care. She liked the ribbon, and hoped to salvage it; maybe for her mane, or a simple item for decor. Once the ribbon was off and laid onto her bed, Luna lifted the top off the blue box. She looked inside, her curiosity finally at an all time high.

Inside, was a pair of socks. Pink in color, with some special touches along the tops of them; the extra-tall cuffs were a thinner material, allowing a glimpse at the wearers leg through the fabric. Along the very top edge, were roses stitched into a pattern. Luna lifted the two socks with her magic, and gave her sister a quizzical look.

Celestia smiled, as she took the bottom section of the box and set it onto Luna's bed, "Well? Do you like them?"

Luna looked at the socks more. They were nice, that was for sure, but they also looked slightly... scanty, "Um, yes, they are... beautiful," Luna fake smiled, as she set the socks back into the box.

"Oh, I just knew you would love them. In the last 'Playmare' magazine, they said socks were the latest thing for mares! Apparently, stallions are going nuts over a mare in socks."

Luna froze up, stiffened her legs, and glared at her sister, "I knew it...".

"Tia, we are not doing this again."

Celestia looked surprised, "Again? Why, what do you mean sister?"

"I mean trying to get me to... bed with a stallion. That last experience still haunts me."

Luna thought back to several months ago. Feeling stressed from her studies, Luna was trying to find ways to calm herself as she worked. She quickly found making an intimate object into some sort of "pet" worked; an abacus that was sadly sitting in a store room. Naming it "Abby", she took it with her everywhere she went; she still kept it by her side most of the time. Although, she treated it more like a baby now than a pet. Luna had always been curious about being a mother, and this was good practice in case the scenario were ever to rise.

Her sister, however, thought she needed to relax in another way; one that involved the company of the other sex.

"Well, how you always looked at that guard, I thought you liked him."

"The reason I was always looking at him, was because I saw him steal one of your pastries before the dish arrived to you."

"Yes, and he apologized for that, as well did I to you."

Luna stared at her sister a moment longer, before another question arose in her mind. She mentioned something about a magazine; the title did not sound familiar to anything she had read, "Um, Tia, about that magazine. What was it called? I can't say I've ever heard of it."

Celestia smiled, the devilish smile Luna hated, "Oh, Playmare? Yes, its a quite popular magazine amongst single mares."

"What is it about? I should give it a look and see for myself sometime, since I'm still trying to learn popular culture."

Celestia craned her head toward Luna, and motioned with her hoof to come closer. Luna, curious about the action, gave her sister a confused look. Celestia pointed to two royal guards standing in attention inside the room, keeping still. Both white Pegasi, standing with the utmost attention physically and most likely mentally possible. Luna would sometimes just watch them to see what they did during their duty. And as she expected, all they would do is stand there; they were literal white statues.

Catching the hint, Luna drew her head closer to her sister's. With a sudden motion, Celestia grabbed around Luna's neck and drew her closer yet. There, they sat as Celestia whispered into her sister's ear. At first, Luna listened carefully, wanting to gather any information on this subject matter she could absorb. Then, her sister began to explain the magazines topic of choice. With each passing second, Luna's face grew redder and her pupils grew smaller as her sister explained the reasoning of why it was so popular among single mares. Finally, hearing enough she backed away, in pure and utter shock at what her sister had just told her.

"AND THEY PUBLISH THIS???" Luna almost screamed, her face still beat red.

Celestia simply nodded with a smile as she stood up. Turning around, she waved a hoof to the guards. One, who Luna just noticed was holding a rolled up magazine in his muzzle, walked over with no signs of emotion. He didn't falter, he didn't look away from Celestia; in fact, Luna could swear the entire time he had been standing there he didn't even blink.

The stallion guard stopped beside Celestia, and using her magic she took the magazine in question from him.

"Thank you Stud Muffin."

Luna's jaw almost literally dropped. She knew her sister was informal with the guards, making small talk all the time and calling them by name, but now calling them such profane names? Some things she did went too far, this being one of them. Celestia stared at her sister a moment, confused as to why she looked to her with utter disbelief. Finally, the Sun Princess realized why Luna's mouth was agape; with a small chuckle, she spoke.

"Oh relax Lu-Lu, that is his name. Sergeant Stud Muffin."

The guard stood in attention, or in a more attentive manner than he already had; Luna could almost see the stallion's eyes reddening from lack of blinking. This stallion either took his job too serious or was nervous as if this was his first day at school. Still, her sister's accusation that his name was Stud Muffin, just blew everything else out of the water.

"Your... name is Stud Muffin?" Luna asked quietly.

The stallion didn't speak, instead continued to look straight ahead; Celestia gave a heavy sigh, as she spoke once more, "You have permission to speak... Muffin."

Even with the utmost seriousness Celestia could muster, one small snicker escaped her lips after saying his name. She did her best to keep her mouth closed, but it was apparent Celestia was struggling. Still, the stallion straightened out his legs as he stood there, and nodded.

"My family are muffin makers, Princess. And, due to tradition, when a foal is born the name is..." the stallion hesitated for a moment, before swallowing and finally allowing a single blink of each eye in unison, "...randomly drawn from a hat."

Princess Luna looked at the stallion with a dumbfounded stare; was what this stallion saying really true? She would make a note about this, and look up his records later.

"My uncle, the jokester he was, chose the name 'Stud' and put it in the hat. It was just my luck, my mother drew it," the stallion seemed to speak in a depressed tone. That tone however, did not last long as he once again straightened out his legs.

"How can he continue to do that? He's going to pull a muscle." Luna thought, as she looked back to her sister.

"You see?" Celestia said, then turned back to the guard, "Now, you may return to your post. Thank you... Stud Muffin."

The stallion seemed to sigh his response, as he slowly trotted back to the double doors marking Luna's bedroom. The Sun Princess couldn't hold back her smile for long, as she looked to her younger sister with a childish grin on her face.

Now with the guard out of the way, Luna took the magazine from her sister and gave it a quick glance, first noticing the sending address in a large white rectangle. The usual address numbers of the castle, postal code, her name, and the-

"Wait, my name?"

Luna's face went near pale, as she slowly looked to her older sister, "Wh-wh-why is it in my name...?"

Celestia let out another childish laugh, rubbing behind her neck with her left hoof, "Well, you see dear sister, when this magazine first started up roughly one hundred years ago, it was under a high scrutiny. For obvious reasons, I could not simply order it under my name, so... I borrowed yours."

Luna could feel her jaw hit the ground... again, her eyes shrinking, "So, you're telling me you have been getting these... these... smut magazines for a hundred years... in my name?"

"Oh relax Lu-Lu, it's alright. Nopony knows about it other than the publishing company..."

Luna let out a sigh of relief, "Well, you best make sure tha-"

"...and some of the guards I have lent them to over the years. Though oddly I never get them back. Some of them had a few good articles on increasing your stallion's stamina. It would have helped me for-"

Luna at this point had covered her ears with her front hoofs, using all the power she could in blocking her sister's words. But it felt like Celestia was using some magic of her own, causing Luna to read her sister's lips and fully understand every word she said;

"...he was a sensational stallion, just had some problems with keeping up..."

Luna got desperate enough to start talking out loud.

"La la la la! I'm not listening! La la la la!"

"...and with me being so tall, do you know how hard it is to..."

Luna had had enough, "PLEASE! STOP!"

Celestia could not help but laugh at her younger sister, "Oh, you're acting just like when mother and father gave us the "Birds and the Bee's" talk."

Luna felt a lump in her throat, as the memories flooded back.

The Sun Princess continued, "Well, gave me the talk. You ran out of the room at the 'When a mare and a stallion really love each other' part," she teased, raising a hoof to her mouth to cover the incoming laughter.

Luna, with a pale face, ruby red cheeks, and a horrible case of bed mane, sat quietly next to her bed, allowing the entire situation to simmer inside her head. What the Moon Princess didn't notice however, was her sister walking up beside her and sitting close. Taking her right wing, and wrapping it around her younger sister for comfort, Celestia nuzzled Luna's bed mane. Then, Celestia took her right front hoof and began to attempt at straightening it up as she spoke.

"Oh calm down Lu-Lu. All of that was in the past, you don't have to get so bent out of shape over it now. Just continue your research, I'll have the subscription terminated and any records erased. How does that sound?"

Princess Luna continued to sit on the marble floor; her sister's wing and words beginning to sink in and comfort the Alicorn... only slightly. Luna glared at her sister with hostility, this entire morning...

"Or is it afternoon? I have not even checked the time yet."

Luna, breaking her gaze from Celestia for only a moment, checked her newly installed clock above one of her many desks. It said 11:45... a.m.

"Its... not even noon yet?"

Luna returned her hostile gaze at her older sister, just peering into those deep purple eyes; she had only been asleep for five hours.

Celestia smiled once more, looking back at Luna's eyes, "Don't give me that look. You know I don't intend to hurt your feelings, and I can tell so far I have not."

"How do you know," Luna asked, breaking her gaze from her sister and walking away, her tail flickering a couple times in frustration. Her voice carried an angry tone as she avoided making eye contact with her sister.

"Because, if any of this had upset you dearly, you would have asked me to leave."

Luna stopped when Celestia finished her sentence, "That is true, why haven't I asked her to leave yet?" Luna looked back to her sister; instead of her typical smile, Celestia had her mouth scrunched up, her bottom lip trembling and large puppy dog eyes pleading at her.

"And don't you give me that look," Luna scolded, turning away from her sister once more.

Luna wasn't truly mad at her sister, just merely frustrated. Day after day, it was a roundabout of constant pranks, or jokes, or pillow forts in the throne room, or-

From behind her, Luna could hear the faint sounds of sniffing, huffing, and heavy breaths that broke her concentration. There was also one more sound, a horrible one at that. Though it was physically impossible for any regular pony to hear it, Luna and her sister had somehow or another (most likely due to their Alicorn status) been given the gift of superior hearing. And there was one sound, out of every sound she had ever heard, that made her cringe when hearing it.

It sounded worse than a hoof on a chalk board, or a deathly screech of a tormented soul if audibly possible. It was the sound of her sister crying. Slowly the Moon Princess turned around and looked at her sister, a single tear running down each of her puffed out cheeks. Celestia would often use this tactic against her to prove a point; it always worked on the younger Alicorn.

Luna lowered her head, feeling the guilt train ram into her heart. She did come off a little cranky, and she knew her sister was only playing around, "Tia, I'm so-"

Luna hit the marble floor like a tree falling in the woods, with a loud THUMP! Standing over her, was her sister, Princess Celestia, with a large smile on her face.

"It's alright dear sister, I forgive you. And I'm sorry myself. I shouldn't have used your name for that magazine. I won't ever do it again. I Pinkie Pie promise."

Luna, after recovering her thoughts from the sudden tackle, thought about what her sister said. She recognized the name, but what exactly a Pinkie Pie "promise" was, she didn't know. So long as her sister made a promise to her, she would keep it. That is all Luna needed to know, before sitting herself up and nuzzling Celestia's side.

"Thank you, Tia. I love you."

"Anything for my little sister, my Lu-Lu. I love you too."

The two royal sisters sat there a moment longer, just nuzzling and hugging one another. It wasn't a royal sisters hug either; that formality was tossed out in the window whenever they were alone together, this was just a sister-to-sister hug. One that meant so much to each mare, after being separated for a thousand years.

"So is that all Tia?" Luna asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.

Celestia backed away from her sister, she too wiping away her tears of joy; for having her loving sister back; her Lu-Lu.

"Oh, one thing dear sister," Celestia began. Luna had stood up, trying to wander her way back to her soft, comfortable bed. She turned around, meeting her eldest sister's eyes, "I just so happened to find those documents you were asking me about: The farm land dispute."

Luna's mood quickly shot up more than ever; she had been looking for those missing documents for two days now. It was driving the relatively young Alicorn mad.

"They are in the library. I have Ms. Quill holding on to them."

Luna had to think about the name a moment; at first, it didn't register. She could never figure out how her sister was able to remember all the staff and guards' names with everything else going on. The only names she knew were Celestia's prized pupil and her friends.

Celestia, half expecting the dull facial expression from her sister, continued, "The librarian."

The candle in Luna's head lit up bright for a moment, then a gust of wind blew over the flame and extinguishing it.

"We have a librarian?"

"Why yes sister, have you never noticed her before?"

Luna continued to stand next to her bed, trying to remember anything about a librarian in the royal library. The numerous times she had entered that room, there was never a soul there. Or, she had just never heard anypony in there. Luna made another mental note to check on this.

Celestia, happy that she had done her duty, turned to leave as the guards exited the room ahead of her.

"Don't work too late again, dear sister. You promised me last night you would raise the moon and lower the sun for me tonight, since I'm attending a bachelorette party for a very close dragon friend of mine."

Luna blinked, "Oh, right, will do!"

Luna simply nodded as well as the two royal guards and her sister exited her room. The heavy wood doors slowly creaked to a close, and a loud latch was heard echoing throughout her monstrous bedroom. Luna, happy for how the little endeavor was over, turned back to her bed and stared at the two pink socks laying flat on her sheets.

With a thought of her magic, the two socks neatly folded themselves, were hovered and placed back into the box, and the lid replaced. Picking up the box, she carried it into her walk-in closet. As she opened the door, a simple light bulb came on as her eyes adjusted to its brightness. This was the only electric bulb in her entire bedroom; only for the fact when it came to remodeling the room for her arrival, the workers forgot to take this one light out.

Lucky for Luna, it served a very good purpose, immediately when she walked in, the light would come on. And once she left, it would turn off. Her sister had mentioned something about "motion technology", but also added it was more recent technology. In her studies, Luna was still only on the 500's years of the Sun Princess's rule. She still used candles for light, her abacus "Abby" for calculations, and a good book to entertain herself.

Letting her mind wander more, she set down the dark blue box onto a shelf, along with other formal attire. Inside the closet spanned gown upon gown, one for any occasion that could arise. Still, something about this gift from her sister had left Luna with a bad feeling in her stomach. She couldn't put a hoof on it, but when she first saw the socks she thought she could feel another presence. Though it could have just been her stressed out from the past few days.

The moon princess stepped out of her closet; the light behind her clicked off as the door closed behind her. Luna walked forward some feet, before stopping in the center of her room; she looked around, just studying her surroundings. It was still somewhat difficult for her to fully adjust herself back to a normal furnished bedroom after spending so much time with nothing.

What finally brought Luna back from her thoughts was the "Playmare" magazine laying on the floor; Celestia had forgotten to take it with her.

"Or did she?"

Luna, using her magic, raised the colored book to her muzzle, and studied it longer. On the cover was a yellow Earth stallion, sitting provocatively and looking towards Luna. Cautiously, Luna began to open the magazine as her heart raced inside her chest. She opened it to a random page; her face turning red in an instant as she gawked at the image before her.

"Oh my..."

She hastily closed it and dropped it back onto the floor.

"R-right, back to work then."

Hastily Luna gathered up the massive paper stack with her magic and began to leave her room. Walking by her vanity, she quickly combed her horrible bed mane and continued on. She could still see her face blushed, and did her best to calm herself. She also cursed at herself under her breath, due to curiosity getting the best of her once again. As her double doors swung open, one last thing popped into her head.

"Abby!"

Stretching her magic with ease, she grabbed Abby from its crib at the foot of her bed. It hovered to her, and giving it a quick kiss she walked out into the main hallway. Standing there was only one of the guards from before. He stood still, not even looking at the Moon Princess. Luna, out of some sort of curiosity began to look the guard over, until her eyes began to look to his flank and-

Luna quickly shook her head, her cheeks blushed even more as the thoughts began to bloom in her mind.

"Curse my sister, curse my curiosity, curse... my sister again!"

Luna practically dashed down the hallway towards the library, doing her best not to look at any of the male guards, which all of them were.

----------

Princess Celestia slowly walked down the hall, holding another magazine to her face with her magic. She was able to multitask with ease, and walking while reading was nothing compared to some of the things she'd done at once. Looking away briefly, she glanced behind her to make sure the royal guard, Stud Muffin, was still with her. He was keeping himself at full attention while he walked. Each hoof struck the tile floor with a loud CLOP as he kept his focus straight ahead, not even chancing a look at the Sun Princess.

What Celestia didn't notice, before she returned to her magazine, was the sweat running down the stallion's face. With the Sun Princess's sudden need of his "service", accompanied by the suggestive magazine she was reading, Stud Muffin was beyond nervous, his throat dry, and the words of his superior echoing in his mind.

"Now, you all know our duties to the princess (at the time there was only Celestia). Now, there are some, other duties the princess may ask of you that go beyond the guard. Just remember; you cannot ever ever EVER say a word about what happens, no matter how insignificant it is."

A graduated guard standing in line rose his hoof in the air, signaling he had a question.

"Yes, Sergeant..." the unicorn Colonel raised a clipboard to his muzzle, "...Stud Muffin?"

Some of the other graduates let out quiet laughs, as Stud Muffin kept his attention on his superior.

"Yes sir!"

"What is your question Sergeant?"

"Um, what do you mean by 'other' duties?"

The Colonel let out a short laugh, "Sergeant. She's a lone mare that has been pent up in a mountain castle for nearly a thousand years. She's surrounded by literally thousands of stallion guards, most of which with the closest thing to a mare being the hoofs on their legs. There is a reason she has only male guards in the castle... Need I say more?"

If the Colonel could take a picture, he would have. All the eyes of the graduates were larger than saucers as what he said sank in. With a witty grin, he turned around and began to trot away.

"Oh, Muffin. Lets just hope you're not a screamer."

Back to the present, Sargent Stud Muffin tried to keep some distance between he and the royal princess. Though his superior never directly said it, all of the guards knew what he was implying; it scared the manure out of the stallion. Finally, the dreaded moment came when they reached her royal chamber. The massive wood doors stood towering over everything else, with Celestia's cutie mark painted on the doors.

Suddenly, Celestia rolled the magazine up and slapped it against her door. This caused the stallion to jump, something he was trained not to do. But with his mind racing with his superior's words, and a pool of sweat gathering in parts of his golden armor, he couldn't help it.

Then, Celestia turned around and looked Stud Muffin over carefully. The entire time the stallion stood at the most attentive manor he could muster. He couldn't hide, however, the sweat trickling down his face. Celestia lowered her head to meet Muffin's eyes; drawing her muzzle closer to his, not looking away from his blue eyes. Though not his natural eye color, a simple pair of contacts did the trick. Princess Celestia had the straightest face anypony could muster, as she just studied the stallion guard.

"You're not ready yet," finally, she backed off giving the Sergeant some breathing room. She sighed, as she opened her door.

"Thank you Stud Muffin, that will be all."

And with that, she entered her chamber and closed her door. Sergeant Stud Muffin continued to stand in full attention, looking at the Sun Princesse's door in utter shock and confusion at what had just happened.

From inside her chamber, Princess Celestia burst into laughter as she tossed the magazine with the others she had collected. Glancing at her antique grandfather clock, she saw it was only noon; the day was just getting started, and she had plenty of time before the party. With her magic, Celestia brought forth from under her bed a simple cardboard box; on the side, it was labeled "Gags" with black marker. With a devilish grin, she pulled out of the box a fake, rubber garden snake.

"Hm, lets go pay the cook a visit."

Description
Luna's Gift
by ROBCakeran53

"Lu-Lu..."

Princess Luna could hear a faint voice calling her name; a soothing tone, quiet and gentle like a mother would speak to her foal.

"Oh, Lu-Lu..."

It wasn't exactly calling her name, but her sister's pet name for the Moon Princess; the voice grew louder, as Luna began to stir. Princess Celestia was the only pony Luna would allow to call her such a childish name, so that could only mean it was one pony calling her from her peaceful sleep.

"Lu-Lu, I have a surprise for you..."

Luna turned around on her bed, facing away from the voice in an attempt to drift back into her slumber. She didn't know what time it was, and quite frankly didn't give a horse shoe. She had stayed up terribly late the previous night, doing more research on the current society of Equestria. She got so engrossed in a book all about the changes of music, that she had lost complete track of time. Before she knew it, her sister was raising the sun for the day, so Luna hastily lowered the moon to make way. Afterwords, she promptly collapsed in her large, plush bed.

After staying up for nearly twenty straight hours, she hadn't even registered the impact of her body against the sheets and pillows. In fact, she was asleep before she even touched the pillow. Being an Alicorn, she could go days, even weeks without sleep. She could harness her immense magic to give herself the energy that sleep would normally bring. For Luna however, there was nothing else quite like laying down and closing her eyes. It was always nice, calming, and she could reflect on everything she had learned for the day in her slumber. The slumber, which was now being disturbed by a recognizable voice calling to her.

"Dear sister, you leave me with no other choice..."

Luna, keeping her eyes closed and muzzle in her pillow, mumbled to the quiet voice of her older sister.

"I'm tired Tia, so-"

HNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

The speed at which Princess Luna sitting up in her bed, accompanied by her traditionally startled "EEEP!" was faster than Princess Celestia had seen her sister rise in a long time; it was due to obvious reasons of course. As Luna sat on her bed, Celestia couldn't help but let out a snicker, seeing her sister's horrible bed mane. Luna was not one to move around during her sleep; Celestia however, often found herself turned around, on the other side, sometimes even on the floor when she would wake. The Lunar Princess's bed mane was a definite example of how her sister slept; her mane on the right side completely flat and the rest a mess of stray hairs.

Slowly, Princess Luna turned her head to meet her sister's gaze. Floating next to the Sun Princess, was a small aerosol air horn; its red plastic funnel looking like a menacing grin, as in taunting the tired mare. Luna rubbed her head with a hoof, trying to adjust her vision to her surroundings. Her furnishings, a mixture of antique dark oak desks and dressers, seemed to blend well with the violet walls and shades covering her twenty foot tall windows. Her bed, besides her occupation in it, sat just as it had since she moved in. The matching dark oak posts reaching for the tall ceiling, accompanied by violet bed sheets and pillow cases.

Then, Luna's eyes focused on something else in her room; a large white pony, or possibly horse was the right term, standing beside Luna's bed with a large grin on her face. Her lightly multi-colored pastel mane seemed to move in a nonexistent wind, which was a sign of her magical influence around herself.

Grumpily, Princess Luna began to speak, "Unless my moon decided to rebound back into the sky, there should be no reason fo-"

"Oh Lu-Lu, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Princess Celestia sang; using her magic, she laid the air horn onto a desk full of papers.

Luna followed the air horn with her eyes, glaring at it with evil thoughts as it was gingerly set down; her attention for a brief moment then focusing on the papers. Just because Luna was still adjusting to life in Equestria, didn't mean she couldn't help out with work; she would often assist Celestia with countless legal matters. Even though Celestia had been ruling the country for a thousand years without her, her sister still struggled with the sorts of tasks that Luna found easily solved. This was where these papers were from; they were legal documents on the territories surrounding Equestria.

There had been some sort of dispute between the Griffons and some pony farmers. It was turning out to be a very difficult case, since the border dated back to beyond even her and her sister's birth. Recently the dispute had begun to get violent; the griffons vandalizing the farm numerous times, so in turn the farmers sabotaged some of the griffon's farm equipment. All of this, over just one simple square acre of land.

"I'm gone a thousand years, and everyone is still fighting over land."

Celestia's gaze brought Luna back to the situation at hand: why exactly had her sister woken her up? Luna thought about her sister's question a moment; she wanted something.

"Why?"

Celestia backed off, offended, "Why? Dear sister of mine, why would I have to have a reason to tell you I love you?" Celestia smiled and fluttered her eye lids, trying to look as innocent as she could.

However, that was her downfall when it came to Luna; she knew her sister's actions all to well. That smile may work on other ponies, but not herself.

"Because when you act like this, its either you want something or your on one of your tyrants again."

A devilish smile struck the Sun Princess's face, as she looked away, "Oh, I see then. Well, I was going to give you a present, but if you are-"

Celestia stopped the moment she felt her sister's front legs around her neck, her sister holding her in an embrace.

"Oh, you got me a present? What for?" Luna asked, backing away slowly from the hug.

With a glow of her horn, Celestia brought forth a small, wrapped gift box. The box itself was a dark blue, and had a lighter blue ribbon around it; on top was a bow matching the ribbon. The colors resembled Luna's coat and mane, and she gingerly took the present from her sister, examining it immediately.

With a short laugh, Celestia spoke, "Don't worry Lu-Lu, its not rigged to surprise you. It's a special gift, so I wouldn't dare ruin the moment with one of my foalish gags."

Luna studied the gift box, then looked back to her sister with a puzzled look, "Well, thank you Tia, but what is it for? It's not my birthday, and no other holiday I can think of."

Celestia placed her right hoof on her sister's shoulder, looking at her with all the seriousness the Sun Princess could muster, "You see, I realized I never got you a 'Welcome Home' gift when you returned almost a year ago. And you have been working so hard to adjust yourself and catch up on the current times, I felt I needed to get you something. You are, after all, my younger sister, so what better way to show how much I love you than a present?"

Celestia smiled, as she took her hoof back and continued to sit in front of her younger sister. Luna just stared at the gift box; the two just sat there for a minute. Celestia began to tap her left hoof on the marble floor, waiting patiently. When one minute turned into two, she bean to whistle to herself and study her sister's decor. Once the two minutes became three, Celestia had had enough; finally bored out of her royal mind from watching her sister just stare at the gift box, a slightly agitated Celestia spoke.

"Are you... going to open it?"

Luna looked from the package, to her sister, then back to the package again.

"Dear sister, don't tell me you forgot how to-"

"No, I know how to open a gift box. It's just... did you really not booby trap it?"

Under normal circumstances, Luna wouldn't have even thought about her sister's gift being trapped. But what Celestia had said worried her: that the box wasn't trapped. Now, her mind couldn't stop thinking about different scenarios playing out in her mind. It could be anything, or it could be nothing.

Celestia shook her head, then smiled as she lifted the gift near her sister's muzzle, "Now, open it."

Using her own magic, Luna untied the bow with the utmost care. She liked the ribbon, and hoped to salvage it; maybe for her mane, or a simple item for decor. Once the ribbon was off and laid onto her bed, Luna lifted the top off the blue box. She looked inside, her curiosity finally at an all time high.

Inside, was a pair of socks. Pink in color, with some special touches along the tops of them; the extra-tall cuffs were a thinner material, allowing a glimpse at the wearers leg through the fabric. Along the very top edge, were roses stitched into a pattern. Luna lifted the two socks with her magic, and gave her sister a quizzical look.

Celestia smiled, as she took the bottom section of the box and set it onto Luna's bed, "Well? Do you like them?"

Luna looked at the socks more. They were nice, that was for sure, but they also looked slightly... scanty, "Um, yes, they are... beautiful," Luna fake smiled, as she set the socks back into the box.

"Oh, I just knew you would love them. In the last 'Playmare' magazine, they said socks were the latest thing for mares! Apparently, stallions are going nuts over a mare in socks."

Luna froze up, stiffened her legs, and glared at her sister, "I knew it...".

"Tia, we are not doing this again."

Celestia looked surprised, "Again? Why, what do you mean sister?"

"I mean trying to get me to... bed with a stallion. That last experience still haunts me."

Luna thought back to several months ago. Feeling stressed from her studies, Luna was trying to find ways to calm herself as she worked. She quickly found making an intimate object into some sort of "pet" worked; an abacus that was sadly sitting in a store room. Naming it "Abby", she took it with her everywhere she went; she still kept it by her side most of the time. Although, she treated it more like a baby now than a pet. Luna had always been curious about being a mother, and this was good practice in case the scenario were ever to rise.

Her sister, however, thought she needed to relax in another way; one that involved the company of the other sex.

"Well, how you always looked at that guard, I thought you liked him."

"The reason I was always looking at him, was because I saw him steal one of your pastries before the dish arrived to you."

"Yes, and he apologized for that, as well did I to you."

Luna stared at her sister a moment longer, before another question arose in her mind. She mentioned something about a magazine; the title did not sound familiar to anything she had read, "Um, Tia, about that magazine. What was it called? I can't say I've ever heard of it."

Celestia smiled, the devilish smile Luna hated, "Oh, Playmare? Yes, its a quite popular magazine amongst single mares."

"What is it about? I should give it a look and see for myself sometime, since I'm still trying to learn popular culture."

Celestia craned her head toward Luna, and motioned with her hoof to come closer. Luna, curious about the action, gave her sister a confused look. Celestia pointed to two royal guards standing in attention inside the room, keeping still. Both white Pegasi, standing with the utmost attention physically and most likely mentally possible. Luna would sometimes just watch them to see what they did during their duty. And as she expected, all they would do is stand there; they were literal white statues.

Catching the hint, Luna drew her head closer to her sister's. With a sudden motion, Celestia grabbed around Luna's neck and drew her closer yet. There, they sat as Celestia whispered into her sister's ear. At first, Luna listened carefully, wanting to gather any information on this subject matter she could absorb. Then, her sister began to explain the magazines topic of choice. With each passing second, Luna's face grew redder and her pupils grew smaller as her sister explained the reasoning of why it was so popular among single mares. Finally, hearing enough she backed away, in pure and utter shock at what her sister had just told her.

"AND THEY PUBLISH THIS???" Luna almost screamed, her face still beat red.

Celestia simply nodded with a smile as she stood up. Turning around, she waved a hoof to the guards. One, who Luna just noticed was holding a rolled up magazine in his muzzle, walked over with no signs of emotion. He didn't falter, he didn't look away from Celestia; in fact, Luna could swear the entire time he had been standing there he didn't even blink.

The stallion guard stopped beside Celestia, and using her magic she took the magazine in question from him.

"Thank you Stud Muffin."

Luna's jaw almost literally dropped. She knew her sister was informal with the guards, making small talk all the time and calling them by name, but now calling them such profane names? Some things she did went too far, this being one of them. Celestia stared at her sister a moment, confused as to why she looked to her with utter disbelief. Finally, the Sun Princess realized why Luna's mouth was agape; with a small chuckle, she spoke.

"Oh relax Lu-Lu, that is his name. Sergeant Stud Muffin."

The guard stood in attention, or in a more attentive manner than he already had; Luna could almost see the stallion's eyes reddening from lack of blinking. This stallion either took his job too serious or was nervous as if this was his first day at school. Still, her sister's accusation that his name was Stud Muffin, just blew everything else out of the water.

"Your... name is Stud Muffin?" Luna asked quietly.

The stallion didn't speak, instead continued to look straight ahead; Celestia gave a heavy sigh, as she spoke once more, "You have permission to speak... Muffin."

Even with the utmost seriousness Celestia could muster, one small snicker escaped her lips after saying his name. She did her best to keep her mouth closed, but it was apparent Celestia was struggling. Still, the stallion straightened out his legs as he stood there, and nodded.

"My family are muffin makers, Princess. And, due to tradition, when a foal is born the name is..." the stallion hesitated for a moment, before swallowing and finally allowing a single blink of each eye in unison, "...randomly drawn from a hat."

Princess Luna looked at the stallion with a dumbfounded stare; was what this stallion saying really true? She would make a note about this, and look up his records later.

"My uncle, the jokester he was, chose the name 'Stud' and put it in the hat. It was just my luck, my mother drew it," the stallion seemed to speak in a depressed tone. That tone however, did not last long as he once again straightened out his legs.

"How can he continue to do that? He's going to pull a muscle." Luna thought, as she looked back to her sister.

"You see?" Celestia said, then turned back to the guard, "Now, you may return to your post. Thank you... Stud Muffin."

The stallion seemed to sigh his response, as he slowly trotted back to the double doors marking Luna's bedroom. The Sun Princess couldn't hold back her smile for long, as she looked to her younger sister with a childish grin on her face.

Now with the guard out of the way, Luna took the magazine from her sister and gave it a quick glance, first noticing the sending address in a large white rectangle. The usual address numbers of the castle, postal code, her name, and the-

"Wait, my name?"

Luna's face went near pale, as she slowly looked to her older sister, "Wh-wh-why is it in my name...?"

Celestia let out another childish laugh, rubbing behind her neck with her left hoof, "Well, you see dear sister, when this magazine first started up roughly one hundred years ago, it was under a high scrutiny. For obvious reasons, I could not simply order it under my name, so... I borrowed yours."

Luna could feel her jaw hit the ground... again, her eyes shrinking, "So, you're telling me you have been getting these... these... smut magazines for a hundred years... in my name?"

"Oh relax Lu-Lu, it's alright. Nopony knows about it other than the publishing company..."

Luna let out a sigh of relief, "Well, you best make sure tha-"

"...and some of the guards I have lent them to over the years. Though oddly I never get them back. Some of them had a few good articles on increasing your stallion's stamina. It would have helped me for-"

Luna at this point had covered her ears with her front hoofs, using all the power she could in blocking her sister's words. But it felt like Celestia was using some magic of her own, causing Luna to read her sister's lips and fully understand every word she said;

"...he was a sensational stallion, just had some problems with keeping up..."

Luna got desperate enough to start talking out loud.

"La la la la! I'm not listening! La la la la!"

"...and with me being so tall, do you know how hard it is to..."

Luna had had enough, "PLEASE! STOP!"

Celestia could not help but laugh at her younger sister, "Oh, you're acting just like when mother and father gave us the "Birds and the Bee's" talk."

Luna felt a lump in her throat, as the memories flooded back.

The Sun Princess continued, "Well, gave me the talk. You ran out of the room at the 'When a mare and a stallion really love each other' part," she teased, raising a hoof to her mouth to cover the incoming laughter.

Luna, with a pale face, ruby red cheeks, and a horrible case of bed mane, sat quietly next to her bed, allowing the entire situation to simmer inside her head. What the Moon Princess didn't notice however, was her sister walking up beside her and sitting close. Taking her right wing, and wrapping it around her younger sister for comfort, Celestia nuzzled Luna's bed mane. Then, Celestia took her right front hoof and began to attempt at straightening it up as she spoke.

"Oh calm down Lu-Lu. All of that was in the past, you don't have to get so bent out of shape over it now. Just continue your research, I'll have the subscription terminated and any records erased. How does that sound?"

Princess Luna continued to sit on the marble floor; her sister's wing and words beginning to sink in and comfort the Alicorn... only slightly. Luna glared at her sister with hostility, this entire morning...

"Or is it afternoon? I have not even checked the time yet."

Luna, breaking her gaze from Celestia for only a moment, checked her newly installed clock above one of her many desks. It said 11:45... a.m.

"Its... not even noon yet?"

Luna returned her hostile gaze at her older sister, just peering into those deep purple eyes; she had only been asleep for five hours.

Celestia smiled once more, looking back at Luna's eyes, "Don't give me that look. You know I don't intend to hurt your feelings, and I can tell so far I have not."

"How do you know," Luna asked, breaking her gaze from her sister and walking away, her tail flickering a couple times in frustration. Her voice carried an angry tone as she avoided making eye contact with her sister.

"Because, if any of this had upset you dearly, you would have asked me to leave."

Luna stopped when Celestia finished her sentence, "That is true, why haven't I asked her to leave yet?" Luna looked back to her sister; instead of her typical smile, Celestia had her mouth scrunched up, her bottom lip trembling and large puppy dog eyes pleading at her.

"And don't you give me that look," Luna scolded, turning away from her sister once more.

Luna wasn't truly mad at her sister, just merely frustrated. Day after day, it was a roundabout of constant pranks, or jokes, or pillow forts in the throne room, or-

From behind her, Luna could hear the faint sounds of sniffing, huffing, and heavy breaths that broke her concentration. There was also one more sound, a horrible one at that. Though it was physically impossible for any regular pony to hear it, Luna and her sister had somehow or another (most likely due to their Alicorn status) been given the gift of superior hearing. And there was one sound, out of every sound she had ever heard, that made her cringe when hearing it.

It sounded worse than a hoof on a chalk board, or a deathly screech of a tormented soul if audibly possible. It was the sound of her sister crying. Slowly the Moon Princess turned around and looked at her sister, a single tear running down each of her puffed out cheeks. Celestia would often use this tactic against her to prove a point; it always worked on the younger Alicorn.

Luna lowered her head, feeling the guilt train ram into her heart. She did come off a little cranky, and she knew her sister was only playing around, "Tia, I'm so-"

Luna hit the marble floor like a tree falling in the woods, with a loud THUMP! Standing over her, was her sister, Princess Celestia, with a large smile on her face.

"It's alright dear sister, I forgive you. And I'm sorry myself. I shouldn't have used your name for that magazine. I won't ever do it again. I Pinkie Pie promise."

Luna, after recovering her thoughts from the sudden tackle, thought about what her sister said. She recognized the name, but what exactly a Pinkie Pie "promise" was, she didn't know. So long as her sister made a promise to her, she would keep it. That is all Luna needed to know, before sitting herself up and nuzzling Celestia's side.

"Thank you, Tia. I love you."

"Anything for my little sister, my Lu-Lu. I love you too."

The two royal sisters sat there a moment longer, just nuzzling and hugging one another. It wasn't a royal sisters hug either; that formality was tossed out in the window whenever they were alone together, this was just a sister-to-sister hug. One that meant so much to each mare, after being separated for a thousand years.

"So is that all Tia?" Luna asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.

Celestia backed away from her sister, she too wiping away her tears of joy; for having her loving sister back; her Lu-Lu.

"Oh, one thing dear sister," Celestia began. Luna had stood up, trying to wander her way back to her soft, comfortable bed. She turned around, meeting her eldest sister's eyes, "I just so happened to find those documents you were asking me about: The farm land dispute."

Luna's mood quickly shot up more than ever; she had been looking for those missing documents for two days now. It was driving the relatively young Alicorn mad.

"They are in the library. I have Ms. Quill holding on to them."

Luna had to think about the name a moment; at first, it didn't register. She could never figure out how her sister was able to remember all the staff and guards' names with everything else going on. The only names she knew were Celestia's prized pupil and her friends.

Celestia, half expecting the dull facial expression from her sister, continued, "The librarian."

The candle in Luna's head lit up bright for a moment, then a gust of wind blew over the flame and extinguishing it.

"We have a librarian?"

"Why yes sister, have you never noticed her before?"

Luna continued to stand next to her bed, trying to remember anything about a librarian in the royal library. The numerous times she had entered that room, there was never a soul there. Or, she had just never heard anypony in there. Luna made another mental note to check on this.

Celestia, happy that she had done her duty, turned to leave as the guards exited the room ahead of her.

"Don't work too late again, dear sister. You promised me last night you would raise the moon and lower the sun for me tonight, since I'm attending a bachelorette party for a very close dragon friend of mine."

Luna blinked, "Oh, right, will do!"

Luna simply nodded as well as the two royal guards and her sister exited her room. The heavy wood doors slowly creaked to a close, and a loud latch was heard echoing throughout her monstrous bedroom. Luna, happy for how the little endeavor was over, turned back to her bed and stared at the two pink socks laying flat on her sheets.

With a thought of her magic, the two socks neatly folded themselves, were hovered and placed back into the box, and the lid replaced. Picking up the box, she carried it into her walk-in closet. As she opened the door, a simple light bulb came on as her eyes adjusted to its brightness. This was the only electric bulb in her entire bedroom; only for the fact when it came to remodeling the room for her arrival, the workers forgot to take this one light out.

Lucky for Luna, it served a very good purpose, immediately when she walked in, the light would come on. And once she left, it would turn off. Her sister had mentioned something about "motion technology", but also added it was more recent technology. In her studies, Luna was still only on the 500's years of the Sun Princess's rule. She still used candles for light, her abacus "Abby" for calculations, and a good book to entertain herself.

Letting her mind wander more, she set down the dark blue box onto a shelf, along with other formal attire. Inside the closet spanned gown upon gown, one for any occasion that could arise. Still, something about this gift from her sister had left Luna with a bad feeling in her stomach. She couldn't put a hoof on it, but when she first saw the socks she thought she could feel another presence. Though it could have just been her stressed out from the past few days.

The moon princess stepped out of her closet; the light behind her clicked off as the door closed behind her. Luna walked forward some feet, before stopping in the center of her room; she looked around, just studying her surroundings. It was still somewhat difficult for her to fully adjust herself back to a normal furnished bedroom after spending so much time with nothing.

What finally brought Luna back from her thoughts was the "Playmare" magazine laying on the floor; Celestia had forgotten to take it with her.

"Or did she?"

Luna, using her magic, raised the colored book to her muzzle, and studied it longer. On the cover was a yellow Earth stallion, sitting provocatively and looking towards Luna. Cautiously, Luna began to open the magazine as her heart raced inside her chest. She opened it to a random page; her face turning red in an instant as she gawked at the image before her.

"Oh my..."

She hastily closed it and dropped it back onto the floor.

"R-right, back to work then."

Hastily Luna gathered up the massive paper stack with her magic and began to leave her room. Walking by her vanity, she quickly combed her horrible bed mane and continued on. She could still see her face blushed, and did her best to calm herself. She also cursed at herself under her breath, due to curiosity getting the best of her once again. As her double doors swung open, one last thing popped into her head.

"Abby!"

Stretching her magic with ease, she grabbed Abby from its crib at the foot of her bed. It hovered to her, and giving it a quick kiss she walked out into the main hallway. Standing there was only one of the guards from before. He stood still, not even looking at the Moon Princess. Luna, out of some sort of curiosity began to look the guard over, until her eyes began to look to his flank and-

Luna quickly shook her head, her cheeks blushed even more as the thoughts began to bloom in her mind.

"Curse my sister, curse my curiosity, curse... my sister again!"

Luna practically dashed down the hallway towards the library, doing her best not to look at any of the male guards, which all of them were.

----------

Princess Celestia slowly walked down the hall, holding another magazine to her face with her magic. She was able to multitask with ease, and walking while reading was nothing compared to some of the things she'd done at once. Looking away briefly, she glanced behind her to make sure the royal guard, Stud Muffin, was still with her. He was keeping himself at full attention while he walked. Each hoof struck the tile floor with a loud CLOP as he kept his focus straight ahead, not even chancing a look at the Sun Princess.

What Celestia didn't notice, before she returned to her magazine, was the sweat running down the stallion's face. With the Sun Princess's sudden need of his "service", accompanied by the suggestive magazine she was reading, Stud Muffin was beyond nervous, his throat dry, and the words of his superior echoing in his mind.

"Now, you all know our duties to the princess (at the time there was only Celestia). Now, there are some, other duties the princess may ask of you that go beyond the guard. Just remember; you cannot ever ever EVER say a word about what happens, no matter how insignificant it is."

A graduated guard standing in line rose his hoof in the air, signaling he had a question.

"Yes, Sergeant..." the unicorn Colonel raised a clipboard to his muzzle, "...Stud Muffin?"

Some of the other graduates let out quiet laughs, as Stud Muffin kept his attention on his superior.

"Yes sir!"

"What is your question Sergeant?"

"Um, what do you mean by 'other' duties?"

The Colonel let out a short laugh, "Sergeant. She's a lone mare that has been pent up in a mountain castle for nearly a thousand years. She's surrounded by literally thousands of stallion guards, most of which with the closest thing to a mare being the hoofs on their legs. There is a reason she has only male guards in the castle... Need I say more?"

If the Colonel could take a picture, he would have. All the eyes of the graduates were larger than saucers as what he said sank in. With a witty grin, he turned around and began to trot away.

"Oh, Muffin. Lets just hope you're not a screamer."

Back to the present, Sargent Stud Muffin tried to keep some distance between he and the royal princess. Though his superior never directly said it, all of the guards knew what he was implying; it scared the manure out of the stallion. Finally, the dreaded moment came when they reached her royal chamber. The massive wood doors stood towering over everything else, with Celestia's cutie mark painted on the doors.

Suddenly, Celestia rolled the magazine up and slapped it against her door. This caused the stallion to jump, something he was trained not to do. But with his mind racing with his superior's words, and a pool of sweat gathering in parts of his golden armor, he couldn't help it.

Then, Celestia turned around and looked Stud Muffin over carefully. The entire time the stallion stood at the most attentive manor he could muster. He couldn't hide, however, the sweat trickling down his face. Celestia lowered her head to meet Muffin's eyes; drawing her muzzle closer to his, not looking away from his blue eyes. Though not his natural eye color, a simple pair of contacts did the trick. Princess Celestia had the straightest face anypony could muster, as she just studied the stallion guard.

"You're not ready yet," finally, she backed off giving the Sergeant some breathing room. She sighed, as she opened her door.

"Thank you Stud Muffin, that will be all."

And with that, she entered her chamber and closed her door. Sergeant Stud Muffin continued to stand in full attention, looking at the Sun Princesse's door in utter shock and confusion at what had just happened.

From inside her chamber, Princess Celestia burst into laughter as she tossed the magazine with the others she had collected. Glancing at her antique grandfather clock, she saw it was only noon; the day was just getting started, and she had plenty of time before the party. With her magic, Celestia brought forth from under her bed a simple cardboard box; on the side, it was labeled "Gags" with black marker. With a devilish grin, she pulled out of the box a fake, rubber garden snake.

"Hm, lets go pay the cook a visit."