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Description

Warning: Longest description ever ahead

Had a pretty rough day yesterday. Matt was gone; he had a little geeky convention thing so he missed school. So I was, of course, overly emotionally distressed (plus I'm on my period). But like, I figured that it was just one day, and I'd get through.

Well, during my lunch, I talked with a friend about jobs and stuff. I mentioned that I hate working probably because I don't like standing for 8 hours at a time, and my body isn't built to do that (I have awful joints from the hips down, which comes from the really terrible arches of my feet). Then I said I still really wanted to draw for a living, and yeah it doesn't make money, but it was really what I loved to do. Then he said "yeah no offense, you're a great artist, but nobody wants to buy wolves." Like, okay, thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Whatever.

Next I had lunch, and my second off period of the day. Another friend came over to talk to me, and we started talking about why I was upset. I told him that I missed Matt, and he wasn't really talking because of his meeting things, and then my friend told me that he was probably just stressed - which is a reasonable assumption. But then he continued to tell me that Matt was stressed because of TSA, because of colleges, because of school. I told him that one of the colleges he was looking at was because of me, and then said friend jumped on me because "everything isn't always about" me, and I'm not Matt's top priority. Then he proceeded to tell me that I was too serious with Matt, that we shouldn't be considering colleges near each other, and that while I had maybe started to think that Matt was the one, that I'm Matt's first girlfriend and he doesn't know what he wants. I was so upset that he was gone, and this "friend" of mine decided that telling me this was the best way to handle this situation.

Fine.

I really lost it when my mom brought home one of her friends, who is the creative director somewhere. She walked in, and asked what I wanted to go into college for. I had this as a WIP up when she came in, so I showed her this. She was like "wow, you're really talented, but you do realize this is a shit field." She then slammed my computer lid down (which erased all of the shading I was practicing with and made me have to start it over), and said "Seriously, that industry is a piece of shit. You shouldn't go to an expensive college because you'll never be able to pay off your loans with a career like that." Well, at this point, I'm thinking 'shit, this is gonna suck', but I tried to hear her out. However, she spent the next hour and a half telling me all the things I do and don't need, contradicting herself in every point she made, saying that "developing a style is dangerous" (which was really insulting, because I've spent the last two years on here trying to develop one, and finally, when I was just starting to be proud of it, some random lady tells me that I'm doing things wrong? Yeah, thanks.), and all this other crap. The night ended with me curled up in a ball, trying to exhibit as much "closed off" body language as I could, and crying. The whole college thing stresses me out because every time I'm closing in on a decision I think is good for me, someone pops in and tells me what I'm doing is wrong, and that whatever I was going to do before would be disastrous. Then the next person says the same thing about the person I just talked to, etc. etc., and it just stresses me out; I have no idea what to do or how to do this.

TL;DR: I had three separate conversations with three different people that insulted me in different ways, and basically made my already-shit day turn into one big steaming pile of self-loathing.

So since Puzzle couldn't be around to comfort Topaz this weekend, Enzo is doing it for him. But before I sign off, I want to make something really clear; Enzo does not represent a real-life person like a lot of my characters do. He is another personification of myself, so when he and Topaz are in pictures together (like this one), it's not a real person comforting me, it's supposed to be like me comforting myself. If that makes any sense at all. This is just how I cope with things, and it might be nice to have a fictional character always around to help when sometimes real people can't be.

Have a good weekend everyone, and if you read all of this, thank you very much

---

Art (c) me

Enzo and Topaz (c) me

Description

Warning: Longest description ever ahead

Had a pretty rough day yesterday. Matt was gone; he had a little geeky convention thing so he missed school. So I was, of course, overly emotionally distressed (plus I'm on my period). But like, I figured that it was just one day, and I'd get through.

Well, during my lunch, I talked with a friend about jobs and stuff. I mentioned that I hate working probably because I don't like standing for 8 hours at a time, and my body isn't built to do that (I have awful joints from the hips down, which comes from the really terrible arches of my feet). Then I said I still really wanted to draw for a living, and yeah it doesn't make money, but it was really what I loved to do. Then he said "yeah no offense, you're a great artist, but nobody wants to buy wolves." Like, okay, thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Whatever.

Next I had lunch, and my second off period of the day. Another friend came over to talk to me, and we started talking about why I was upset. I told him that I missed Matt, and he wasn't really talking because of his meeting things, and then my friend told me that he was probably just stressed - which is a reasonable assumption. But then he continued to tell me that Matt was stressed because of TSA, because of colleges, because of school. I told him that one of the colleges he was looking at was because of me, and then said friend jumped on me because "everything isn't always about" me, and I'm not Matt's top priority. Then he proceeded to tell me that I was too serious with Matt, that we shouldn't be considering colleges near each other, and that while I had maybe started to think that Matt was the one, that I'm Matt's first girlfriend and he doesn't know what he wants. I was so upset that he was gone, and this "friend" of mine decided that telling me this was the best way to handle this situation.

Fine.

I really lost it when my mom brought home one of her friends, who is the creative director somewhere. She walked in, and asked what I wanted to go into college for. I had this as a WIP up when she came in, so I showed her this. She was like "wow, you're really talented, but you do realize this is a shit field." She then slammed my computer lid down (which erased all of the shading I was practicing with and made me have to start it over), and said "Seriously, that industry is a piece of shit. You shouldn't go to an expensive college because you'll never be able to pay off your loans with a career like that." Well, at this point, I'm thinking 'shit, this is gonna suck', but I tried to hear her out. However, she spent the next hour and a half telling me all the things I do and don't need, contradicting herself in every point she made, saying that "developing a style is dangerous" (which was really insulting, because I've spent the last two years on here trying to develop one, and finally, when I was just starting to be proud of it, some random lady tells me that I'm doing things wrong? Yeah, thanks.), and all this other crap. The night ended with me curled up in a ball, trying to exhibit as much "closed off" body language as I could, and crying. The whole college thing stresses me out because every time I'm closing in on a decision I think is good for me, someone pops in and tells me what I'm doing is wrong, and that whatever I was going to do before would be disastrous. Then the next person says the same thing about the person I just talked to, etc. etc., and it just stresses me out; I have no idea what to do or how to do this.

TL;DR: I had three separate conversations with three different people that insulted me in different ways, and basically made my already-shit day turn into one big steaming pile of self-loathing.

So since Puzzle couldn't be around to comfort Topaz this weekend, Enzo is doing it for him. But before I sign off, I want to make something really clear; Enzo does not represent a real-life person like a lot of my characters do. He is another personification of myself, so when he and Topaz are in pictures together (like this one), it's not a real person comforting me, it's supposed to be like me comforting myself. If that makes any sense at all. This is just how I cope with things, and it might be nice to have a fictional character always around to help when sometimes real people can't be.

Have a good weekend everyone, and if you read all of this, thank you very much

---

Art (c) me

Enzo and Topaz (c) me