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Published: 2011-07-19 18:22:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 8180; Favourites: 307; Downloads: 175
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PAGE ONEYou look at a huge door. The princess is inside, waiting to be rescued. The glowing fairy fluttering around your head tells you 'The door is locked! You need the dragon key to open the door!'
You look around.
If you venture west, turn to page two.
If you explore east, turn to page ten.
PAGE TWO
You encounter a goblin.
You hit it for 6HP.
He hits you for 2HP.
You hit it for 6HP.
The goblin disappears in a puff of smoke.
The fairy shouts 'HEY! LISTEN!' in a shrill voice.
To listen, turn to page five.
To ignore her and continue your quest, turn to page three.
PAGE THREE
You encounter a bird.
You swing at it with your sword and miss.
It hits you for 4HP.
You miss again.
You dodge its attack as you begin to make sense of its bizarre movement pattern.
You hit it for 5HP.
It disappears in a puff of smoke.
You levelled up!
The fairy shouts 'HEY! LISTEN!' in a shrill voice.
To listen, turn to page five.
To ignore her and continue your quest, turn to page four.
PAGE FOUR
You find an old cave.
The fairy shouts 'DO A BARREL ROLL!'
To enter the cave, turn to page seven.
To deal with the fairy, turn to page six.
PAGE FIVE
The fairy says 'You need the dragon key!'
Return to page two.
PAGE SIX
You crush the fairy in your fist.
Turn to page seven.
PAGE SEVEN
An old man sits in the cave. He offers you a sword.
'It's dangerous to go alone!'
You look at the sword you already have. It's just as pointy as this other sword. There is no logical reason the new one would somehow do more damage to an enemy. The old man tells you it has a base attack of 12. You don't know what that means.
To take the new sword anyway, turn to page eight.
To refuse the new sword, turn to page nine.
PAGE EIGHT
Hey, two swords right? Why not? You see a goblin and decide to give a little demonstration of your dual-wielding skills.
You flail spasmodically and miss the goblin.
The goblin looks at you disdainfully.
You attack and do 15 damage to your own arm. It falls off.
You are dead.
To retry, turn to page one.
PAGE NINE
You start throwing a boomerang repeatedly at the old man's face and he's just sitting there doing nothing! You show your friend.
'Hnar. Cool.'
You return to the dungeon where the princess is being held. You still don't have the dragon key.
Turn to page one.
PAGE TEN
You are eaten by a grue.
To retry, turn to page one.
PAGE ELEVEN
You kick the fucking door down, because you don't need no fucking key. You make your own rules.
As you make out with the princess, you think about all the losers in the world who do what they're told and never ask why. Good thing you're not one of them!
You ride off with the hot princess on your awesome Harley.
Turn to whatever fucking page you like, who gives a damn.
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Comments: 141
Ha ha! I love the attitude change on the last page.
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Awesome! I came to check this out for today's challenge, and I must I enjoyed reading this! It was fun! XD You sure did Excellent work!
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Oh gosh. I know this is old but what a load of fun I had with this one. I love interactive stories, but they can sometimes be tiresome. This one was obviously a handful of laughs and awesomesauce.
You may have missed this: "it's bizarre movement" should be with "its" instead.
The game quest theme makes it doubly interesting, and I do think the flash fiction format worked to the story's advantage since the sentences are choppy and simple. You waste no words, so the reader's attention is continuously engaged. I also like how odd elements such as a boomerang and a Harley suddenly pop out toward the end, increasingly showing how the story is intended to be absurd.
This is fun and all, but I also appreciate how you actually get a message across. Such as: Sometimes your conscience is an overly cautious bitch, too much of a good thing is a bad thing, challenge the system, etc.
I may have overanalyzed this thing, so sorry about that. Thank you for creating this work of pure entertainment. You're amazing.
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Thank you! If I remember correctly the choppy sentences are mostly because I had to cram it into a low wordcount, but yeah, it's also meant to evoke the sparse phrasing of old games.
I used to have a huge problem with it's/its, I've got the hang of it over the past few years but it's rife in my old work. I'm actually kind of surprised I got through like twenty something years of my life without ever finding out the possessive its has no apostrophe. I call them impostrophes.
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This is plain awesome and fun. 
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Thank you! Sorry for the incredibly late reply
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Thank you! (He said, two months later. Sorry!)
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You're welcome! (It's no problem. 
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This reminds me of the Legend of Zelda: Oot (especially the "hey listen" part)
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Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… Congratulations on your DD!
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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is it already added for deviantart allow us to make "choose your own advanture" and scatter them in r gallery so the readers can't skip to other chapters avoiding the action of looking for what chapter's not to end up in. like make one or two page story for each chapter and then place ur story in random folders in ur gallery, therefore making more interesting.
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I actually felt bad at first for reading straight, but then I hit the end and laughed my ass off.
You're brilliant. |D
(On another note, thanks for letting us crush the fairy. God I hate those things.)
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No problem, I figured everyone could use the opportunity to work out their fairy-related stress
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I like it, 
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I was frustrated until I got to the last page. AHAHA
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Ha! That was funny.
I actually went though and read all the possibilities. Very funny, and clever, on what you did on the best ending possible. Wish I saw "You have to break the rules to win" sooner. XD
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lmfao that may have been the greatest thing I have ever read in the history of everything ever XD
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Oh my gosh. I love this.
Zelda references... <3
It was a lot of fun reading. Thank you : )
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no problem, thanks for stopping by!
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Everything was cool until I cut off my own arm.
I had a -___- moment, then I turned to the last page.
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Hahaha 
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First try and I won. xD I feel rebellious.
The message to this is a good one. Don't be a sheep. Question the rules and understand them.
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i spent the time looking for eleven. i thought my eyes were fooling me.
laziness kicked in.
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This is awesome! Page six made me laugh. xD Just brilliant.
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Windwaker's actually my favourite by far, but other than that I'd take old Zelda over its sequels any day of the week
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This was me- I'VE TRIED EVERY WAY POSSIBLE! RAAAAAGGGGEEEEEEE! YOU KNOW WHAT? IM JUST GOING TO TURN TO THE LAST PAGE ANYWAY! SCREW YOU!.....oh. I've just been owned.
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haha I love the idea that I am owning people from my sofa via something I wrote a year ago. Delicious
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It was perfect. I laughed so hard.
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