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Jandruff — When We First Met
Published: 2007-11-13 17:41:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 8953; Favourites: 217; Downloads: 199
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Another Velveteen Rabbit illustration for my Vis Dev class. I was struggling with this one, since it is a style I haven't worked with a lot until now.My teacher felt that the rabbit in the picture didn't look like it was being neglected as that is a major story point that I am trying to convey, and so far I haven't been able to come up with a clear solution as to how to make that work. I don't want it just to be a cute picture, I want it to make some impact on the viewer. So anyone!! PLEASE give me suggestions.
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Comments: 55
You have been featured
and don't forget to fav the news article so that it gets popular and more people will be able to see your work.
Cheers,
Rorke
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Aww man, velvatine rabbit made me cry so hard when I was little! These pictures are fantastic ^.^
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Maybe put some life-like qualities to the rabbit. Tears, speech bubble, or a thought.
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I beg to differ with your teacher, but the first impression I got was that the poor rabbit was left alone and being ignored.
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There's always the option of having someone stepping.sitting, with a knee on the rabbit with it being smooshed while they look at something else with more interest.
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Knowing the story of the velveteen rabbit, I clearly see the neglect. I find this story heart wrenching, and sad...Lovely work though.
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maybe you could show the kid throwing the velveteen rabbit to the side while eagerly reaching into another present...? just an idea.
in any case, this is some REALLY great work. i think u r one of the best artists on DA.
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a few other people have said this, but i think that more warm light where the rabbit is not - on the boy and his mother, the trees, the other presents - would make it a little more clear.
it's a great picture though, makes me want to hug the rabbit.
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Not to say that I dont like this page, but I have to tell you I feel like it is lacking, it doesnt have the same paint style as the other too, this one seems like its more a cell shaded thing. which kinda throws it off from the other two.
as for the rabbit the only thing I can really think of is making it look more like it was thrown into the box without care and also the other thing that comes to mind is that there should be wrapping paper (you know the stuff that goes inside of a box) with him that it can be sorta coloring he's had a little so that it looks more like he was picked up and it was a "oh.." and dropped back down into the box. I understand where your teacher is coming. but I think unless he was more in the background (which would mostly throw the picture of) or somehow more hidden (like the paper idea) it would make him less of a focus of the picture - which is what i think your idea is talking about.
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This has impact for me. It does look neglected, I have to reach out and hug it so it won't be.
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i don't know what you're teacher is talking about - i definately see the bunny being neglected. its resting on its face half-hazardly thrown into an opened present box.. the only way you could show it more is if the bunny was placed in a corner.. but that would make it no longer the subject, i think its perfect the way it is.
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My very first thought was that the toy rabbit had been thrown aside and forgotten, so I don't know what your teacher was talking about.
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I think it does look like it was abandonned, maybe some slight blueing as previously suggested? 
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The rabbit should have less warm light(maybe change the box to a cold, cold blue color to contrast the warmth with coolness) upon him. It gives him too much of an accepted appeal to him...
That's what I suggest! Other than that, this is brilliant!
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This is soooo cute.
I agree with your teacher though 0 maybe if you infuse the lower section with 'blue' colours, like a blue tint?
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Wow, this certainly has a cinematic feel thanks to the overall composition. The style here is superb.
Hmm... about the rabbit, perhaps the box the rabbit is in should be tipped over or something in such a manner that the rabbit is lying in the box and on the floor. I know that what I just said a a bit demanding of you and would require changing a significant portion of the picture a bit...
Anyways, good luck in the process.
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if there were more boxes behind the rabbit for the kid to open. boxes that take all of the warm light of the fire for them selves and leave the poor rabbit in a dark and cold gloom.
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I would suggest having the other toy that the child is focusing on in the box kind of peeking out to help make it seem like the child is ignoring the velveteen rabbit for another toy?
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maybe you could try a different angle looking up at the scene from off the floor but with the same colors or lighting. the rabbit sprawled on the floor alone in the foreground and the boy, his mom and the tree in the background surrounded by gifts and warm firelight.
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I get the impression of neglect, but maybe it's just me. Anyway, I -love- this oh my god. The lighting is gorgeous, and I love the simple expressions/characters, and the perspective is so dynamic and interesting! (In fact, I think that's what helps to give the impression of neglect to me, beacuse the rabbit is so close to the viewer while the rest of the image is more exaggerated, so it creates a little disjunct. I wish I could think of a way to offer some suggestion ... Maybe if the color of the rabbit wasn't so in tune with the rest of the image? Have you tried desaturating it a bit or something similar?)
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I really love this drawings.You improve in your skills everytime and while drawing isn't my field I look up to your drawing style.
I think there is nothing I can critique about the drawing.Its fantastic as it is in my opinion,that and its 2:42AM here.Is the drawing suppose to symbolize Materialism?That the kid liked an item of better value instead of the bunny.I like the shadow around the Bunny as it gives me the impression that the bunny will not be used ever again.
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increase the depth + play around with the lighting in this picture. perhaps a more dramatic effect between light and dark?
but really, this picture is just wonderful!
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jealousy, perhaps? by that i mean, maybe have the boy hold up his new toy beaming with pride and admiration with everything else the same,
or maybe just have the boy in the family picture hugging the rabbit to contrast this scene where he's chasing after something new.
good luck, and for someone who doesn't normally work in this style, i think you got it down pretty well!
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Maybe you can move the boy more towards the center. I can see the mother's legs being more towards the right, as well. Perhaps have the boy lifting some great toy out of the present box, and putting a lot of bright highlights on that? If you did change the picture so that the boy is lifting something out of the present box, perhaps have the toy oriented more towards the right to draw attention away from/create space between it and the rabbit in the lower left corner.
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very awesome! and completely different from the other painterly one!
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A really wonderful job on this illustration, Janet-chan. Maybe try to lighten the coloring of the stuffed velveteen rabbit as well as move it a bit more to the far left (my left)?
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I loved The Velveteen Rabbit! It was like my favourite book.
I think the bunny looks neglected.
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i like the stylization on the boys face though parts of the image do seem rushed. i always have a hard time explaining this, so bear with me.
when you have the main focuses of an image drawn neatly then the rest of the image isn't rendered as well it may come off as looking a little sloppy. instead of the differentiation saying "these are the main characters and the rest isn't really as important" it's saying "i just didn't feel like finishing it all so i rushed it near the end".
right now, the rabbit doesn't look neglected or looked over bc there are no other toys to compare him to. if the boy were holding a firetruck/robot/laser gun or something mechanical with flashing lights then the viewer can make the connection and say that the boy has no interest in the stuffed toy. it might also be a good idea to fill the entire foreground with "baby"-type toys that boys at that age don't find interesting. that may be tricky because you have to find a way to do it while still highlighting that the rabbit is the main focus among the clutter. maybe if they were smaller or all the same shade of whatever color you chose to use.
the placement of the rabbit may throw some people off. since he's still in a box and the wrapping around the box is in tact, some people may believe the boy simple hasn't seen the rabbit at all yet. that or it's a toy he already owns which has simply been misplaced. if he were laying in a dinner chair in the foreground rather than still in a box i think the idea behind the image would be clearer. if the rabbit were in an awkward position to make the viewer think that he was tossed there, then that might also help. like for example, if he were almost falling off the chair upside down with it's legs and arms going every which way i'd think that he wasn't purposely placed in that position. i don't like the idea of tossing motions coming from the boy, i think it was a good call for you not to do that. even though the image is styled as a cartoon, there's nothing really cartoony or comical about the scene or the story. the two things wouldn't have worked well together.
the rabbit's brown/dark coloring also looks a little dirty and since the rabbit is brand new at this point that could also confuse people.
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Thanks, galy, your critique has been super helpful. Now that you mention it, I do realize I've been lazy with other areas of the picture. Much appreciation!
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OMG! And on the picture on the wall, have the girl holding the rabbit when it was all new and stuff!
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the rabbit is new.
this is the beginning of the story if i'm not wrong
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First off, I think this style is really fantastic, and would go great with the way you already work. its awesome! So go your struggle, go go go. As far as making the rabbit look more discarded...well by placing him in the box, he almost looks like he's still in the christmas scene, she's just not playing with him right NOW. I would maybe place him near or in the discarded present wrappings and torn up stuff, and maybe have her lifting another toy/doll out of the box, one that looks really nice and new. I really enjoy how he is in the foreground and she in the back...nith composition..I like how he's somwhat in the dark while she's in the light, maybe you could play that up??
Awesome picture either way! Aggghh man fuck you!! This style is really exciting. XD
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With the title I was looking for who met whom for the first time. I thought that the mother and child where probably not new to each other, so I thought that in fact the child had gotten the rabbit as a new toy but only not discovered it at this moment. But then the rabbit looked rather dishevelled or even evil, so I thought that I was wrong. I don't understand the title to this image.
To make the rabbit seem neglected, it should not lie on or in a present box, as if it was a present, but on the ground, apart from the merriment, and in a position as if it had been thrown away: face down, maybe, and with the arms, legs and ears not straight but everywhichway.
Distance and pose.
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I think definitely add more cool tones to the bunny and surrounding the bunny, and probably put more focus on the bunny itself by moving to the center of the composition. You can also sorta move the bunny further away from the center of the composition, sorta isolating it even further while still putting it in the foreground. I think I can totally get the message that it's neglected, though, but it could be clearer. I love the solid coloring you got in this
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that part was so sad i cant even think about something to tell you because i'd start crying ;__;
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Well, I guess if you wanted to make the rabbit look neglected you could have her making the toss back motion with her hands, add a little more movement to the bunny to make it look like it was being thrown.
Umm, hmm.. I'd also put it in the family portrait so that the attentive viewer picks up on the involvement of the rabbit in the girls life, and questions why she is throwing it away. ^_^
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Maybe make the rabbit look more worn out? Like have a loose button and or broken stitches...
I also like =kellisanth's wrappingpaper idea... if someone unfamiliar with the story were to look at this they'd be confused due to the fact that he's on the box makes him look like a new toy.
I don't think you should move him away from the fire. I think it's a subtle ominious hint of what is to come.
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Oh and I don't know if this'll clutter up the whole picture... but maybe add in some lights to the Christmas tree? More sparkle and glow around the kid could strengthen the contrast between his old rabbit and new toys.
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YOUR TEACHER IS WRONG!!!
Ha ha! Feels good to say that, huh? That's what i immediately felt... the separation is already there (for me).
however, teachers are your first "clients," so you either argue the point, or you try to make a change without compromising your original vision...
a spiral of wrapping bow curled over the head and dangling should convey something overlooked...
another indication of a box between the rabbit and the boy
will show
more
separation...
btw, great illustrative style, looks like you've been doing this one your entire life...
...still the SADDEST book ever!
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... forgot to remind you that trying "little" changes first, saves you the hassle of "re-draw," which always compromises the natural balance of the original...
okay...
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I agree with ~AkuleArt , it's probably better to move him away from the warmth of the fire, maybe make the rabbit look like it was tossed away somewhere after the child finds that she has more (and "better") presents. You can even have half of it hanging carelessly out of its present box, or lying on the floor kind of haphazardly...
Otherwise, though, this is great, I love the colors and the lighting from the fire 
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I love Jandruff art.
But I like the idea of the wrapping kind of being thrown a bit over him. or having piles of other presents and st00f. I like it so far though.
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Yeah, I might play with that... thanks!
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I think maybe if the rabbit was alot further away from the child, and that the rabbit was in the foreground in a shadowed area, while in the background a little further away in the warm light from the fire the kids getting out all the other toys. I recon the big space between them would make it seem more neglected. Mebe? Hope I helped ye
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