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“Hello master, are you alone? Can you talk?” she asked quickly. She knew the gunship was waiting for her, but she needed to talk to him now. She wasn’t sure why it felt so urgent it couldn’t at least wait until she got to the ground.
“Are you okay, Snips?” he asked as soon as he answered. If she wasn’t so nervous, she might have smiled at his concern. “Where’s Maul?” Or he just hadn’t been sure she’d be able to get him alone...
She crouched down, trying to balance on the rafter beam and studied him. “We got him, he’s in custody but... he said some things...” she trailed off. The things Maul had said were bothering her far more than she could admit. She believed in Anakin; she had no doubts about his loyalty. It was just... she tried to shake it off hoping her master would put her at ease about it and life could start going back to normal. If that was even possible at this point.
“What about?” Was it her imagination or did Anakin look more tired than normal? There was a heaviness on his shoulders now he hadn’t had the last time she’d seen him. Was that from killing Dooku, or something else? She hated that she was about to add to it.
“You,” she whispered, looking down. She’d felt his surprise, she didn’t blame him. Maul’s obsession has always been with Master Kenobi, why would he ever mention Anakin? And that was part of why it was bothering her so much. For him to suddenly switch targets. To orchestrate all of this just to target someone who had hardly ever been a spec on his radar? Chosen one or not...
“Me? Why me?” Anakin asked, furrowing his brows and crossing his arms.
She took a deep breath, hoping she could communicate the racing thoughts in her brain. “He claimed he had a vision, that Darth Sidious has been grooming you from the beginning to become his new apprentice. I don’t want to believe it, but... he was so sure...” She rolled her lips nervously, waiting for the backlash she was sure to get for even suggesting she might actually have believed what Maul thought was possible. Something she should know was impossible.
“Come on, Snips, you really think I’d join the Sith?” Anakin scoffed, running his fingers through his hair before crossing his arms again.
“No, of course not,” she said quickly. “You’re right. It’s just...” saying it out loud made her feel foolish. How many times had he told her to keep those worries to herself, or bury them and focus on her duties? No, she didn’t think he’d willingly join the Sith, but she did thing he could be persuaded under the right conditions. She swallowed the guilt at that thought; she had the utmost faith in him, but she also knew... well... when people he loved were in danger, he didn’t always make the best decisions. And what if he got tricked into doing something?
“What?” he sighed.
“He said you were the key,” she blinked up at him. “I thought he was talking about the prophecy, you know? That you’re supposed to bring balance to the force. But no, he said you were supposed to destroy... everything.”
“It’s just the rantings of a lunatic, Ahsoka. Don’t let it get to you,” Anakin said dismissively. “You know what I’ve taught you; they want us to falter, they try to get under our skin. They make us doubt ourselves and what we stand for.”
“I know.” She sighed, looking down, staring blankly at the broken beam. He was right, of course. It was possible Maul could be messing with her head. But Anakin hadn’t heard the intention behind his words or the way he’d said them. He hadn’t felt what she had. And whether she wanted to believe it or not was irrelevant, because she did believe it. Not that he’d turn of course, but that he could be used or be walking into a trap. “But if it’s possible Sidious has somehow been influencing you or things related to you... then likely he knows that you’re not like the other Jedi.
“What do you mean by that?” She felt him bristle and cringed a little. Just what she needed, putting him on the defensive so he was no longer listening.
“That, you know, things matter to you. People... matter to you,” she tried to explain. “What if he uses us to get to you?”
“Have a little faith in me!” he said in exasperation.
“You know I do!” She brought her hand up to her face and leaned on it. This conversation wasn’t going at all like she hoped, and she’d much rather be having it in person rather than balancing alone in the rafters where her thudding heart drowned out the war below. “I’m just, scared, I guess,” she admitted. “This war has gone on so long. It gets more terrible every day. When will it stop? What will it cost us to end it? I know I let you down by leaving, but... you still matter to me. I still care and... if what Maul said is true, I don’t want to lose you. But more importantly, I don’t want you to lose yourself trying to protect everyone.” She looked up at him worriedly. There was so much more she needed to say but knew this wasn’t the time.
“And what do you want me to do if that happens?” he asked, but it sounded defeated, like he was just humoring her now and clearly didn’t believe anything she said.
“I won’t ask you to let us go, but please don’t give in. Promise me you won’t give in.” She had no idea why this was suddenly such a big deal. Why she needed to hear him say it even if he wasn’t convinced that there was good reason to be concerned.
“Well that’s an easy promise to keep.” He rolled his eyes.
“Just say the words,” she insisted. “Please!”
“It’s that important to you?” He looked appropriately confused. She probably would be confused too, but yes it was this important and whether she deserved the promise or not, she needed it anyways.
“Yes.”
He studied her for a few minutes, like he could see right through her. The longer he didn’t speak though, the more she felt the emotions rising to the surface. She already felt the tears welling in her eyes. She should be grateful he was talking to her at all. She knew Obi Wan or the council wouldn’t be happy about her distracting him or interrupting his special mission. “Okay, I’m sorry. All joking aside, I promise.”
“Thank you.” She tried to give him a smile, though she doubted she was successful. He really had no reason to care about her, or even put up with her insecurities anymore. She should have thanked him more. Or apologized for letting him down. “Anakin?” she whispered before he could shut off the call. “I’m uh... I’m sorry.”
“For what, Snips?” He asked in surprise. What wasn’t she sorry about anymore?
“That I never told you why I couldn’t stay. That I failed you. I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to run away, trying to escape what I thought I was becoming. But I wasn’t able to, I guess. I may not be a Jedi anymore, but you’re still my friend and I’m sorry I closed you out,” she rambled a bit more than she meant to. It was just that as it started coming out, she thought of more to be sorry for. “Thank you, for always being there for me. I don’t think I ever appreciated it enough.” The tears almost did slip down her cheeks this time and she quickly wiped her eyes. “I promise if you ever need me, I’ll be there.”
“I know you will.” She heard someone talking in the background as though they’d just stuck their head in the room. Though it was muffled, and she couldn’t make out what they said or who was speaking. “Uh, I have to go. Be careful, and don’t let Maul slip through your fingers!” And just like that, the call ended.
She dropped her shoulders and sighed. Even if he was right and nothing Maul said meant anything, she was glad she told him. So much of it had been long overdue. But if it was true... at least he had a warning now. She hoped it was enough. As long as she wasn’t too late...