Comments: 21
AskTheGreySkull [2015-01-24 19:33:44 +0000 UTC]
I have waifu who has breasts in similiar size, ms. Nowan.
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Mariodeblob41 [2013-10-16 21:02:41 +0000 UTC]
How do you feel about now being able to mega-evolve? :3
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IndigoMystiere In reply to Mariodeblob41 [2013-10-19 16:41:10 +0000 UTC]
You mean the Mega Gardevoir? Honestly, I hate the new dress.
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CreepinOn [2013-10-10 20:49:02 +0000 UTC]
Hey c>
Saw your app in the Circus Darkrai tag and thought since there's still a little time before the group opens again I'd give your character a critique to increase her chances of entering.
I guess I'll start with the written portion since that's what the mods usually judge more heavily on c>
First off her history is a little over dramatic. Circus Darkrai is indeed a dark group, but the fact that she was sold to a wealthy family to work seemingly by herself in a factory and go unnoticed is far fetched even for this group. Not only that but she was hearing a 'darker calling' as if being controled or infuenced by Mr. Dark, which from what I've read about him cannot make influences on people he's never met. It's hard to believe that she'd be specifically targeted and made to burn down the whole place and the family that owned her unless she had developed some acute form of Schizophrenia during her time working and kind of went of the deep end. In that case a little more information regarding how she got to that point would be needed for clarity. Having her try and come back home is definitely reasonable and to be shocked and hurt to learn that her family willingly sold her are also justifiable. But seeing as it was Mr. Dark influencing her and telling her to burn these people and buildings is just really over the top and unnecessary.
Secondly, I don't think Mr. Dark can mess with people he's never met. You never mentioned Nowan going to the circus, meeting a tall strange man or even seeing him so it doesn't seem realistic that he'd be able to do anything with her or to her unless he knew her. There isn't enough information to confirm this, so it just seems really unbelievable. Maybe if she had gone to the circus previously before being sold and met him, something could have happened that made him want to mess with her life. Other than that, just haveing him make her burn down things makes little sense other than to make her history darker than it probably needs to be. She's already been sold, sufferend from depression and separation issues, I think she's had enough trauma XD
As for her personality, having her be fearless and unafraid of challenges is a nice change from the 'shy wall flower' that I've seen in a few other apps. She seems to be the confident type that popped up around the 1920's who were not afraid to show a little skin, and that's good but just keep in mind that the outfits need to be practical when it comes to occupation. The only part that I'm having trouble getting past is the 'she hates heat so she runs around in skimpy/revealing/thin outfits. This is a circus, not a Vegas strip show. I'd suggest having her preferring to wear Flapper dresses since they'd be common and easy to find during the Circus's time during the Spring and Summer months.
Nowan's design is a little plain. She's got a blue dress with frills and a low cut V neck, not really something that'd stick out in a crowd or on stage. I know MS paint can be a pain in the arse, but it can be done. The app I did for my character, Willow, was all done in Ms Paint, it just takes a little more effort. The other thing is her breast size, it just doesn't match her body size. I know anatomy is the bane of existence to every artist but toning down the cup size would even out her stature and make her look more believable in design c>
I hope this helps, and good luck in the opening~!
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IndigoMystiere In reply to CreepinOn [2013-10-11 04:13:04 +0000 UTC]
Oh dear, I have already sent my registry and app! But thanks so much for your help, I really appreciate it and will use your ideas if my entry is to be denied.
I have read the stories about how the other characters at the circus were 'found' by Mr. Dark and figured tat he was this kind of 'entity' who goes about seeking poor suffering souls to make deals with. And the way his deals tend to go bad for his employees-slash-victims gave me the impression that he is manipulating them even before they knew of his existence, something which is quite common in stories regarding people making deals with their souls as payment. I based Nowan's meeting with Mr. Dark on that impression. Or he could have seen Nowan while visiting the factory where she was forced to work in while looking for something for his travelling circus (train parts, props, etc.).
I wanted to give a greater reason Nowan's strong character, which is why I created such a torturous childhood and background history for her.
Her dress was based on a flamenco dancer's dress which I find very lovely. The Flapper dresses do look nice, however. Perhaps I will make her wear that next time.
As for her breast size... NOOOO! That is her trademark! That is my trademark! But I understand that the group has rules regarding over-sexualised art so I will *sniff* shrink her breasts by half next time.
Shocking how the Bob and Eton Crop hairstyles fit her perfectly.
Again, thanks for your helpful comment and for the very useful 1920s fashion links.
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CreepinOn In reply to IndigoMystiere [2013-10-11 04:26:01 +0000 UTC]
Hey no problem c> I'm only sad that it was a little too late to make any changes by the time it was registering period XD
Like I said, having him see/meet her sometime before would make the story a little more believable. Maybe going into detail of what kind of factory she worked in could set up a good reason for her to catch his attention.
That is totally understandable but having to deal with the fact that she killed her parents and the only people who 'knew' of her existence still should have some effect on her. Having to maybe hide that little weakness under all her assertivness could add some extra depth to her personality c>
I know her having big breasts is kinda a thing once I looked through your gallery a bit but yeah, this group isn't too keen on having over-sexualized characters |D
Well it was a popular thing back then, so I think it's a lovely coincidence for her c>
And again, I'm happy to help <3
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IndigoMystiere In reply to CreepinOn [2013-10-11 10:16:51 +0000 UTC]
I created a new one. indigomystiere.deviantart.com/…
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Demonshark151 [2013-10-02 21:00:17 +0000 UTC]
You made the app after all! : D Awesome~ ^^
And I feel really really bad about this, but I got the dates mixed up.
They actually won't be kicking anyone out until 10 days after the opening. BUT, they are usually open for receiving apps for a week. So that knocks out the first 7 days, plus they don't make the final decisions until a few days afterwards. So the current Gardevoir will be kicked out at the same time (if not before) the final decisions are made. So if you explain that in your join request, they should consider your app~ ^^
Again, sorry about mixing the dates up...
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IndigoMystiere In reply to Demonshark151 [2013-10-03 06:38:04 +0000 UTC]
Oh, thanks for telling me, dear. My only problem now is that I cannot seem to find the "secret passwords" no matter how many times I read through the blogs. Can you give me some hints to finding them via Note, at least.
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IndigoMystiere In reply to Demonshark151 [2013-10-11 10:20:00 +0000 UTC]
I believe that this member application is wrongly made so I have created a new one (in case the first is declined).
indigomystiere.deviantart.com/…
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