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Bonaxor — MLP: FIM Rising Darkness page 2
Published: 2011-12-31 10:41:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 65524; Favourites: 305; Downloads: 618
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Description
Part 1 -[link]Part 2 - its here
Part 3 - [link]
Next parts - when they are ready
Part 4 and 5 [link]
Part 6 [link]
Page 7 [link]
Page 8 [link]
Page 9 [link]
Page 10 [link]
Page 11 [link]
Page 12 [link]
Page 13 [link]
Page 14 [link]
Page 15 [link]
Page 16 [link]
Page 17 [link]
Page 18-19 [link]
Second page of my comic.
There is but a one easter egg on it. If you seen my previous works you will be able to find it.
This page was originally painted in GIMP then I used SAI to repaint it. And it looks way better.
Hope you like it and as always BIG HUG FROM LUNA AND ME FOR EVERYONE WHO FAV IT
MLP: FIM belongs to Hasbro
Comic and story is mine
Related content
Comments: 48
Let me start by saying that I like the colours used here. The soft brush strokes and mostly pastel colour scheme lend nicely to each other and are easy to look at. The one problem with this is that the blacks and other deep/vibrant colours clash with the others.
The drawing is decent. While it's quite clear your still learning, all of the essentials are there and it's clear you've put some thought into it. my biggest issue is in panel 5, where Celestia's coat is clearly visible outside her outline. Remember to use multiple layers on your drawing program and chip away at the excess colour with the eraser tool once you draw the outline.
When it comes to grammar, I'm willing to bet you speak polish more than english. Although the dialogue is read-able there are many small errors in the text (ill is used instead of I'll for example.).
The pacing of this comic is nice. Many artists forget that the panels need to breath, and I think that spreading Celestia's possession over 4 panels was a good choice. The comic itself seems to be a little heavy on the right side because of the thick pannel lines and additional panels on the right side, but that is a minor complaint at worst.
My one real problem with this is the text. I could barely read the text in panel 4 because the white dialogue was set on a cream background. The only thing that achieves is giving me a headache. Please choose either white or black, stick with it, and either place the text on a contrasting backdrop or use a text box.
This piece is not bad in the slightest. I can tell you put a fair bit of effort into it and I'll love to see more. The only reason I gave you a sub-par technical score if because of your grammar and confusing text, which can be improved with practice and better placement/colour of text. I don't want to mark originality because this is a fan comic and it would be unfair, but I have to put a mark in so just ignore it.
Good job and keep it up.
silverd4
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PLZ m8 see next parts (especially 4,5,6) where i improved my style ok? Tell me then if you like them or not. Its important to me.
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XD I can almost see a woman in this picture. It looks like I can see the main antagonist of Super Mystery Dungeon. The style looks like a girl.
Celestia must save herself.
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Oh no celestia! first it hurts Luna now her? thats gone way to far!
👍: 1 ⏩: 0
Nightmare, your a bitch, so I dont give a single fuck about you(I still love the comic though)
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to take over something and control it's movements. there's another word for that. i call it autopilot 
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MY GOD... That Miasma being thingy looks so much like Slenderman It's not even scary... Wait, yes it is.
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Some gramatical errors (grammar nazi mode activate) 
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"No one" is two words. Ill means you're sick "I'll" is what you meant. And after a period there is a space and you capitalize the first letter after the period. But I do like your comic. And you are very good at art.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Oooh, I love the idea behind this, I had been thinking something similar about Luna and Nightmare Moon -- that Nightmare was a version of Luna that was possessed by some kind of malevolent force and that the elements drove it out of her. Nice to see the idea taken further here.
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Wow Celestia should really fire her Royal Guards for this one... but then again she probably did pretty quickly after being possessed (possibly with real fire too)!
I do think that Massaras (sorry if i messed that up) has taken over Celestia's mind a little bit too easily though. In the case of Luna there was a strong base for a villian to penetrate within, but in Celestia's case she is so Mary Sue I would have expected it to be a lot tougher for something like this to happen.
If your villian can take over Celestia that easily... Equestria has pretty much gone Nuclear already!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Masarras did not take over Tia mind
Also Masarras is not typical villain
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You should really improve your spelling. It loses a lot of charm due to stupid spelling errors.
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Are you good with English? Cuz I could use a help in that.
I'm not that good with writing in English, got problems with grammar and other stuff....
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Not my native language, so you'd be much better off finding a native speaker. Still, if you can't, I could help as much as I can and at least catch the basic errors.
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If i dont find anyone else ill come to you then. Thanks
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Thats good, cuz that felling will make you want save some ponies from death in later chapter
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Maybe or maybe not
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I call it Miasma ( like many other Bronys that believe that this ghost possessed Luna before).
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Miasma is the same Name of the same cloud in a comic from Nimaru.
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I know but its how he called it....i call Him Masarras and he is... well... a bit different....first corrupted Luna and now Tia....but he is actually a sentient being, not a simple parasite, from the past that seeks to bring eternal night. Why? Not gonna say that cuz its major spoiler as this comic is actually my fan-fic. A big one if I might add.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
I wanna know if I can make a spinoff called "Rising Autobots" using the second page onwards...
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You mean a comic? Or a spinoff story? If comic then you cant use this pages, if story then yes. Just credit me in the comments.
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But how do you want to use it? Like... post it on your DA page and ... what exactly? Im not sure.
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Only use the first three pages and the page where the Magic Reaper is first introduced.
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yay i found the easter egg (i think) its that picture with luna and celestia, in the background next to her cupboard right?
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