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~Frank's POV~

I wish he was still here. I wish I could still call him a friend. But that's all gone now.

You told me forever. And I believed you. Now I realize how wrong I was to do that. You promised me so much, yet couldn't deliever as much as half of what you told me. Maybe you were just looking out for me, but I know better now. Still, I can't help looking back at all the all the good times. Some days, it's easier. Others, not so much.

So many things were left unsaid between us. What did you have to hide from me? I loved you, with every little bit of my heart. And what, it just wasn't enough for you? I guess some things are just never meant to last, no matter how much I wanted to believe that you would be around forever. Forever just doesn't mean what it used to. At least, that's what you taught me.

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out. I would've, in a heartbeat, just because I would've known they were dead wrong. But that was years ago, and now if I was to punch anyone out, I'd have to have them do the same to me, just because they ended up being right.

You loved me, didn't you? I know you did. You had to. The way you smiled, like I was the only one that could ever make you that happy. The way your eyes seemed to show a shine when we were alone, spending time together. . . Showing each other how much we loved one another. I could never forget it, I keep it locked in my head. That way, I can never forget, so when I can think of you, it can be easier. It will never be with no pain at all, but at least I can do it without thinking of wanting to harm myself.

I've gone through those days a lot. Without you. Hmm, without you.. There seems to be a lot of me Without You these days. . . Do you remember the old days? Because that's always were my mind seems to drift to. I can't stand the present, because that means me living here, without you.

Remember when we were such fools, and so convinced and just too cool? We never thought of what others would think of us; we were just too happy together. Whenever we were together, we only ever had eyes for each other, and it wasn't better any other way. I couldn't think of a way to make it better, because it was already perfect the way it was. Or, at least, that's how it seemed. Oh, how I wish we could go back.

"Don't give up on me, baby, please." He would tell me that so often, when he was going through some of his harder days. Even with how many times he told me that, I've told him just as many times that he never needed to worry about me leaving, because I never would. Never. But somehow you found a way to leave me. When he would get into his drunken fits, I never got mad at him. Whenever he would say stuff to me that was so hurtful, "I hate you!" or "I want nothing to do with you!" I didn't get mad, because I knew he didn't mean it. At least, I thought he didn't then.

What did I do to make him so mad at me? All I ever did was try to make him happy, try to show him how much he was the only person I ever wanted. All I ever did was love him. Maybe I was too obsessive, too needy for him. I don't know. All I do know? How much I wish he was still here right now. All I ever wanted was him, but apparently it wasn't the same for him.

When someone said 'Count your blessings now 'fore they're long gone', I guess I just didn't know how. I guess I just couldn't realize how much I had to lose, and how easily it would be to lose it. Him. Lose him. And that was for sure, he was gone like a flash and I have no clue why, but I'll always remember when. I could never forget.

It's raining out right now. I wish he was here with me, just to watch. I've come to notice it rains a lot when it starts to become one of those bad days. We used to love to just sit and watch the rain, when it was peaceful. I would sit inbetween his legs, my back against his chest, and he would wrap his arms around me. It was so easy to relax, let myself relax into him. The way we fit together. . .We weren't the same size, but that didn't matter. We still fit perfect together. We did, anyways. And I will never forget.

There is the nights I will see you appear in my dreams. It's the same every time. The day before you left, and the day of your leaving. The day before, it was a day like any other. We went to the park, what we usually did when we wanted time together with no distractions. We would take a walk down the the creek that ran along the borders of the park, and just sit on the bench that we dragged down there. That way, we wouldn't have to worry about interruptions. I could remember the way he would let me sit on his lap and just sitting in silence. It was comforting, knowing we didn't need anything more. That day, he had told me he loved me, and that he never wanted me to forget it.

Then, I didn't know why he had said it in that manner.

But the day he left, it was very much different. It was raining, not much different than how it was right now. We were at my house, with what had started off as a normal morning. We kissed, spent a little time together. But then, something was very..off about him, and I could see it right then. He was distant, cold, even. I couldn't figure out why. When I flat out asked what his problem was, he just yelled that he didn't need me anymore.. That he didn't want to be around, that I was too much, he couldn't stand me anymore.. And then he was just gone, stormed out of that door, never returning.

It still didn't make sense to me then. Though, I've come to attempt to learn.

That last kiss, I'll cherish, until we meet again. That last time we were together, the day that we left, I couldn't ever forget it. And I hold onto it until there comes the day that he walks back through that door, and maybe then we could somehow repair our relationship and move on from there. I always hoped, but never dreamed.

I moved myself from staring from my couch, to curling up and sitting in the bay window, continuing to watch the rain. For some reason, when I watched the rain, it not only made me think of him, but seemed to calm some of my emotions laying out on top. Whether it was anger, sadness, confusion. . . I always found relief in rain. Strange, I know, but that's just part of who I am. It's who I've always been, before and after. . . Him.

The rain was beginning to come down hard, making it difficult to see outside. I didn't like this kind. It was like the rain was angry. So I forced myself to uncurl and shuffle up the stairs for more solitary grieving. I just somehow shut everyone out, in one or another. I had friends, sure, I always needed them, but more times than others, I really just wanted to be alone. Or rather, I just wanted to be with him, but that wasn't going to be happening, so I settled for myself.

My darling, who knew? Who could've known that things would've ended up this way? Maybe he had always planned for things to end up that way, but I know that I couldn't have imagined it for anything in the world. Just..I wish I could back further in time, before that day, and maybe change how I was acting and who I was, just for him. Just so he wouldn't have felt the need to leave. So maybe that way, I wouldn't feel the way I do now. Helpless. . .Confused. . .Lost. . .Utterly broken.

There was a knock at the door, the bell simultaneously going off at the same time. Unexpected, more than anything. I didn't want to get out of bed or even move, but I knew how badly it was raining outside, so the considerate side of me didn't want them to get utterly soaked standing out there. Sometimes that side got the best of me.

But right now my attention was more focused on contemplating who could be at the door at this moment. My few friends knew that I was wanting my alone time, so who could it be? My heart jumped, just the littlest bit, finally showing a small sign of life. As I walked down the stairs, my hopes just jumped ever so slightly, but I couldn't get up nearly as high as I wanted to; I've gotten used to disappointment.

I got to the door and almost ripped it open for the sake of just getting the moment over with. But I realized that maybe I should've make it last just a little bit longer.

There he was, sure a little soaked from the rain, but there he was. Black hair that came down to his shoulders, now getting stuck to his face, the hazel eyes that I could look into for so long.. Was I dreaming? Was I going to wake up soon and find I'll just be in pain from figuring out that all of it was just my imagination? There was only one way to find out. . .

"Ge--Gerard?" I asked in a tiny voice. He looked at me, eyes looking tired but alive when he saw me respond. His head slightly nodded and that was about the point that I couldn't hold myself back.

Into the pouring rain, I threw myself into his arms. I ran full force, wrapping my arms around his waist. I could feel him, his chest, his arms that were wrapping themselves around my waist, so I knew it had to be real. Just the reality of him being here made broken sobs erupt from somewhere deep inside me, hitting me hard. I felt myself shaking, but I knew it was because of him.

"Frankie..I've missed you.." He whispered when his head moved to sitting on top of my head. I missed that feeling. . .

I tried to manage stopping shaking for a moment to shift and look up at him. "I-I've missed you too." I told him, steadily crying now. Not that you could tell the difference between tears and rain, but still, I could feel the difference. Or rather, taste it.

For a moment, the two of us just stared at each other. Through the pouring rain and all the pain that neither of us could deny, we both saw the same thing in each others eyes: The want--no, need, to be together again. I've become really sick of trying to deny things, so now that this is really happening, I no longer have to.

"I.. I'm so sorry, Frankie, for everything. For what I said, for whatever I could've done.." Gerard said, trying to keep his voice steady.

I knew him. I knew right now, he wanted to be breaking down, just like me. But just hearing him say that, and somehow, how I can just tell that he means it, it was more than enough for me. All I ever wanted to know was that he still thought of me and that one day, we could still have a small chance of being together once again. And all I wanted right now was just to be close to him, like we used to be.

And I knew that was slowly starting to happen when, despite being soaking wet, kissed me right there. At first he was gentle, trying to become familiar with me once again, then it starting becoming deeper, more passionate. The longer we kept like this, the more my brain just became muddled, foggy. I was completely absorbed in him, and I never wanted to let go.

At least now, I didn't have to worry that he ever would. Ever again.