Description
Her realm was gray, everything she gazed at was gray. What was the significance of a world without color?
Sunsets were never vivid enough as the contrast of black and white masked their authentic beauty. Food tasteless, plain. Charcoal bags hung underneath her clouded globes. Ordinary. Weary. Austere. In every direction she beheld, stretched the different intensities of dust.
Forlorn frontages filled her vision every time she entered the bus.
Frustration.
Anger.
Sadness.
Depression.
None of them were ever foreign to her. Negative emotions whispered ruinous images to her mind. Revolution of melancholy. Like poison, it slowly corrupted her being.
Sleep, suggested sadness. Why live in an environment filled with anguish?
And she almost did.
She prepared all the items she needed. Letters of atonement, numerous pills in every shape and hue ( gray, she observed. ), depression cheering out his approvals.
One more day at school, she begged.
Depression nodded. She speculated that it was inevitable for her to prevent her own oblivion. It was too late, the girl understood.
That's what she believed until she met him.
Her [h/c] strands swayed side to side as she trotted the halls of her school. Cheerful voices drenched her heart with sadness. She envied euphoria. Specifically, euphoric people. Why did they deserve to be happy when all that visited her was torture?
Due to her careless wandering, she hadn't witnessed the commotion right in front of her. A shoulder bumped into hers. Electricity ascended up her arm. She blinked slowly.
What?
She gazed behind, once she heard a rushed out apology from the stranger who slammed into her.
Not stranger, she considered. She recognized the ruffled raven hair and the bleached tuft the boy sported daily.
Second year, Class three, she remembered. Nishinoya Yuu.
Her orbs lingered on the retreating boy's back, longer than she needed to.
Her cycle continued. Contemplation. Sadness. Loneliness. Gray. Gray. Gray. Nothing more, nonetheless. Her thoughts wrung up deep imagery of the day's activities. She thought about him next.
The boy who's smile lingered in her mind. The boy who constantly caused mayhem inside the classroom opposite to theirs. Who's voice exploded during excited rips of energy.
She could have sworn she had fallen asleep to the sounds of his laughter.
She could have sworn she had dreamed of the vivid, color yellow.
"[Last name]-san!" Someone called out to her one afternoon. It was him. Her instincts knew it instantly.
She stopped and turned around.
Conversations with people in school were uncommon, especially from the other gender. Her stomach rumbled like a hurricane against a feeble building. Was she afraid?
She greeted him with a wave.
"... The teacher ..." he panted, probably from the excessive running he did to get to her. "Assigned us to be buddies ... to prepare for the next exam!"
Her grades in all subjects were excellent: she got into Class four for a reason. But were the people in the lower classes really struggling? She paid no attention whatsoever to most students in school, Nishinoya the exception. But why did their teacher entrust her with him?
"Okay," she agreed. "Please take care of me from now on."
He laughed. That amazing, serene smile— "I should be the one saying that!"
He bowed, and by the way his chocolate orbs clicked, he must have forgotten something. A rushed apology quickly followed after, and a mad dash towards the next hallway left her in silence.
"...Partners... huh?" She whispered, the words fit perfectly in her mouth.
For the first time in years, she genuinely smiled.
"Do you join any clubs?" He asked nonchalantly. "It feels like I've never given you a chance to talk, you know?"They were on their school's roof, wasting time as the lunch break ran through. A month later after their tutoring ended, she expected him to forget her and never make contact again like the plague.
She was surprised when he didn't.
During their time together, she learned that he was the libero for their school's volleyball team. Sentencesand phrases consisting of 'rolling thunder' or 'senpai' frequent their conversations.
She didn't mind, letting him talk all the time.
It reminded her that in fact— he regarded her as a person, no—friend.
Friend. Her first high-school friend.
She was glad it was him.
Slowly, bit by bit, she noticed her world change.When she woke up one day, the different hues of red assaulted her vision. She gasped. She saw scarlet, she identified crimson. Beautiful. Astounding. Amazing.
Tears clouded her eyes.
Another lazy afternoon passed by at school that day, another day spent with him.
"Hey, [last name]-chan? It's the first time you laughed at one of my jokes, I'm really happy!"
He wasn't the only one.
Months flew by easily, which astounded her. She grew accustomed to liking photography. How did a camera remember all the colors and transformed into a single, alluring picture. Photographs covered her bedroom walls.
Her parents reprimanded her numerous times, reminding her to manage the mess in her room.
She didn't care, abstract looked best in her eyes.
Most of the pictures consisted of scenery and silly pictures with Nishinoya and Tanaka, the former's best-friend and teammate from volleyball. ( Despite his scary exterior, he was a sweet guy at heart. ) Her face flushed deep crimson when she caught herself gazing at one boy in particular.
Why did he make her react that way?
The way his eyes shone. His laugh. His wonderful smile. The silly tuft of bleached hair that sat on top of his head like a king. His silly nicknames for his volleyball moves. The way he made you laugh. How accompanied you home when it was late after school. He was yellow, much more yellow than the sun could have tried to be.
All you could see was yellow.
Yellow.
Not gray.
Yellow.
Bright, vivid, yellow.
Then she knew.
Content.
Adjective.
Satisfaction with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
End.
Verb.
To come to an end; terminate; cease:
"Guys!" Nishinoya brought up while you three trotted back home.
"Hmm?" You replied as Tanaka responded with, "What? What!"
"Remember the girl from class Ryuu? The one who sat next to me— no, not the guy!" He ecstatically admitted.
No, please no, she begged.
Her heart shook with fright. Her skin paled, her orbs turned glassy. Was he going to disclose what she thought he was ... ?
"— that's why I was so late getting to you both. She confessed to me!"
Think positive, she convinced herself. He didn't agree, did he— he wouldn't have! She knew him like the back of her hand. She knew who made him blush, she knew almost entirely his ... did she?
"... and I said yes!"
He broke her.
Tears tore through her whole body. Sob after sob, minute after minute, and still the pain hadn't disappeared. Her whole body shook. She cried until she couldn't breathe.She sobbed until her heart ached.
Every inch of her being flared like she took a stab wound for every millisecond that passed.
She couldn't breathe.
She couldn't see.
She cried.
Cried.
Hurt.
Her orbs could not glance at anything. She imagined him with her, smiling and laughing like they did.
How could someone who never liked you back, hurt you so much?
Numb.
Gray.
Dim.
Gray.
Gray.
gray.
Her realm was gray, everything she gazed at was gray. What was the significance of a world without color?
Until she met him.
And lost him.
Her realm of hues crumbled and died.
In the fire of happiness and then suffering, her euphoria disappeared in an instant.
Just like the ash that remained.
❝ Some days, I feel everything at once.
Other days, I feel nothing at all.
I don't know what's worse:
Drowning beneath the waves,
or dying from thirst. ❞
— Lang Leav.