Comments: 18
IncredibleIntruder [2014-05-06 15:09:00 +0000 UTC]
There are some nice elements to this story, but I can't really say I entirely enjoyed it. There are some very heavy stereotypes in the first few parts that I haven't really appreciated, like the rather obvious and exxagerated brutality and cold temperament of the parents with their only daughter, the fat beau, the fact that her servants are easily swayed to commit larceny and to not question the motives of Sophia, how they seem to easily go through their plan despite their lack of experience and so forth. It might be me just going a bit too far in my nitpicks in what is essentially a more fantastical story, but I took me out a bit.
The few Italian words combined with English kind of irritated me as well. While it does present the fact that they are Italian, most of the time it was used in a non-even manner. The homosexual relation between Sophia and Claudia was cute, yet the reactions of a lot of people felt forced at times. In the times of piracy, that kind of stuff was not exactly accepted with open arms.
However, I do have to say the latter parts of the tale with the entity were very nice. It opened up the tale with plenty of opportunities for development, gave an actual evolution to Sophia and forced her to commit some kind of moral choice and some of the ideas there were very fun to read. In a twisted sort of way, this felt like a more ambiguous ending, with some good and bad thrown in the mix to create something a bit more original and much more satisfying to follow.
There are occasional things that are nice in here, but I have seen you do better stuff.
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godzillahomer [2013-09-17 02:09:16 +0000 UTC]
Very nice, I wonder how the ship would deal with modern battleships, it'd probably be a stalemate, the ghost ship can't sink, the battleship is impervious to their weapons
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battlecruiser006 In reply to godzillahomer [2016-05-17 19:30:54 +0000 UTC]
Well it depends on the Heavy Cruiser.. the though a battlecruiser might have the same ring.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
godzillahomer In reply to battlecruiser006 [2016-05-17 20:46:27 +0000 UTC]
'You sank my Battleship!'
'You sank my Heavy Cruiser!'
first has the better ring due to the classic game
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battlecruiser006 In reply to godzillahomer [2016-05-17 22:25:41 +0000 UTC]
Well the Des Moines class heavy cruiser is the exceeded in size only by the Alaska Class Large Cruiser also there are battlecruisers also you do NOT want to be on the receiving end of the main armament of the former while the are 8 208mm they have a nasty trick up their sleeve those 208mm guns are AUTOLOADERS giving each gun 10 rpm so a Des Moines has 9 of those guns so that mean 90 rpm going down range.
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godzillahomer In reply to battlecruiser006 [2016-05-18 00:08:27 +0000 UTC]
still wouldn't hurt a ghost ship, cause incorporeal/held together with supernatural forces
magic must beat magic
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battlecruiser006 In reply to godzillahomer [2016-05-18 00:10:33 +0000 UTC]
There are times when magic is defeated by something that isn't magical.
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Ecarina [2013-09-08 12:21:56 +0000 UTC]
I definitely liked it and want to see more of it, but I don't quite understand how this fits into the HBL world, since it seems so far in the past. Though if she's immortal now, this could just be the past of the HBL world.
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VG-MC In reply to Ecarina [2013-09-08 12:29:46 +0000 UTC]
That's the idea, yes. She'd be about 500 years old or so in the present.
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AAGGRESSS [2013-09-06 09:06:25 +0000 UTC]
well done!
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VG-MC In reply to AAGGRESSS [2013-09-06 10:17:15 +0000 UTC]
What do you think of my reinterpretation of Riptide and her story? I need a little more than "Well done". Full thoughts please.
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AAGGRESSS In reply to VG-MC [2013-09-06 19:07:10 +0000 UTC]
its an reinterpretation in a very light sense, as I barely had anything written for her accept the framework. you definitely made her more likable at first than I had planned, and you instead had her grow into basically the same persona I had expected her to have by the very end. I really like how you handled the demon and his deal with her, and all the little details you put into the story which I noticed also subtly expands the HBL universe with never before seen locations.
Her parents were basically handled how I had expected they would be, and you definitely made her advancement into piracy more subtle and believable. You also managed to get her into full pirate mode without the mutant plot point, which is good.
this also means that she ties into your universe as well, so we basically just added a new character to the HBL series as a whole.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
fumanchu55 [2013-09-06 01:52:30 +0000 UTC]
nicely done
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pissedoffjose [2013-09-06 00:49:13 +0000 UTC]
prettttyyy goooodddd!!!!
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