Phoenix8640 [2014-12-03 04:08:42 +0000 UTC]

The very last line is, as you said, a bit awkward, but isn't as bad as you think.

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jennyorlean [2014-08-26 01:33:48 +0000 UTC]

omg i love it

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2snails1shell [2014-04-27 08:43:55 +0000 UTC]

Please don't? Stay and work "it" out !YAY! Kirk & Kiki

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Musketeer13 [2014-04-06 11:39:08 +0000 UTC]

short but effective

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Imogenation42 [2013-04-15 10:29:44 +0000 UTC]

so moving!

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GothicWhoovian [2013-02-18 03:31:08 +0000 UTC]

Damn thats some good writing!!!

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ilovellis [2012-07-26 06:50:16 +0000 UTC]

This is Beautiful.

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Annanonyma [2012-04-25 18:46:12 +0000 UTC]

Actually it is the last phrase which got me. Good work. Simple and yet effective.

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ciphey [2011-11-04 20:52:30 +0000 UTC]

i was and did

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SeaStarFishFloat [2011-10-13 02:10:19 +0000 UTC]

Beautifully powerful. I read it to myself in a whisper out loud. I have shivers. Amazing

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RobertJamesA [2011-09-29 07:17:41 +0000 UTC]

Wow so powerful in just a few words.

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Felicity5-0 [2010-12-22 05:59:02 +0000 UTC]

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww... luv it

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kiwis-ghoul [2010-11-05 14:08:35 +0000 UTC]

Short and quick indeed. But still awesome to read. c:
Wow. Did that just rhyme. x''D
Anyways. It's really well written. <:

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shadowgladiator [2010-09-01 00:03:52 +0000 UTC]

wow its like...there in ur face, i mean right to the point good job

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scdemonfang [2010-02-25 22:25:22 +0000 UTC]

short and sweet.. i love it.

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DearMissMarie [2009-12-19 23:19:45 +0000 UTC]

This is BEAUTIFUL!!!

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Anonymous-heartache [2009-12-19 20:44:03 +0000 UTC]

I agree >> So true...
I think the ending makes it.
<3

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mirella209 [2009-08-16 08:19:36 +0000 UTC]

i just read the poem and an ending to it pop into my head "life blows"

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colourcaster [2009-06-08 00:40:32 +0000 UTC]

so true

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macabrexxmicaela [2009-05-19 01:31:19 +0000 UTC]

the last line is really not as bad as you think, if i may say so myself. it adds an almost innocent sense to the whole suicidal image, and it's actually pretty good. kudos

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DQueen [2009-05-09 17:07:45 +0000 UTC]

Even after the months ago that I've favorited this, it is still one of my top favorites.

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vampireknightfan [2008-06-19 00:42:17 +0000 UTC]

hey its good. check out Crimson Red in my profile. tnx

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dimlylitangel [2008-01-03 09:00:17 +0000 UTC]

Simple but still very deep. Great work. I like it a lot.

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kamoku17 [2005-07-02 14:38:32 +0000 UTC]

simple and profound poem
well done

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wilting-rose-887 [2005-07-02 05:34:11 +0000 UTC]

hey i really like that straight to the point, its as if i am there wating the action. fantastic- could u check out some of my stuff, only if u have a chance or want 2

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