HOME | DD

Description
Finally- the sequel to 'Irk Cave!'

...I tried, I really did, but...this doesn't match my vision at all. It requires perspective and a million buildings and signs laid over each other and camera angles and imagination and ugh... That moment when your needs outpace your drawing abilities.
Just imagine your looking at Vegas (or Tokyo or some other amazingly flashy place) except with a ton of sci-fi-esque technologies in the Irken architectural style (so less sharp edges like seen here and more rounded buildings with more rounded pipes and the like coming out of said rounded buildings.) There'll be way more Voots and other Irken spaceships flying around above you at any given moment, the buildings are pretty much all skyscrapers (from this angle of the camera, you shouldn't even really be able to see the sky with all the buildings in the way) and way up high and below there are countless holograms bombarding you with advertisements, obey signs, Irken symbols (because Irkens rule and they need expensive holograms just to make sure you know that), and broadcasts from the Tallest every now and then. There's also noise EVERYWHERE mostly advertisements, and billboards, a million homeless people (none of these are Irken, they're all different alien species and the Irkens basically laugh at them all the time) etc. etc.
...It's just kind of an amazing place absolutely FILLED with stimulus. FLASHING LIGHTS, sounds, millions of people on the streets, one-man entertainment lined up across the busiest walkways and huge entertainment centers everywhere else!

So in my headcanons, modern-day planet Irk can be seperated into three major components: The entertainment industry, the military, and some extremely minuscule areas which operate independently. I'll cover these individually:

The Entertainment industry : This part of Irk is what you're seeing here. Let me tell you, these places are HUGE. They're basically 4-5 cities combined together and there are several of them. This is all about sucking in the money for the Irken Empire so they can afford their military, which sucks in the majority of Irken profits (not because they need to, but because they want to.) This is the only area on Irk which allows other species besides the Irkens to visit (or at least, the ones that aren't so terrified of Irk as to refuse to step foot on their land.) Even though there's tons of different species all the time here, Irkens ultimately get much better treatment. There is tons of entertainment on every corner, and it's just tons of fun. This is the place you want to be on vacation! There's probably some gambling and a ton of black market dealing in here too but uh...we don't talk about that. Even though these GIANT cities rake in tons of cash, the Irkens get most of their money elsewhere. Irkens pretty much OWN the entire food industry and every snack you buy helps fund Irk...you're basically contributing to your own doom if you're a Vortian or a Meekrob and you decide to buy some potato chips. Snacks are pretty much 99% owned by Irkens- ALL snacks- and there's a huge majority of fast food restaurants also owned either by Irk or individual Irkens. THAT money funds all kinds of things like the entertainment cities on Irk, as well as all kinds of other things. I should also note Irkens depend heavily on slave labor (they have ENTIRE planets' worth of slaves to use on a moment's notice) which they also use. Any type of food or resources on the planet they conquer goes to planet Irk, and anything that needs to be built can be done for free by slaves. These guys are RIIIIIIIIIIICH. How they got in this incredible position of power will be explained another day. But really, Irkens are like the incredibly rich man who has bought everything he could ever need and is still bringing in the millions a year. They have more money than they know what to do with. In fact, Irkens don't even have to work if they don't want to, and usually they don't. All Irkens, no matter WHO they are get a certain sum of money for survival necessities every year. This money is MORE than enough to survive and to some alien species, they're downright getting rich with just that minimal gain. As you can imagine, they all basically live in mansions- all paid FOR them, and just think.. the MAJORITY of the money goes to miliary pursuits!

This 'not needing to work' thing leaves many Irkens with a lack of purpose, and Irkens are biologically built to want to give themselves to the colony (you know, the whole 'evolved form ant' thing.) As a result, the military is FLOODED....HARD. Every Irken and their brother wants to get into the military, and it's all a big rush to get the highest most prestigious position and become immortalized in Irken history as a hero!

The Military : As big as these giant entertainment cities are, they're relatively small in comparison to how much land the military takes up. The Irkens put a LOT of soul into their military, it's practically their collectively-shared brain-baby. These guys put Sparta to shame here. It wouldn't be a far-fetched idea to say Irkens are obsessed with military- they just think it's cool. Who doesn't like cool things?

The military is split up further into two main sections: the military on land and the military in the sky. They have a million military bases down on Irk, and a million more protecting Irk in space. The Massive, though mainly used as simply a living quarters for the current Tallest, is also considered primarily a military vessel. (I read somwhere that the Massive is about a mile long. I like to think it's a lot bigger than that.) Even though the planet Irk is about two-three times bigger than Earth (REALLY big planet here) the number of living Irkens is relatively small and MOST end up living on the Massive (which is a crazy huge space ship.) There's really only about 3k documented/encoded Irkens alive at any given moment, though due to advances in technology, they could literally whip up thousands of willing soldiers within a day if all smeeteries were running at the highest speed (Irkens are considered teens the day after their birth, and considered matured adults at ten years. They'll be short, but they can be taught everything they need to know just by running it into their PAKs at birth, meaning they can be introduced to the military by the next day.) I would say about 50-60% of Irkens are born on Irk, and the other half is born in smeeteries on the massive. For those born on Irk, most of them are transported to the Massive, and many will never visit Irk ever again, especially if the Massive has moved several lightyears away from Irk by the time those Irkens are done with training. So in other words, many have scarcely seen a glimpse of their homeworld during the first couple days of their birth, and then they may never see it again or even really know what it looks like. This, thus far, is true for Zim- he only saw it once or twice.

It's around the military areas where most Irken homes are built, and living here is frankly a pain. They live literally RIGHT outside the hottest portions of the military and there is CONSTANT noise. Jets taking off, helicopter noises, missles, explosions... all day and all night. This would drive you and me nuts, but Irkens are used to it- they can't sleep without it actually (assuming they decide to sleep at all.) After so long, they only notice the explosions if it gets pointed out to them. But yeah, not at all peaceful around here. The ground is shaking a lot too due to this technology. Irkens will tell you it makes things exciting! If you've heard of the American Dream, you could say the Irken Dream is to be in that military some day (and trust me, they get bombarded with it all the time. Ads everywhere tell them to join the military, and that it's an Irken's duty to give their lives to the community this way.)

Independent areas : Now this is one of the most important places on Irk in my headcanons, but the least important to the Irkens themselves. These areas are big (yet RELATIVELY small) areas on the opposite side of Irk, which hasn't been completely engulfed by the revolutionized world yet. Yes, you can actually SEE the soil here (everywhere else is covered in metal or concrete flooring) the ground isn't completely flat, and there's even some Irken animals and plants here! (unfortunately, that fungus I loved so much was forcefully made extinct by the modern Irkens by now.) Even more importantly, there are small factions of Irkens who didn't join the rush to technology, and have remained mostly untouched from thousands of years ago. Those precious Irkens I talked about in Irk Cave? The ones that were never taught to be cruel, who don't have PAKs, the ones that appreciate each other? They still live here, in varying degrees of awareness to the other side of Irk. Some are EXTREMELY primitive Irkens who still live in caves, completely unaware that anything else exists. Mostly, there are Irkens who've kept their customs and culture, and are extremely aware of the other side of Irk. Due to Irken laws, these factions are automatically given the right to live as they please here and cannot be removed or killed (though many modern Irkens hate this.) These primitive Irkens see the modern Irkens like children. They essentially think they don't know what they're doing and are hurting others because they don't know any better. Modernized Irkens see these primitive Irkens as a complete embarrassment and as basically another species who don't know the difference between left or right. They live together on the same planet begrudgingly, but for the most part they pretend like the other half doesn't exist. The two are basically opposites in culture. Modern Irkens will treat another alien in need of help with disdain, will rub their superiority in their face, and will probably laugh at it rather than help. These primitive Irkens would treat that alien with kindness and many will except this complete stranger into their own home without fear. Remember, these primitive Irkens have a VERY loving society.

These guys will be VERY important to the future of the Irken species later on (as well as the future of all alien species which suffer due to the modern Irken's actions) but for now, they're practically invisible to the civilized world. No other species besides the Irkens know they even exist, and only a few groups of Irkens know about them and ignore them. They're considered small and insignificant, and too stupid to understand the ways of modern Irkens.
Though don't get me wrong: Like I said, very important group here, and I LOVE them. When I say 'primitive' I mean in a sense that they're old and have been around the longest, and not that they don't know anything. They're actually much more aware and conscious than their modern Irken counterparts. Think of them as similar to American Indians, and their factions being reservations. They're very wise and informed gentle people, but their knowledge goes unnoticed by others and are treated more as something that's barely surviving to the modern world.

There's SOOOOO much more to cover with the primitive Irkens and how Irk was thousands of years ago, as well as how Irk and the Irkens have evolved thousands of years later to what they are today- practically opposites to what they used to be. And of course, there's so much story happening in the middle which I need to get too, AURG!
*levels breathing* patience, patience. All in due time.

For now, enjoy this brief introduction to modern Irken society! After I explain the story with Mr.evil higher-dimensional demon guy, I'll get more into the DARK history and gritty details of Irken kind.

Description
Finally- the sequel to 'Irk Cave!'

...I tried, I really did, but...this doesn't match my vision at all. It requires perspective and a million buildings and signs laid over each other and camera angles and imagination and ugh... That moment when your needs outpace your drawing abilities.
Just imagine your looking at Vegas (or Tokyo or some other amazingly flashy place) except with a ton of sci-fi-esque technologies in the Irken architectural style (so less sharp edges like seen here and more rounded buildings with more rounded pipes and the like coming out of said rounded buildings.) There'll be way more Voots and other Irken spaceships flying around above you at any given moment, the buildings are pretty much all skyscrapers (from this angle of the camera, you shouldn't even really be able to see the sky with all the buildings in the way) and way up high and below there are countless holograms bombarding you with advertisements, obey signs, Irken symbols (because Irkens rule and they need expensive holograms just to make sure you know that), and broadcasts from the Tallest every now and then. There's also noise EVERYWHERE mostly advertisements, and billboards, a million homeless people (none of these are Irken, they're all different alien species and the Irkens basically laugh at them all the time) etc. etc.
...It's just kind of an amazing place absolutely FILLED with stimulus. FLASHING LIGHTS, sounds, millions of people on the streets, one-man entertainment lined up across the busiest walkways and huge entertainment centers everywhere else!

So in my headcanons, modern-day planet Irk can be seperated into three major components: The entertainment industry, the military, and some extremely minuscule areas which operate independently. I'll cover these individually:

The Entertainment industry : This part of Irk is what you're seeing here. Let me tell you, these places are HUGE. They're basically 4-5 cities combined together and there are several of them. This is all about sucking in the money for the Irken Empire so they can afford their military, which sucks in the majority of Irken profits (not because they need to, but because they want to.) This is the only area on Irk which allows other species besides the Irkens to visit (or at least, the ones that aren't so terrified of Irk as to refuse to step foot on their land.) Even though there's tons of different species all the time here, Irkens ultimately get much better treatment. There is tons of entertainment on every corner, and it's just tons of fun. This is the place you want to be on vacation! There's probably some gambling and a ton of black market dealing in here too but uh...we don't talk about that. Even though these GIANT cities rake in tons of cash, the Irkens get most of their money elsewhere. Irkens pretty much OWN the entire food industry and every snack you buy helps fund Irk...you're basically contributing to your own doom if you're a Vortian or a Meekrob and you decide to buy some potato chips. Snacks are pretty much 99% owned by Irkens- ALL snacks- and there's a huge majority of fast food restaurants also owned either by Irk or individual Irkens. THAT money funds all kinds of things like the entertainment cities on Irk, as well as all kinds of other things. I should also note Irkens depend heavily on slave labor (they have ENTIRE planets' worth of slaves to use on a moment's notice) which they also use. Any type of food or resources on the planet they conquer goes to planet Irk, and anything that needs to be built can be done for free by slaves. These guys are RIIIIIIIIIIICH. How they got in this incredible position of power will be explained another day. But really, Irkens are like the incredibly rich man who has bought everything he could ever need and is still bringing in the millions a year. They have more money than they know what to do with. In fact, Irkens don't even have to work if they don't want to, and usually they don't. All Irkens, no matter WHO they are get a certain sum of money for survival necessities every year. This money is MORE than enough to survive and to some alien species, they're downright getting rich with just that minimal gain. As you can imagine, they all basically live in mansions- all paid FOR them, and just think.. the MAJORITY of the money goes to miliary pursuits!

This 'not needing to work' thing leaves many Irkens with a lack of purpose, and Irkens are biologically built to want to give themselves to the colony (you know, the whole 'evolved form ant' thing.) As a result, the military is FLOODED....HARD. Every Irken and their brother wants to get into the military, and it's all a big rush to get the highest most prestigious position and become immortalized in Irken history as a hero!

The Military : As big as these giant entertainment cities are, they're relatively small in comparison to how much land the military takes up. The Irkens put a LOT of soul into their military, it's practically their collectively-shared brain-baby. These guys put Sparta to shame here. It wouldn't be a far-fetched idea to say Irkens are obsessed with military- they just think it's cool. Who doesn't like cool things?

The military is split up further into two main sections: the military on land and the military in the sky. They have a million military bases down on Irk, and a million more protecting Irk in space. The Massive, though mainly used as simply a living quarters for the current Tallest, is also considered primarily a military vessel. (I read somwhere that the Massive is about a mile long. I like to think it's a lot bigger than that.) Even though the planet Irk is about two-three times bigger than Earth (REALLY big planet here) the number of living Irkens is relatively small and MOST end up living on the Massive (which is a crazy huge space ship.) There's really only about 3k documented/encoded Irkens alive at any given moment, though due to advances in technology, they could literally whip up thousands of willing soldiers within a day if all smeeteries were running at the highest speed (Irkens are considered teens the day after their birth, and considered matured adults at ten years. They'll be short, but they can be taught everything they need to know just by running it into their PAKs at birth, meaning they can be introduced to the military by the next day.) I would say about 50-60% of Irkens are born on Irk, and the other half is born in smeeteries on the massive. For those born on Irk, most of them are transported to the Massive, and many will never visit Irk ever again, especially if the Massive has moved several lightyears away from Irk by the time those Irkens are done with training. So in other words, many have scarcely seen a glimpse of their homeworld during the first couple days of their birth, and then they may never see it again or even really know what it looks like. This, thus far, is true for Zim- he only saw it once or twice.

It's around the military areas where most Irken homes are built, and living here is frankly a pain. They live literally RIGHT outside the hottest portions of the military and there is CONSTANT noise. Jets taking off, helicopter noises, missles, explosions... all day and all night. This would drive you and me nuts, but Irkens are used to it- they can't sleep without it actually (assuming they decide to sleep at all.) After so long, they only notice the explosions if it gets pointed out to them. But yeah, not at all peaceful around here. The ground is shaking a lot too due to this technology. Irkens will tell you it makes things exciting! If you've heard of the American Dream, you could say the Irken Dream is to be in that military some day (and trust me, they get bombarded with it all the time. Ads everywhere tell them to join the military, and that it's an Irken's duty to give their lives to the community this way.)

Independent areas : Now this is one of the most important places on Irk in my headcanons, but the least important to the Irkens themselves. These areas are big (yet RELATIVELY small) areas on the opposite side of Irk, which hasn't been completely engulfed by the revolutionized world yet. Yes, you can actually SEE the soil here (everywhere else is covered in metal or concrete flooring) the ground isn't completely flat, and there's even some Irken animals and plants here! (unfortunately, that fungus I loved so much was forcefully made extinct by the modern Irkens by now.) Even more importantly, there are small factions of Irkens who didn't join the rush to technology, and have remained mostly untouched from thousands of years ago. Those precious Irkens I talked about in Irk Cave? The ones that were never taught to be cruel, who don't have PAKs, the ones that appreciate each other? They still live here, in varying degrees of awareness to the other side of Irk. Some are EXTREMELY primitive Irkens who still live in caves, completely unaware that anything else exists. Mostly, there are Irkens who've kept their customs and culture, and are extremely aware of the other side of Irk. Due to Irken laws, these factions are automatically given the right to live as they please here and cannot be removed or killed (though many modern Irkens hate this.) These primitive Irkens see the modern Irkens like children. They essentially think they don't know what they're doing and are hurting others because they don't know any better. Modernized Irkens see these primitive Irkens as a complete embarrassment and as basically another species who don't know the difference between left or right. They live together on the same planet begrudgingly, but for the most part they pretend like the other half doesn't exist. The two are basically opposites in culture. Modern Irkens will treat another alien in need of help with disdain, will rub their superiority in their face, and will probably laugh at it rather than help. These primitive Irkens would treat that alien with kindness and many will except this complete stranger into their own home without fear. Remember, these primitive Irkens have a VERY loving society.

These guys will be VERY important to the future of the Irken species later on (as well as the future of all alien species which suffer due to the modern Irken's actions) but for now, they're practically invisible to the civilized world. No other species besides the Irkens know they even exist, and only a few groups of Irkens know about them and ignore them. They're considered small and insignificant, and too stupid to understand the ways of modern Irkens.
Though don't get me wrong: Like I said, very important group here, and I LOVE them. When I say 'primitive' I mean in a sense that they're old and have been around the longest, and not that they don't know anything. They're actually much more aware and conscious than their modern Irken counterparts. Think of them as similar to American Indians, and their factions being reservations. They're very wise and informed gentle people, but their knowledge goes unnoticed by others and are treated more as something that's barely surviving to the modern world.

There's SOOOOO much more to cover with the primitive Irkens and how Irk was thousands of years ago, as well as how Irk and the Irkens have evolved thousands of years later to what they are today- practically opposites to what they used to be. And of course, there's so much story happening in the middle which I need to get too, AURG!
*levels breathing* patience, patience. All in due time.

For now, enjoy this brief introduction to modern Irken society! After I explain the story with Mr.evil higher-dimensional demon guy, I'll get more into the DARK history and gritty details of Irken kind.