HOME | DD

Description
HEAVY SPOILERS!

(From Chapter 5: The Escape of Portal 2)

So this description's gonna be a doozy. Just giving you fair warning that I've got A LOT to say.

~~~

I started this piece earlier this week. I had just finished 's post-Portal 2 fan fic Blue Sky [link] , which I had been highly anticipating for the past month, and which was SUPERB, but when I finished it I just felt... like... I was empty.

To quote something I texted my friend that night: "I wanted closure and I got closure. Why do I feel so empty? This is just like the end of the Harry Potter books: I don't know what to do with myself. Oh god... I'm starting to cry."

He replied: "What's this 'empty feeling'?"

And I replied with this whooper of a paragraph: "Like, I don't know. I think it's a cushion of some sort for something else, and that legitimately frightens me. It's like the empty spot where fangirling squealing noises and giggly satisfaction would go, but it's empty for some reason. Like now that the story's over, what point do I serve? As an audience member, as a fan, what is the point of me now that the curtains have closed? What is wrong with me??? What are these feels???"

After I thought about what I said, I knew I needed to do some art. Determined, I felt blindly through my memories of Portal 2 for the most vulnerable point in my journey, the point that left me the most tender and hurt. This scene was that point.

I had already spoiled myself partially (dammit!) when I got to this scene and I knew that this was it: this was the moment my best buddy was going to turn on me. And, I had to press the button to make it happen. I couldn't do it! I sobbed for ten minutes before I finally put on a stoic face and just went through with it cold-heartedly. I was apologizing profusely the whole time, but I tried my best just to chug through without thinking about it.

Later, it got me thinking a lot about fate - and hating the game for it. I was drifting through classes for the next few days feeling guilty and undeserving for an act that I literally COULD NOT HAVE prevent myself from committing. I felt responsible even though there was nothing I could do. There was a predestined plot that I could not alter.

It was a strange stage in my life, I must say. I've gotten over it now, but it's still interesting to think about.

~~~

ANYWAY! In regards to the actual art, I wanted to try a comic format for a long time but was very intimidated. This took days to complete because I didn't want to rush it and I wanted to get the panel lay-out and colors just right (those are a few of my weak points with comics). I worked hard on making my writing concise as well - unlike this description. I fail at keeping things short and simple :/ And, YES, I deliberately left out GLaDOS. Thought she was a key character in this scene, that's not what I was trying to capture; it was a moment between me and Wheats. She wasn't important in that moment.

---------------------------------

Narrator: Sometimes, I stay up late thinking about it...

Wheatley: "Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you."
Chell's Thoughts: But...

Narrator: Can you really be held responsible for things you could never change?

Wheatley: "Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button."
Chell's Thoughts: I can't... I can't do it. I'm sorry, Wheatley! I never wanted- I mean, I know what's going to- I don't want-

Narrator: I know it's just the plot of the game, but I can't help myself: I cry each time I have to press the Stalemate Resolution Button.

Chell's Thoughts: I'm sorry... I'm so, SO sorry.

---------------------------------

My Flankbook: [link]
My Youtube: [link]
My Tumblr: [link]

Description
HEAVY SPOILERS!

(From Chapter 5: The Escape of Portal 2)

So this description's gonna be a doozy. Just giving you fair warning that I've got A LOT to say.

~~~

I started this piece earlier this week. I had just finished 's post-Portal 2 fan fic Blue Sky [link] , which I had been highly anticipating for the past month, and which was SUPERB, but when I finished it I just felt... like... I was empty.

To quote something I texted my friend that night: "I wanted closure and I got closure. Why do I feel so empty? This is just like the end of the Harry Potter books: I don't know what to do with myself. Oh god... I'm starting to cry."

He replied: "What's this 'empty feeling'?"

And I replied with this whooper of a paragraph: "Like, I don't know. I think it's a cushion of some sort for something else, and that legitimately frightens me. It's like the empty spot where fangirling squealing noises and giggly satisfaction would go, but it's empty for some reason. Like now that the story's over, what point do I serve? As an audience member, as a fan, what is the point of me now that the curtains have closed? What is wrong with me??? What are these feels???"

After I thought about what I said, I knew I needed to do some art. Determined, I felt blindly through my memories of Portal 2 for the most vulnerable point in my journey, the point that left me the most tender and hurt. This scene was that point.

I had already spoiled myself partially (dammit!) when I got to this scene and I knew that this was it: this was the moment my best buddy was going to turn on me. And, I had to press the button to make it happen. I couldn't do it! I sobbed for ten minutes before I finally put on a stoic face and just went through with it cold-heartedly. I was apologizing profusely the whole time, but I tried my best just to chug through without thinking about it.

Later, it got me thinking a lot about fate - and hating the game for it. I was drifting through classes for the next few days feeling guilty and undeserving for an act that I literally COULD NOT HAVE prevent myself from committing. I felt responsible even though there was nothing I could do. There was a predestined plot that I could not alter.

It was a strange stage in my life, I must say. I've gotten over it now, but it's still interesting to think about.

~~~

ANYWAY! In regards to the actual art, I wanted to try a comic format for a long time but was very intimidated. This took days to complete because I didn't want to rush it and I wanted to get the panel lay-out and colors just right (those are a few of my weak points with comics). I worked hard on making my writing concise as well - unlike this description. I fail at keeping things short and simple :/ And, YES, I deliberately left out GLaDOS. Thought she was a key character in this scene, that's not what I was trying to capture; it was a moment between me and Wheats. She wasn't important in that moment.

---------------------------------

Narrator: Sometimes, I stay up late thinking about it...

Wheatley: "Have I ever told you the qualities I love most in you? In order: Number one: resolving things, love the ways you resolve things. Particularly disputes. Number one, tied: Button-pushing. Two things I love about you."
Chell's Thoughts: But...

Narrator: Can you really be held responsible for things you could never change?

Wheatley: "Here's a good idea. You should definitely press that button."
Chell's Thoughts: I can't... I can't do it. I'm sorry, Wheatley! I never wanted- I mean, I know what's going to- I don't want-

Narrator: I know it's just the plot of the game, but I can't help myself: I cry each time I have to press the Stalemate Resolution Button.

Chell's Thoughts: I'm sorry... I'm so, SO sorry.

---------------------------------

My Flankbook: [link]
My Youtube: [link]
My Tumblr: [link]