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"Y'know Benji, this would be a whole lot less weird if you weren't in MY bathtub."
"Mmm!!"
"Okay, fine, I'll save you from drowning, I GUESS." So the water's up to my neck, I'm apparently in Dex's tub, I'm still wondering what the heck office chairs have to do with this-

"Wait, whoa whoa, hold up. I wouldn't be that sassy if you were drowning!"
"Oh ho ho, you most definitely would."
"No I- you know what? This is stupid, let ME tell it. From the beginning."
"Sure, fine. It'll be the same."
"Ugh, whatever. I guess I'll still start with you, though..."

So apparently Benji was out doing his nightly rounds of "villainy", even though all he does is get cats out of trees. ("Dude! Not cool!" "Shut up, you know it's true.") And he's, like, driving around or something and got out to do... Something. ("What were you doing?" "..." "Oh my God." "That kid paid for his ice cream fair and square, it wasn't his fault he dropped it!" "Benji Agra, the terrifying supervillain, everybody. Anyway...") So he's about to get into his car again when he's suddenly jumped by a couple of guys. ("Four." "What?" "There were four guys. I could've taken two." "Would you stop interrupting?!") Anyway, they get him tied up pretty quick. You know, the usual; box tie, ankles, thighs, gag. Hey now, don't give me that look, I don't blame you. Like you said, four guys. So they stuff Benji in the trunk of their own car, which brings us back to where we were.
This is where I come in. I come home after a long day of superhero-ing; Val had to go see her boss about something, so I was home alone. A shower seemed awesome, so I started making my way to the bathroom, and notice that the water's running. Which is weird. So I run in, and lo and behold, there's Benji, tied up in my bathtub.
Anyway, he certainly seems relieved to see me. I'm just kinda standing in shock, though, because really, Benji is tied up in my bathtub.
"Y'know Benji," I told him, "this would be a whole lot less weird if you weren't in MY tub."
"Mmm!!"
"Getting sick of your shit, man. I mean, this is, like, the tenth time this week I've come home and found you tie up."
"DMMM!"
"Okay, fine, I'll save you from drowning. I GUESS." ("See?!" "Oh, yeah, you're right, because then that whole next thing happened...") So I'm about to cut the rope keeping his head secured to the drain when suddenly I'm grabbed. This HUGE pair of arms just wrap around my waist and pull me backwards, and next thing I know there are, like, five people in my bathroom.
"Wait!" I yell. "Benji, let me help him!" From my position, I can see his face barely poking out of the water. He's all tense and breathing through his nose, and these guys wait until his mouth is under and he starts spazzing out to cut the rope on his neck. I'm about to scream my head off, and they must be able to tell, because the guy holding me clamps his hand over my mouth. Anyway, Benji shoots up, and the guy who cut him free takes the gag off. He'd had a rag shoved in his mouth, and it had gotten wet when he went under, so he took a minute to cough all the water out.
"Foda-se! Filho de puta!!" ("I'm assuming that's something dirty in Portuguese." "It is.") "Are you trying to water board me?! Vaca..." ("That means 'cow'." "Whoa there Benji, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" "Wait, but yeah, you WERE sassy, because then I said...") "If you weren't so busy sassing it up as I'm literally dying I would've warned you!" I grumbled or something under the hand, then yelped as they started tying me up, too. For a second I thought they were just gonna drown both of us, but they didn't seem to care when he started wiggling out of the tub, so I took that as a good sign. While he was recovering, I got a better look at his former prison.
"Oh my God," I scoffed as they tied my arms identically to his, "did you weld my drain shut?"
"He could've opened it if we hadn't." I looked up and saw the guy who had cut Benji free. He had a creepy smile and an eyepatch, which is never a good combination.
"That's an awfully- ack!" They pushed me onto my stomach and started on my legs. "That's an awfully convoluted death trap."
"Then it's a good thing we weren't trying to kill him," Eyepatch said, poking Benji with his foot. He got a scowl in response, but this guy- ("Stop poking me, dude.") couldn't really do much else, since he was still tied up and coughing. He was dripping, too, and shivering, since those guys didn't even bother giving him a warm bath.
"They're just douchebags with an axe to grind," Benji finally managed, almost immediately bending over in another coughing fit.
"I don't," Eyepatch replied. "Well, I guess I kinda do. Your dad and I work pretty closely, after all."
"Dad?" I asked, glancing up at him.
"It's a long story," he groaned, shaking out his hair. "We're in trouble, by the way."
"Are we now?" I said sarcastically as they finished tying me up.
"I don't need your sass again, man."
"I don't need to find you in my bathtub about to drown!"
"Oh, yeah, because that was totally my doing! Next time I'll call and make an appointment!"
"Um... Good!"
"Fi- nngh!" They'd apparently gotten tired of this back and forth, because Eyepatch gagged Benji with a fresh rag. I should've known better than to open my mouth, but I guess I just never learn, because next thing I know I'm gagged too and we're being thrown over these guys' shoulders. There was a bit of arguing over who would carry Benji, considering the fact that he was still soaking wet, but after a few muttered reminders of certain frowned-upon deeds a guy with long hair reluctantly picked him up. My companion seemed to take extra pleasure in squirming around. ("He's the one that tied me to the drain, douchebag deserved to get wet.") Well, whatever, I got to experience that soon enough.
So they carry us downstairs. No one's around to see us, of course; I really need to move to a more populated area. They stuff us in a trunk together, meaning that now I'm, like uncomfortably damp, thanks a lot. ("Not my fault.") We're stuck like that for, like, half an hour? ("Something like that.") Anyway, the trunk finally opens and there's this tall guy with glasses looking down at us, with Eyepatch next to him. I have no idea what's going on, but I can feel Benji tense up next to me, so that's not a good sign.
So we're dragged out of the trunk and dropped on this concrete floor. I think it was some sort of garage, completely lit by candles, so talk about creepy. It was still cold, though, so now we're both shivering.
"Wait," Glasses chuckles, looking at Benji, "did you actually do the bath thing?"
"Of course."
"Ha! Well, at least you're clean, eh son?"
"Fumm ym," he muttered. "Yrmm nmm mm rlmm dmm."
"Did you just... Did you just 'you're not my real dad' me?" Benji nodded, looking way too pleased with himself. Kinda like he does right now. ("Gimme a break, man.") "But... I am your real dad. That doesn't even work here." He mumbled some more, yelping as Eyepatch yanked on his hair. "Ugh. I'm gonna have to tell whoever buys you to keep you gagged at all times. Speaking of..." He turned to me, and I shivered involuntarily. He and Benji's eyes were the same, but his were way... scarier. ("I can be scary too, ya know." "Oh please, you couldn't scare a twelve-year-old on Halloween night." "I mean, I WOULDN'T, but I COULD.")
"We've got a bidding war for you right now," he said, staring me down. "I keep reminding them that we have a 'must return after two weeks' policy, but they're impatient." Yeah, that doesn't sound good at all. I glanced over at Benji, who couldn't look me in the eye. I squirmed involuntarily, glaring.
"Marks."
"Yes?" This was Eyepatch, who was apparently named Marks. As Benji can tell you, the one addressing him was Standon.
"Watch them. I need to go finish some business." He jostled Benji with his foot, eliciting a growl. "Remember your old room, son? You get to go back. We never replaced that light, by the way, so it'll be quite dark." He shivered; I'll let give him the benefit of the doubt and say it was from the water.
Anyway, everyone leaves except for Eyepatch, and Benji and I immediately looked at one another like, "We gotta get outta here." Problem is that that one eye's never leaving us, and apparently ropes are even harder to get out of when they're wet. ("They are!")
Now candles were a good idea in theory, since Benji couldn't do anything to them, but... Fire. Anyway, he's still pretty wet, but I've mostly dried off. I would be able to heal whatever burns I'd inevitably get, too, so all that really worked for the better. So we both kinda come up with the plan at the same time, and Benji immediately starts spazzing out.
"What the..." He turned and focused on my companion, and I began a very slow scoot towards the nearest candle. "Calm down, kid, it's not gonna do you much good." Benji glared daggers at this dude, then furiously rubs his cheek against his shoulder so he can get the gag off, which he does! ("That's right I did.")
"You look like a Nick Fury cosplayer that social justice warriors would get mad at because you're white!" Which isn't much of an insult, really, but it kept him distracted while I kicked on a shelf and knocked a candle over. It almost went out, but I managed to get my hands near it, and the ropes burned off. Which hurt, by the way. ("Thanks man." "You're welcome.")
Eyepatch noticed at this point, and he starts making his way towards me when Benji kicks at his shins from behind. He toppled, hitting his head on the way down, which gave me enough time to free myself. I had spotted a knife on the wall when we first got here, so I quickly grabbed it and went to help Benji, kicking Eyepatch in the head whenever he started getting scary again. After a minute we're both free and he looked at the car we came in.
"Do you know how to hot-wire a car?"
"Oh boy do I!" I answered in a very excited, non-heroic fashion. The door hadn't been locked, so Benji set to work tying up Eyepatch while I put my more thoroughly researched carjacking skills to good use. Long story short, we had just crashed through the garage door when Benji's dad and everyone else showed up, and this guy flashed the most shit-eating grin I've seen in all my days before we made our getaway.

"So yeah, Val, that's why our bathroom was all wet and you shouldn't be mad at me."
"..."
"Oh, and uh... Sorry about the lights. And everything other electronic in your building. Drowning makes you panic, y'know?"
"..."
"Yeah okay she's not buying it."
"What do we do?"
"I'll try and calm down the landlord, but you two are cleaning this gross bathroom up."
"Y-Yes ma'am!"