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Description

Next: Page 2

Previous: Cover

First: Cover

Story:

Soana, daughter of Jaques, will partake in this years trial after he refused to let her attempt it the last two years.

Some say he waited so long to avoid the shame of seeing her fail, least others see her talent has been overstated.

Some say he was hoping she'd learn to fly before earning her first mark.

Others...others say he wasn't planning on taking her at all, that he'd choose her sister instead after all those years.

Few have an inkling of the truth and even those didn't know what they saw until it was almost too late...

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Characters:

Soana, 16 (9-10 in human years/HY) and protagonist of this story.

Vidal, 14 (8-9 HY), her competitor.

Jaques, her father and teacher in magic.

Sindri, ~26 HY (physical)//far too old (mentally), who knows what he's up to?

Nobody, that's who, not since his wife died.

Aron, the healer tasked with making sure nothing goes wrong. He could probably be more enthusiastic about his job.

A fair warning, this story will very likely be confusing the first time around.

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Didn't I just speak of the delights of not putting the name of one's comic on the cover?

Well, now I get to continue talking...about forgetting to colour large sections of your page.

But don't worry, I've gotten far better both at choosing a good colour pallet and actually filling it all in. These are still pretty early pages.

Due to the nature of this comic and (likely) the next I will post I very much need as much criticism as I can get.

Is the writing hard to read, should the speech bubbles be coloured softer, is there a problem with the style or is there anything else that seems odd to you?

Anything about the layout of the description that can/should be changed?

Tell me.

Specifically for now I'd be interested in what you think of language-coding the speech bubbles even when the language spoken doesn't particularly matter in the moment.

That and adding in a few words in the language being spoken.

Description

Next: Page 2

Previous: Cover

First: Cover

Story:

Soana, daughter of Jaques, will partake in this years trial after he refused to let her attempt it the last two years.

Some say he waited so long to avoid the shame of seeing her fail, least others see her talent has been overstated.

Some say he was hoping she'd learn to fly before earning her first mark.

Others...others say he wasn't planning on taking her at all, that he'd choose her sister instead after all those years.

Few have an inkling of the truth and even those didn't know what they saw until it was almost too late...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Characters:

Soana, 16 (9-10 in human years/HY) and protagonist of this story.

Vidal, 14 (8-9 HY), her competitor.

Jaques, her father and teacher in magic.

Sindri, ~26 HY (physical)//far too old (mentally), who knows what he's up to?

Nobody, that's who, not since his wife died.

Aron, the healer tasked with making sure nothing goes wrong. He could probably be more enthusiastic about his job.

A fair warning, this story will very likely be confusing the first time around.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Didn't I just speak of the delights of not putting the name of one's comic on the cover?

Well, now I get to continue talking...about forgetting to colour large sections of your page.

But don't worry, I've gotten far better both at choosing a good colour pallet and actually filling it all in. These are still pretty early pages.

Due to the nature of this comic and (likely) the next I will post I very much need as much criticism as I can get.

Is the writing hard to read, should the speech bubbles be coloured softer, is there a problem with the style or is there anything else that seems odd to you?

Anything about the layout of the description that can/should be changed?

Tell me.

Specifically for now I'd be interested in what you think of language-coding the speech bubbles even when the language spoken doesn't particularly matter in the moment.

That and adding in a few words in the language being spoken.