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SchwiftyBurito β See?I'm Trying...
Published: 2011-09-17 01:22:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 877; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 11
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Well.....I revamped Britt some more...PLEASE PLEASE crtic her and such..I really dont want her to be a Mary Sue I've had her for 2 Years.... Oh the Outfit is temporary as is designing one for meI do like it though XD Anway Heres what I changed:
Her tail..It was annoying to draw anyway her eyes, I blurred the colors together Instead her clothes, she needed a new outfit anyway Dammit I forgot her tattoo*shot*
Heres what Im NOT going to change:
her name...There are plenty of Naruto Canon characters with English/non-jap names, and its not like shes in the manga... I still dont get how shes so sparkly-kawaii-desu??? Anyway..hope ya like!
Britt Nara(C)Me
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Comments: 136
Well getting rid of the tail is a good start, as well as changing the eyes. They help make characters look less sueish.
Most characters do have Japanese names besides the cloud nin and most of them still do, besides A and Killer Bee (which is often written Killa B). May I just suggest giving her the name Buritto (seems kind of weird but it is Britt in Japanese, which you still keep the basic name but makes it fit in a bit more. The u is often silent or hardly noticeable when speaking.).
I wouldn't worry about the color of the clothing too much as akatsuki doesn't own black or red, just the cloaks with clouds on them. ^^
she can wear skirts, but they usually wear shorts, bandages or some form of metal mesh along with it. I am no expert though, I just created mine OC about a year ago and hardly gets notice or help. I am pretty much on my own and experimenting.
Also, make her cousins or something with Shikamaru instead, personally it would make more sense and explain why they don't look alike. Just my opinion though.
I hope that someone what helps.
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It looks fine to me!But I think she rather wear shorts instead of a skirt,it's easier to figth that way.And you should also add the little akatsuki cloud thing (she's from the akatsuki,rigth?).
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Thanks XD and hmm good idea XDDD
She has the cloud on the back of the jacket BTW XDD
Thanks so much
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Pretty nice design! It's simple, cute, and practical, and the hair and eyes really contrast with the color scheme of the clothes. *has always liked seeing red and blue side by side* The skirt is a little on the short side, which could get in the way of fighting, but other than that I find the outfit both appropriate and suitable. Just remember that if she's a ninja, she has to be able to fight in her outfit.
Her expression and pose also make her look lively and happy ^^ Wonder what she's so excited about?
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aww thanks! same here they are my favorite colors! XDDD
And maybe I should lengthen in or put shorts/pants underneath?
Lolz she is just a very happy person
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Very cute!!! It rather matches her through it can use a bit more color to fit her personality....anyways. If you want any help with her outfit(I guess you won't need it since somebody else is already designing something), you can tell me. 
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Thanks lolz and hmm good idea! and ok! thanks you!
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I don't think she looks like Sue. Ok yes, Her hair is an unusual color. but if you think about it.
Besides Sasuke and Itachi who DOESN'T have an unusual hair color? I mean Sakura's hair is pink!
If you look at other Fanfictions there's a good chance that almost every character will have a tragic past. In my oppinion that doesn't make it a Mary sue, that's what keeps the Story interesting lol
Although I do agree with Yaoislave for the sandals, It would probably give her a more Fun and bubbly look then the long boots. Keep it up!! x3
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Awww thanks hun...and yeah Ill change them to sandals.....thanks so much!
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...you can't judge a character by their looks, but dang, I look at her for a second and think she's a Sue. Do you know the boundaries of Sues and characters?
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What makes you call her a sue if I may ask?
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I've seen many sues in my years so, as much as I hate to admit for that means that I acknowledge that these characters are made, I notice a few reoccurring physical characteristics in them depending on fandom.
I fell out of the Naruto craze, but it is easy to recognize the pose as one of Sakura's official artworks. My recolor spotting skills aren't at all dull. Plus the anatomy shows that this is clearly not your regular drawing style. While recoloring is an issue (Due to it being illegal) it isn't ALWAYS related to a Sue, but 18 out of 20 times. Her clothing is incredibly similar to a prominent main character's. Her outline is nearly identical to a main character's. Her hair is a highly abnormal hair color. Clothing is impractical for her occupation, and it has overlapping points with other main character's. She has a name completely out of culture and shares it with creator's personal screename. The individual character made for a fandom has a fanclub. There's a picture of the character in a "sexy" pose over in the corner there; posted twice. Mention of having a tail- biologically impossible. Her creator forgot a notable physical trait. Her creator is apparently having others do a portion of the character development instead of advice.
That's pretty much 1 second observation notes I made. Now this is where I go into depth. For Naruto characters specific clothing color means something because groups have uniforms of different color... red and black, she has some involvement with Akatsuki. She's from Konoha, so she's somehow involved with Itachi. The majority of female Akatsuki characters have romantic involvement with a member or two, and these fandom characters usually have uniforms differing between the standard's. She's possibly going to have child/children with one of the members. The plot will reflect the unrealistic and exciting romance. The majority of the canon characters will be out of character and some of them will have their pasts rewritten- I'm assuming Itachi. The character will most likely be made to delve into and change a canon character's history, made specifically to please the real people that look at her, and to be a wish-fulfillment character.
Now on another note; what do you think the definition of Mary Sue is? It's actually a deeply defined term and I want to know what your current belief on it is.
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First of all, this picture was drawn using a a base, but i was tired last night and I forgot to put that so forgive me.
The outfit is temporary, as her original one was too...er...slutty, and Im trying to redesign something different,
The tail I got rid of, it was a stupid thing to have.
The sexy pose was a contest entry, and a mistake happened that caused it to be reposted twice...
I try to avoid making Itachi out of character: [link] even though my OC is involved with him, but I didn't change his story...
I had always thought A Mary-Sue was an overpowered OC, someone who couldnt be beat and was totally loveable, and someone that could easily get the canon character(s)they were paired with.
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Always credit the base-maker. It figures that someone made a base out of that pose. It's considered theft if you do not credit the maker, like it is considered theft if the base-maker doesn't credit the original image source if they didn't make the design themselves.
Ah. Just put her in the uniform. A uniform is made for a reason. A lawyer doesn't exactly go to court dressed like a circus clown does ze?
The tail was a stupid idea. It would make no sense.
The sexy pose? You do realize that you can just delete the extra off of deviantart as easily as you can submit something don't you?
I can see that you're trying to be realistic, but it isn't getting there. You recognize that singular characters are different people, but you have yet to develop a proper writing form. Keep practicing and try to think of the characters separate from yourself. Characters are completely different people from the writer and it takes some time to for the brain to process the concept. Other people they have lived differently, have different genetic personality traits, ect. Writers create characters like they are creating new people- there has to be psychological reasoning and distance.
That's one big stereotype of a Mary Sue. A common belief/fact is that beginner writers and artists can get false ideas of Mary Sues from inaccurate sources. Not all Suethors are beginners though and are instead writers that haven't had proper exposure to have developed a true writing form. A Mary Sue is a clichΓ©' and unrealistic character. The majority of professional writers donβt consider Mary Sues real characters because they are only an attempt at creating a character, but underdeveloped/improperly developed.
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Yes very true
I just did erase it and I also gave credit on the base
And yes, not only that it was annoying to draw ><
I see....
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Very short replies I receive. Writers typically enjoy writing anything even if they are biased to certain forms or uses.
Tracing over top of bases would certainly seem annoying. Do you draw yourself traditionally?
That's good. Don't only do things I tell you about. You evidently need some work in areas, but you can improve quickly if you do the right practicing.
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Sorry, Im not at my best Im sick at the moment....
I apologise
Yes, but I need to practice my art...I mainly write, seeing as that is more my forte so to speak.
And thank you! I appreciate that your helping me! Your critique is much more helpful than some poeple who just scream at me.
If I may ask, is there anything positive about my OC?
I hope I dont sound...desperate..but I've been recieving so much hate commenst and spam its really depressing.
Which I do not need with my current family situtation
But dont let me burden you with my problems.
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Ah no. If you're sick that may be another story.
Your gallery seems to be more composed of drawings than writings though.
Here's another bit of help. In those sentences you meant to put "you're" as in "you are" instead of "your". Those people that are flaming you either are actually bothered by this or random trolls.
I don't have her complete background on her so I cannot say. I can say one positive thing about her though. Her creator is trying.
Alright, alright don't give me that. You probably wouldn't believe how often I come across people with problems online. People have problems. That's the way life works. Without bad you can't have good; vice versa. If you want to talk about and get something off your chest you can send me a message through a private note if you wish. I'm always open to helping out.
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Yeah...
And yes, because I had the belief that I could draw....I'm not so sure about that anymore...
I see,thanks for the tip hun ^^
I have to post it up...and thank you..I really am tiring as it may be...
I know, and I feel lame for trying to use that as an excuse, I may note you,thanks again.
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All you need to do really is change the human anatomy. It's out of proportion, but after that you'd be able to start on a proper style.
Don't call me hon.(Hon is short for honey so it is properly spelled with an o) That's my thing.
You don't have to if you're exhausted. If not done for professional reasons anything online is pretty much for fun. You're welcome.
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Oh..well I suppose I should start studying tutorials then huh?
I apologize, I tend to do that a lot
I don't mean I'm tired physically. I meant emotionally, because well...I'm trying to please everyone. Which is a stupid endeavor I know. Not everyone will be happy and there will still be hate comments
But at least this will maybe stop a few y'know?
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Tutorials? No not really. Just find some realistic work and observe it. The tutorials really help, but you yourself need to learn where the lines go.
Don't be so formal and just say "LOL okay".
...actually, you can stop getting them. Just ignore them and continue on. Just don't indulge on any sort of comment besides "thank-you" or "I agree" for some time and those people will leave. Think about it. They're just sticking around for the entertainment of your reaction. Really. This is the thing you hear from teachers when you were a kid that sounds stupid but really it's true. Who would want to waste their time spamming some person they don't ever know exists?
Fighting back won't do you much jack. Simply detach yourself and enjoy doing what you do. If you want to improve your art skills look at other pieces of art. If you want to improve your writing skills look at some good pieces of written work. Go on Wikipedia sometime and look at the images for Greek Gods sometime; the painters knew what they were doing. For writing I'd recommend checking out the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" at a library. It's a great book that entertains while at the same time teachers. I also recommend reading the online fanfiction story "Death, Conflict and the Heroes of Time" at fanfiction dot net. You really don't have to play the games that fanfic is written for to understand what's happening, and it's an eye opener. Getting better at doing your hobby should be amusing, and those things I mentioned are indeed amusing.
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Ah, great idea!
Lolz okies XD
Ok, and ill definitly do that now
Ok I will
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Wait wait wait! I meant later comments! I meant that you shouldn't pay much attention to any of the comments while you're improving- just learn what to reply to and what not to. Don't go around and comment on EVERYTHING under the sun. Go read Death, Conflict, and Heroes of Time or something else.
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I understood what you meant. And I will try not too.....I'll look it up right now
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Huh alright then. Have fun!
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xD thanks again for everything!
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I'll make a putfit for her. XD I'm stalking ur gallery.
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Ok awesome! XDD I see
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XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
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how dare u get rid of her tail member thats her ujib tail thing shes no longer an ujib
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It only shows when shes angry, not constantly
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yes andi am hungry so i might leave but ill be back on later
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I like her name and the old outfit too^^
this one makes her look younger somehow...
but it is nice^^
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