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schizmatic — The Apocalypse Code
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Published: 2012-12-19 17:25:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 142; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 1
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Description
In some programming languages, numeric variables declared as an "int" require less storage, but can hold smaller ranges than those declared as a "long." A "float" can hold even larger ranges, but the Matrix machines were probably saving storage for their retro-dubstep mp3's and robo-porn.Image: [link] Page: [link]
Schizmatic - A Webcomic Of Intelligent Weirdness
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Comments: 5
"It's one !#$! variable! Add a few bytes to the code and get on with it!"
"But Big O Notation says it should be as compact and elegant as possible."
"Gaa! Fine, have it your way. But if 'elegant' turns out to be problematic in 2 billion cycles, it's all your fault."
--God talks with the Master Programmer of the Universe during the final coding process.
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"Relax -- we'll just issue a patch fix and let the 'lusers' deal with it..."
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Customer support:
Thank you for contacting Universe, Inc., your supplier of all things universal. We are proud to be your supplier for the product "Time 1.0" and your disappointment with our product is very concerning to us.
As the first paragraph of the license agreement for Time stipulates, "Use of product consistutes agreement with the license extended by Us to you, the user." Part BAA, paragraph 7, Subsection 42 states, "Any and all updates to this product must be applied by the user. Failure to apply updates absolves Universe, Inc. of all responsibility arising from or due in part to malperformance of the product." Further, Part CAB, paragraph 1, subsection 1 states, "Use of product requires connection to Universal Holonet for product updates. Customer is responsible for acquiring said connection for the purpose of downloading updates. The Universal Holonet is a separate entity from the product and no agreement is made between Us and the Customer regarding access to the Holonet at this time."
Our records show that the most recent update for this product is v.24.3.2, and it fixes the problem you are facing. This update has been available for the last 25,000 of your years on the local holonet server on the planet Saturn. We see that a Product update notification was sent to you approximately 2,000 years ago. If you will please download and install the update, your problem will be fixed. If you have problems installing the update, one of our technicians will be happy to schedule a time to assist you. Please allow for up to 24 years for service calls.
We hope this has adequately addressed your issue and wish you a very Merry Christmas.
Sincerely,
Universal Technical Support
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Epic. The service technician will probably make you wait at home in a 5000-year appointment window. XD
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