HOME | DD
Scellanis — LotR Outtakes
Published: 2007-07-12 16:23:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 5265; Favourites: 77; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
The Fellowship of the Ring Movie OuttakesGandalf tells Frodo about his ring
Gandalf snatches the envelope, throws it on the fire and watches it burn…
Frodo: “What are you doing!”
Gandalf reaches for the tongs and goes to take the ring out of the fire
Gandalf: “Oh… *bleep*… I’ve lost it!!”
Frodo bursts out giggling as Gandalf continues to poke the fire…
Director: “Cut! Props!!”
Escape on Buckleberry Ferry
The hobbits are running around in the trees shouting as the Ringwraith tries to catch them while they run for Buckleberry ferry….
Sam, Pippin and Merry get away faster and as Frodo is dancing with the Ringwraith Pippin runs straight into a tree…
Pippin: “*bleep*!!” *loud crunch as he hits the floor*
The Ringwraith falls of its horse laughing as Frodo bursts into a fit of giggles and Sam crashes into a tree trying to see what the commotion is….
Sam: “*bleep*…ouch…my nose hurts!”
Director: “Cut!”
Merry: “Aww… I missed it…” *looks sad*
Frodo is still giggling.
Later…
Frodo is running as fast as possible. Sam, Merry and Pippin are shouting at him from the drifting ferry as the Ringwraith is trying to ride him down from behind.
Frodo reaches the end of the pier and takes a running jump…
SPLASH!!
Sam: “Oops!”
Merry and Pippin burst into giggles as Sam tries to drag Frodo from the water and the Ringwraith pulls up on the pier wheezing with laughter.
Dripping Frodo: “Yeah yeah, very funny!! Bet you did that on purpose…”
Director: “Cut!”
A few hours later…
Same scene… Frodo takes a running jump and lands on the ferry…
The Ringwraith tries to stop its horse on the pier….which is wet and slimy now and the horse’s momentum carries it straight off the end…
SPLASH!!!
Ringwraith: “Screach!!”
All four hobbits are rolling around laughing…
Frodo: “Ha… Your turn to go for a swimming lesson!”
Ringwraith: “That is so not funny you know”
Director: “CUT!!”
Ringwraith: *is starting to sink because it is wearing armour* “Screach… Gurgle… Gurgle…”
Director: “Somebody get it out…and DON’T LET THAT ARMOUR RUST!!”
The Prancing Pony
Pippin: “Baggins… sure I know a Baggins…”
As Frodo runs towards him shouting “No!!” he slips and falls throwing the ring in the air and reaching out to catch it… but it misses his finger…
Frodo: “Oh *bleep*”
Pippin quickly downs his pint in one go…
Director: “CUT!! Lets go again.”
Frodo gets up and starts looking around…
Frodo: “I can’t see it…”
5 hours later…
Almost the whole crew and cast are still scouring the Prancing Pony for the ring to no avail as Pippin downs his 20th pint and disappears under a table singing merrily and giggling at nothing in particular.
Travelling to Weathertop
Director: “Action!”
Pippin: “But what about second bre… eek!!”
Merry turns around to reply and finds no Pippin.
Frodo bursts into a fit of the giggles as Pippin pulls his foot out of a rabbit hole…
Director: “Cut!”
Later…
Pippin, having just finished speaking, exchanges a glance with Merry…
An apple flies through the air and sails straight past Merry.
Merry: “*bleep*!!”
Pippin and Frodo start giggling.
Director: “CUT!! Lets go again.”
Merry catches the apple and gives it to Pippin then walks away. Another apple sails straight past Pippin who falls over laughing.
Director: “CUT!!!”
Sam (who got hit by the stray apple): “Yay! Apple fight!”
Sam throws an apple at Strider which catches Pippin in the cross fire and Frodo ducks narrowly missing an apple thrown by Merry that hits the Director on the nose.
Director: “*bleep*!!!”
A long while later…
An apple sails through the air and hits Merry square on the forehead.
Merry falls over as Pippin starts giggling…
Director: “CUT!!!”
Later…
Strider throws an apple for Merry to catch but stumbles as he does so…
Strider: “Oh *bleep*”
SMASH!!
Frodo starts giggling uncontrollably…
Director: “CUT!!”
Pippin is rolling around on the ground laughing as the camera man can be seen disentangling himself from his camera…
Gandalf’s Imprisonment
Gandalf throws himself off the top of the tower of Orthanc to land on an eagle and make his escape….
Eagle: “Oh *bleep*… wrong side….”
Gandalf: “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!” “Bleh… Ouch”
Camera zooms in to find Gandalf dangling in mid air halfway up the tower of Orthanc on his safety harness…
Director: “CUT!!”
Council of Elrond
Gimli leaps up, raises his axe and brings it down on the ring, shattering his axe…
Frodo suddenly bursts into a fit of giggles as Legolas stands up and picks up half the one ring…
Gimli: “Oops”
Director: *sighs* “Cut! Props!!”
Mines of Moria
The Fellowship is sat at the junction waiting for Gandalf to remember the path…
Frodo hears something and turns round to see Gollum climbing in the distance…
Gollum misses a footing: “Eek!! *bleep*… Uhk!!”
The whole Fellowship burst out laughing as Gollum is left dangling in mid air from his safety harness…
Director: “Cut!!”
Later…
Gandalf is reading from the book. Pippin wanders over to a skeleton sat on a well and twists the arrow…
Silence…
Everyone looks round.
Pippin twists another arrow….
Frodo starts giggling…
Pippin: “My finest moment and the *bleep* thing wont fall in!!” *wanders off sulking*
Frodo is still giggling…
Director: “CUT!! PROPS!!”
The Bridge of Khazad Dum
Gandalf: “Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Khazad Dum must answer me these questions three, ‘ere the other side he see.”
Balrog: “Ask me the questions, wizard. I’m not afraid.”
Gandalf: “What is your name?”
Balrog: “My name is Sir Balrog of the Deep, Dark Scary Places.”
Gandalf: “What is your quest?”
Balrog: “To barbequeue anyone who tries to pass through the Mines of Moria.”
Gandalf: “What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
Balrog: “A wha–Auuuuuuuugh!”
(This is what comes of watching Monty Python and then visiting a Lord of the Rings forum and finding a thread titled ‘what should have been said at the bridge of Khazad Dum’)
The Mirror of Galadriel
All is quiet, previous scene was Boromir talking to Aragorn.
Director: “Action!”
Frodo spots Galadriel walking down some steps and decides to follow.
Galadriel is delicately gliding down the steps until she accidentally stands on her pretty white dress and falls head first down the remaining steps and lands in a heap at the foot of the steps.
Director: “Cut!! Lets go again…”
Later…
Frodo, whilst struggling to keep a straight face: “What will I see?” (all he can see is Galadriel falling down those steps)
Galadriel (has spotted Frodo trying his best not to laugh): “Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror shows many things…”
Frodo suddenly snorts and bursts into giggles, Galadriel immediately follows suit and starts laughing uncontrollably.
Director: “CUT!! And for gods sake stop laughing! Galadriel doesn’t smile!!”
About 2 hours later…
Galadriel is pouring water from the jug: “Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror… Oh sugar!! I missed the basin! Sorry.”
Frodo starts giggling again.
Director: *sighs* “CUT!!”
30 minutes later…
Same scene, Galadriel is pouring water again: “Even the wisest cannot tell. For the… *bleep* sorry, I…um…trailed my sleeve in it…sorry…”
Frodo is giggling again…
Galadriel: “Aww…my arm’s all cold and wet now… “ *looks sad*
Frodo is still giggling…
Director: *groans and shifts position in his chair* “Cut”
2 hours later and 3 blown hair dryers…
Galadriel: “It’s still soggy…”
Director: “I don’t care! I just want this scene finished NOW!!”
Galadriel wanders into position looking gloomy then stumbles “Oops!! *bleep* Aww I got my dress muddy…”
Frodo is giggling again…
Legolas hits Frodo on the head with his script…
Legolas: “Comeon!! Hurry up… I wanna do a scene… Can’t I do a scene while she gets her dress washed?”
Frodo, Galadriel and Director: “NO!!!”
Much later…water pouring is finally completed…
Frodo gasps, catching his ring, and falls backwards from the mirror looking scared…
Galadriel: “I know what you saw. I… I… I’ve forgotten…”
Director: “CUT!”
Later (the director is wandering around muttering under his breath, he eventually sits down)
Later still….
Frodo has offered Galadriel the ring, she is now doing her big dramatic Dark Queen thing….
Galadriel, arms raised, advancing on Frodo… : “In place of a Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall… Bleh… *bleep*”
Galdriel vanishes from view.
Frodo falls over laughing as Galadriel can be seen attempting to disentangle herself from a tree root…
Director: *groans* “I don’t believe this!” *he buries his head in his hands and starts to cry*
Boromir’s Fall
Director: “Action!”
The Uruk Hai run off with the hobbits.
Boromir sinks to his knees, arrows sticking out of his chest as the Uruk Hai run past all round him…
Random running Uruk Hai: “Screach… *bleep*… Ouch!!” *runs straight into the kneeling Boromir and lands in a heap on top of Boromir*
Boromir: “Mmrph… Muffle… Watch where your going!!”
Lurtz, having walked up to shoot arrows at Boromir, suddenly bursts out laughing.
Director: “Cut!!”
Boromir: “You weigh a ton… Cant you go on a diet or something?”
Random Uruk Hai: *looks crestfallen* “I’ve been on a diet for over two years…” *starts crying*
Boromir: “Well…um…sorry…but…could we do crying after you GET OFF ME!!”
Random Uruk Hai: “Oh…ya…sorry” *gets up*
Boromir: “Ah…that’s much better…” *looks down* “Oops… I broke all the arrows…”
Director: *groans* “PROPS!!”
A few hours later…
Boromir is kneeling infront of Lurtz staring up at the arrow that is about to kill him…
10 minutes later…
Boromir is still staring up at the arrow.
Lurtz looks around: “Wasn’t Aragorn supposed to leap out and attack me?”
Director: “CUT!! WHERE IS ARAGORN!!”
Aragorn wanders in carrying a chocolate doughnut: “So… What’s happening?”
Director: “Grr!!!” *has gone bright red and looks like hes about to explode*
Director: “YOUR LATE!! YOUR MEANT TO BE KILLING ORC NOT DOUGHNUT!!”
Aragorn (licking fingers): “mmph…err…sorry…”
Director: “Ok, lets go again”
Boromir is kneeling down infront of Lurtz watching the arrow that’s about to kill him (and wishing he had a doughnut).
Aragorn (on time) charges into view shouting with sword raised, catches his foot on a tree root and lands face down in the mud inches from Lurtz.
Boromir bursts into a fit of the giggles as Lurtz doubles over laughing….
Director: “CUT!!”
Aragorn gingerly pulls himself to his feet.
Lurtz is rolling around laughing…
Aragorn: “Ok… I think you overdid the mud…”
Director: *groans* “MAKE UP!!”
A few hours later… Same scene
Aragorn charges in shouting and raises his sword…
Aragorn: “Oh… *bleep*… I forgot my sword!!”
Aragorn charges straight back the way he came…
Lurtz and Boromir start laughing again…
Director: “CUT!!!”
Later…
Lurtz is trying to shoot Boromir again….
Aragorn charges in shouting and…
Lurtz snorts and bursts out laughing as Boromir starts giggling.
Aragorn: “What?” *stops, sword raised, looking disappointed* “I got it right that time…” *looks sad*
Director: *sighs* “Why couldn’t I have directed Harry Potter instead??”
The Two Towers Movie Outtakes
Brego and Aragorn
Aragorn is washed up on the river bank after being dragged over a cliff by a warg.
Director: “Action!”
Brego walks over to Aragorn and attempts to eat his nose.
Aragorn flinches: “Mmmph!”
He bursts out giggling as Brego attempts to nibble his ear.
Director: “Cut! You’re meant to be unconscious…”
Aragorn (shoving Brego away from himself): “Sorry… it tickled…”
Later…
Aragorn has managed to drag himself onto Brego and Brego lurches back to his feet.
Aragorn: “*bleep*!!”
There is a loud crunch followed by more *bleep* and the camera man bursts into a fit of the giggles.
Director: “CUT!!”
Aragorn: “I’m alright, I’m alright… ouch!”
He climbs back to his feet as Brego walks away.
Explosives Scene
At Isenguard, Saruman is bent over something as Grima lurks in the background carrying a candle.
Director: “Action!”
Grima: “Helm’s Deep has but one weakness. It’s… oh *bleep*!! Water!! Help!! Put me o…” *cough* “… ut”
Someone throws a bucket of water at Grima.
Grima: “Thanks.” *sigh*
Director: “Makeup!”
Saruman smiles smugly and combs his hair.
Grima: “Very funny, maybe you should carry the candle…”
Director: “Look, just hurry up and go get a wig!” *groans*
An hour later…
Grima: “Helm’s Deep has but one weakness. It’s outer wall is solid rock except for a small culvert space which is little more than a drain.”
Saruman pours explosives into a metallic ball as Grima moves forward.
Grima (leaning over the explosives with his candle): “How? How can f…”
Saruman accidentally nudges Grima… Grima drops the candle…
Grima: “Oh *bleep*”
Saruman: “*bleep*!!” *turns round to run*
Director: “Oh *bleep*!”
LOUD BANG!!
The director groans and falls over.
Saruman slides down the far wall looking distinctly not white.
Grima can be seen still standing in position smoking and swaying gently.
Camera man: *pokes Grima* “You OK?”
Grima falls over.
A full day later… set rebuilt… fake candles found…
Grima and Saruman walk out onto the balcony of the tower of Orthanc.
Tens of thousands of uruk-hai can be seen.
Saruman: “A new power is rising. It’s victory is at hand. This night the land will be stained with the blood of Rohan! March to Helm’s Deep! Leave none a…” *cough* “… alive…” *cough* *splutter*
Grima bursts out giggling.
Saruman: “Sorry… I think I just swallowed a fly…”
Grima falls over laughing.
Director: “CUT!! Somebody get him a drink!”
Legolas on shield Scene
Director: “Action!”
Legolas sees Gimli disappear under uruk-hai and water. He leaps on a shield firing arrows as it slides down the steps.
Legolas: “*bleep*!! Aaargh!”
The shield catches on a step catapulting Legolas into the air.
Random uruk-hai: “I didn’t know elves could fly…”
SPLASH!!
Aragorn sits down and starts laughing.
Director: “CUT!!”
Gimli crawls out of the water at the same time as Legolas.
Gimli: “Typical! The elf makes a fool of himself and I miss it!”
Director: “WARDROBE!! MAKEUP!!”
Return of the King Movie Outtakes
Charge of the Oliphants scene
The oliphants (mumakil) are all lined up to begin their attack at the battle around Minas Tirith.
Director: ‘Action!!’
As the oliphants begin to charge a mouse runs across the battlefield and complete mayhem ensues…
Three hours later…
The director can be seen trying to coax the last oliphant down from the top of a seige engine.
Director: ‘It’s gone! Really… I promise…’
He throws his hands up in exasperation and turns to a crew member.
Director: ‘Do we have any oliphant treats left?’
In the background orcs and Rohirrim riders are giggling uncontrollably.
Related content
Comments: 83
I just Died. Thank you so much for this, this made my day!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oooh yes, when Galadriel "glides" down those stairs I always think the gown will trip her up.
My favorite line: "Boromir is kneeling down in front of Lurtz watching the arrow that’s about to kill him (and wishing he had a doughnut)."
And I like the part when Aragorn forgets his sword and charges right back out to get it.
And Frodo's incessant giggling...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This is so awesome, I can't even COMPUTE! I like the one with Aragorn and his donut.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LMAO! I honestly can't stop laughing! Too funny! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! OMG I couldn't stop laughing at this! It's so funny! I love it!!!!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LAMO XD -is laughing uncontrollably- I bet it took at least twenty takes to get Legolas to slide down the stairs on the shield correctly, I totally wanted the tip of the shield to get caught and him fall flat on his face (even though he's my favorite character, that would be freakin' hilarious)
--
Everyone is born an original
Don't die a copy
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
a bit too much giggling
and *bleep!*ing
but apart from that
fuckin hilarous
Instead of saying *bleep*
why not say
F*ck
and
sh*t
or
fudge
and
shiz
Be creative
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I was doing it to be like those outake shows you get on tv where they but a beep noise over the top of any swearing plus some of the forums I go on and may have wanted to post it on are PG 13 and do not allow swearing and I don;t much feel like typing it anyway, I don't swear so I'm quite happy with it the way it is because then I don't have to work out which word would have been used.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ok ok
just advice
i liked it though
twas pretty funny
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
THIS IS SO FANFREAKINGTASTIC I THINK I died laughing
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
if this dont work, im officially giving up, EH!!!!!
u been a gbig help, and the outtakes r so AWESOME, esp boromir lurtz and aragorn.. DOHNUT!!!!
xweet!
i owe u so much!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
hey wait my emoticon came up... but not where i wanted it to (-_-)
hope this works
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Look, read the list of emoticons you can use (the link I gave you last time) and then type the code for the w=one you want in every time you want to use it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
nah that dont come up on mine *cries*
why do i suck, i cnt even ask out a guy!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ok... bookmark this page: [link]
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You have an icon, well you don't its just the default one but its still an icon...and when you post a comment there is a link under it that says Emoticon Legend just above the message box or at least there is under mine every time I reply to you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
as stupid as this sounds to ask... how do u use emotions on this site, i really wanna use them but i dnt know how 
ZOMG TYHIS IS LIKE THE MOST AWESOME OUTTAKE THING EVAR!!!! XD
koweechaba!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Erm...emoticon legend....link under your icon as you post your comment.
Thank you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
holy poop on a stick, this is some bare funny stuff you got here!!! esp the apple scene!!!
do more!!! pwease
maybe i will try, if ya dont mind??
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you!
I suppose you can have a go, other people already did. Please say it was inspired by me though...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>