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Rolyo — F E A R
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#cat #vent
Published: 2018-11-25 03:05:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 579; Favourites: 60; Downloads: 0
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vent artyo, my guys, im actually pretty satisfied with this. which is weird.
rolyo: flops over, slightly dusty
rolyo: "IM OK" thumbs up
a few months ago (january or february maybe) i made a few mistakes that have been the biggest source of anxiety for me on deviantart... probably ever lmao. i try to keep a low profile (; anyway it makes me very nervous *eyebrow wiggle*
that, and i've also got issues with what people think of me. frankly i depend a bit too much on validation and I guess sometimes people just turn out that way, especially when they don't get a lot of it while their ego is developing. so sometimes it can get a bit overwhelming coupled with low self esteem and that manifests in terror??? wooh
plus i get lonely pretty easily?? And I see all these people forming relationships and having these neat little friend groups and I get a little jealous sometimes haha... i am a kid bear with me here, not very mature yet (: i don't resent them or anything but it just feels like everybody's got somebody more important y'know?? ? I feel like a lot of people could relate to me here. honestly I just want to be #1 to somebody, I want somebody to smile instinctively when they see me in the halls or grin when I text them?? that's weird i digress I'm just scared I'll stay lonely hah. I'm not too concerned in the immediate moment because my education is more important, but when i take a step back and look at all my flaws I get scared that nobody will want to stick around. ya bro
there's nothing i'm REALLY good at either! Im Uninteresting! I try not address my emotions because when I try to sort them out like i'm doing I just end up more confused lmao
anyway alec benjamin's songs make me really happy so I've been listening to him a lot. he has a super sweet and gentle voice and the stories behind his pieces are beautiful. the rhythms are so soothing and they help calm me down... 1994, outrunning karma, let me down slowly, and if we have each other are my favorites. he really.... god i love his work so much....... seriously....
I listened to all the king's horses by karmina on repeat for the beginning bit of this. i feel like the song's a pretty good representation of shadefoot's character and also what I was feeling at the time.
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Comments: 12
h0e this is the most relatable shit ive ever read in my life!!
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bIncH ID SAY I'M RELIEVED SOMEONE FEELS SIMILARLY BUT THAT'S ALSO KIND OF RUDE TBH :thinking: BLESS U BABEY IM ACTUALLY TOUCHED K..... BRB iN a Bit GOTTA CRY FOR A FEW HOUrs
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ILL CRY WITH U HANG ON LET ME GET MY COAT
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Ok first off, who allowed this illegally beautiful art ???
I am sorry but I love the sketch-ish Shading and the lineless style?
it is an A+ combination that worked perfectly with your style and I 100% loves the effect it gives off
the lines look a little pixelated but I think thats what made this look even better, it looks really neat and crisp
and it gets the point across
Also, the lighting is also on point ??? LIKE??? I STILL HAVEN"T FIGURED OUT HOW DO LIGHTS WORK?? YET??
Secondly, I think you are a wonderful wonderful Person Rol, and I 100% understand where did you come from, and you know what I think it is a Valid and normal thing, Validation is such a nice thing to receive sometimes and there's no shame in wanting it at all!
Being #1 to someone too, It is not really a thing of being immature, it is just normal things you know, maybe Adults tell you they don't feel the same way, I am telling you they are lying, Humans are social animals, we need our little clan and comfort people you know,
If you ever need someone to talk to, hEy I am always on discord and I think you are a joy to talk to, so feel free to hmu whenever really, I think you are just a really neat person in general,
I am a firm believer that Flaws are actually what made each and everyone so special, if everyone is perfect I think that would be pretty boring, I think flaws are beautiful and I will embrace it till the day I die, I don't think I see someone full of flaws when I see you, I just see this sweet nice person that I really would love to talk to more, who have so much potential and I don't just mean in the education way and what normally parents would call "potential", no not that way, just potential in life, the ability to create and have emotion, and I think you deserve to be happy to be who you are.
I think you are good at a lot of things, but you gotta realize humans are sometimes really ungrateful things!! there are things you are good at but you know what, after seeing you doing it for hundreds of time your brain just kind of normalizes it, you would think it is normal for everyone to know, but if you look at yourself in someone else's shoes one day you will notice that hey!!
I am pretty impressive
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BEAUTY TIREDNESS
dOof I love you that's why I didn't just slide into your dms with all of my problems because you're more important >: (( also this is.....v good advice and im crying internally at you right now. bless ur sweet soul??????/? rolls off a cliff idk what else to say i appreciate u
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OH MY GOD
it is Aesthetic fatigue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEll but my Dms are always open if you ever want to talk!
because I think you are important too and you should learn to take care of yourself
if you need to talk then talk
bc trust me I will always be here
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SUFFOCATES
PINE WHAT DID WE DISCUSS
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