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Description

📦❝ Do you want to be delivered to your grandma in a body bag? No?
Then schleich dich. ❞

╚ »【BASIC INFORMATION】🛵
🔷 [Name] Michael O. Merzbach**
🔷 [Nicknames] Mike, nothing else, DO NOT call him Mikey, Micycle, Big Mike, Baby Got Bach, MOM, or any variation there of or he will end you
**DO NOT ask about his middle name either ;; he'll never tell you, not in a million trillion years

🔷 [Age] 21
🔷 [D.O.B] January 18th (Capricorn ♑)
🔷 [Gender] Male

🔷 [Height//Weight] 6'0" (184 cm) ┊ 169 lbs (76 kg)
🔷 [Blood Type] A

🔷 [Nationality // Race] American ┊ German
🔷 [Sexuality] Demisexual ┊ Grayromantic

📦 [Occupation] Delivery Courier
🔷 [Street] Blue Crest
╚ »【PERSONAL】🛵
▀▄▀▄▀▄ [CHARACTERISTICS] ▄▀▄▀▄▀

Courageous ┊ Dedicated ┊ Independent ┊ Inventive ┊ Stoic

They say there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and Mike just so happens to drive on that line at full speed. Whether he goes looking for trouble or trouble goes looking for him, Mike is fearless in the face of imminent danger. He's very confident in his self-defense skills against adversaries of any size, shape, or form and he wouldn't hesitate to use either of his main weapons in a fight when need be. He might even be inclined to use some dirty tricks if he felt like they played into his favor.

Mike's dauntless nature also works well with his job as a delivery courier. He isn't exactly your typical errand boy ;; besides the standard everyday packages you would normally find in the mail, he has delivered plenty of not-so-normal items that could make the average person either faint in shock or gag in disgust. Nonetheless, as long as his client pays a hefty amount, Mike doesn't care about any morally/scientifically questionable products he delivers. Once he accepts a request, he's committed to fulfilling it successfully and seeing it through at any cost.

Furthermore, Mike is described as a lone wolf by most people who have met him. He doesn't rely on others for help, working best alone than in a group, and is pretty used to taking care of himself. His independent lifestyle though is more out of survival than by choice, since he was taught early on that you can't trust anyone but yourself to get you through the darkest nights. With this belief firmly planted in his mind, Mike learned how to endure pain and hardship on his own. He keeps a poker face of pure indifference during intensely emotional situations while his default facial expression seems to be a perpetual serious scowl. (Just the thought of him ever truly smiling is next to impossible. The muscles in the corners of his mouth have literally not lifted in years ;; they're probably broken at this point.)

Lastly, Mike is an outstanding creative thinker, surprisingly enough. He doesn't show this side of himself often, but when he does, he usually pours his innovative prowess into things such as high-pressure predicaments, repairing vehicle damage/malfunctions, or other interesting endeavors. Or just a long, looong string of colorful threats to his enemies. Whichever comes first. Aggressive ┊ Outspoken ┊ Perfectionist ┊ Stubborn ┊ Unpredictable
lt doesn't take much to provoke Mike. Insulting his intelligence or his precious moped or his job performance generally does the trick. Once he's given a good reason to be confrontational, he doesn't hold back ;; and if it's really bad, his wrath is most definitely a force to be reckoned with. But the times when he's ever gotten majorly furious at someone else are few and far between, and even then, he's never actually unleashed the full extent of his rage. Not yet at least.

Mike isn't afraid to voice his own opinions either. He has a whole mountain of unpopular opinions like, "You pour milk in the bowl first, then the cereal", "Cats are overrated", "Treasure Planet is underrated", "Christmas is the worst holiday of the year", "Puns should be banned", etc. He will also state straight up how he feels about you and why your opinions are all wrong compared to his own, even when they're right. Because his pride is way more important than conceding defeat to his opponent. Hence, his stubbornness makes him difficult to deal with sometimes.

Perfectionism runs through Mike's veins for several reasons. He can't NOT clean every nook and cranny of his house nor polish every tiny dirty spec off his precious motorbike until they're completely spotless. He won't feel accomplished if he doesn't finish his tasks properly and will curse himself out for not being good enough, especially with his job. When he tries his best yet still fails to fulfill a delivery request, it hits him hard and he ends up punishing himself by either starving himself, depriving himself of sleep, or both. Bottom line, mistakes and flaws are unacceptable in his eyes.

Mike can be a bit of a wild card. Making friends isn't exactly high on his priority list, but he will form connections with others when it suits him. It doesn't mean he'll stay loyal to them though ;; you could be his best buddy one day, and the next day, he moved on to someone better. Or he could be working for a client, but a different client had offered him a much higher price, so he instantly cancels out the first request. It's really nothing personal ;; just once a relationship is no longer beneficial to him, he cuts ties with them without a trace of guilt. It all depends on his mood and who has the bigger wallet for him. Abrasive ┊ Aloof ┊ Cynical ┊ Insecure ┊ Judgemental
Mike's reputation as a stone cold, insensitive, unapologetic prick comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. Approaching him is like marching straight into the world's worst blizzard ;; brutally harsh and deadly. Guaranteed to ruin your day. He claims he doesn't care about other people's fragile wimpy feelings and is only concerned about himself. He's an expert at shutting off his emotions too with just a flick of a metaphorical switch. Thus, if the situation calls for it, he can easily detach himself from others, behaving apathetic and unperturbed towards them.

In truth though, Mike has some seriously low self-esteem. With a history of people abandoning him or leaving his life entirely, he has come to terms with the fact that he's destined to be nothing more than a hopeless disappointment and a failure to his loved ones. So why even bother making any permanent relationships? If it wasn't for his client base and something else, he might have already succumbed to his own suicidal thoughts a long time ago.

Mike does yearn for true companionship way deep down inside of him, but he's also quite the cynic ;; he believes people are generally selfish when it comes to anything really -- money, fame, power, love. They'll do anything or say anything to rise to the top or to satisfy their own desires, and of course, he's no exception. That's why he always keeps his guard up around those with suspiciously innocent intentions ;; his distrustful and critical demeanor is his first line of defense against potential threats in disguise.

▀▄▀▄▀▄ [INTERESTS] ▄▀▄▀▄▀

✔️ LIKES ✔️

✔ Traveling
✔ Picking fights (in his favor)
✔ Exercising
✔ Money
✔ His moped
✔ Reibekuchen / Kartoffelpuffer (Potato pancakes)
✔ Being organized
✔ Sharp objects
✔ Solitude
✔ Raop music (rap & pop)
✔ █████

❌ DISLIKES ❌

X Socializing
X Physical affection
X Idiotic trending challenges
X Delivering heavy packages
X Expensive vehicle repairs
X Romantic comedies
X Waking up early
X Complimenting people
X Admitting he's wrong
X Losing fights
X Bad jokes
X Poltergeists
X Being abandoned by those he trusts
X CATS and somewhat dogs

💎  HOBBIES // TALENTS  💎

✧ Crushing other people's hopes & dreams
✧ Fixing / upgrading his moped
✧ Krav Maga (incorporates knife & whip wielding)
✧ Best Delivery Boy of The Century
✧ ??? {REDACTED}

╚ »【HISTORY】🛵

➽ [Reason for moving] To move in with his uncle and live a better life
➽ [How long they have lived in town] 13+ years

In the bustling city of Vancouver, Washington, Mike was born in the backseat of a taxi cab on the way to a local hospital. As a child, Mike was kind, curious, and eager to learn more about the world around him. He attended Endeavour Elementary School, where his father was the principal while his mother mainly stayed at home. Mike and his parents would spend quality time together at places like the Esther Short Park and the Pearson Air Museum. His father would sometimes treat them all to ice cream and teach his son how to skip stones on the waters of the Columbia River at the end of the day. On the outside, they looked like any normal American family, but behind closed doors, the truth was far more disturbing.

Although Mike played the role of son, he actually acted more of a mother to his own mother. He had to feed his mother every morning before going to school, help her do dishes and laundry, cook dinner, clean the house, brush her hair, and so on. He tried to imitate the love that he read in fictional books and saw on family sitcom shows. However, his affectionate gestures for his mother would always be unreciprocated and met with a pitifully cold, vacant stare. She was silent, withdrawn, distant ;; just a hollow shell of her former bright self before she married his father. His father acted like the perfect loving family man, but he was in fact very controlling and dominating in a dangerously calm way. Using a sickeningly sweet tone, his father would force his mother to obey his every command. "Won't you wear this dress instead for me, dear?" or "You know honey, I think this red lipstick would look pretty on you. I know you hate red, but I LOVE red. Don't you agree?"

His father never physically abused her or Mike. It's just that his mother was a complete pushover and didn't dare to upset her husband, for fear of him breaking her heart by sleeping with another woman again. She had an incredibly unhealthy dependence on him for validation and self-esteem ;; she was only beautiful and worthy when his father deemed her to be beautiful and worthy. And she was ugly and pathetic when his father declared her to be ugly and pathetic. He had her wrapped around his little finger and Mike was too young to understand at the time that his parents' relationship was immensely toxic and unethical. Therefore, he was raised to believe that their type of love was normal.

On his 8th birthday, the unthinkable happened: Mike came home to find his mother gone. All of her belongings had vanished, almost as if she never even existed. His father blamed him for her disappearance and told him that, "Mommy left us because she got fed up with you. Didn't you know? She knew the truth all along; you're not really her child. If only you had been a better son to her, then maybe she would still be with us right now."

Mike was in fact the illegitimate child of one of his father's affairs, which was why his mother never fully returned his love for her. Shocked and utterly devastated, Mike ran away to the nearest park and stayed there until night fell, grieving his heart out. Soon, he was approached by a man in a trenchcoat who introduced himself as his uncle on his mother's side and a private investigator (P.I.), Eitan Sokolsky. Uncle Eitan explained that his mother had been relocated to a much safer place, away from her toxic husband, and if he ever wanted to see her again, Mike would have to prove his worth first by working for his uncle in a little isolated town called Lichbarrow. Determined to reunite with his mother, Mike earnestly accepted his uncle's proposition and they left for Lichbarrow a few days later. His father eventually resigned from his position as principal of Endeavour Elementary School and was never heard from again.

Growing up, Mike went from being this super sweet, enthusiastic kid, to an ill-tempered, troublemaking teenager. He got into a lot of fights at school, most of them he claimed he didn't even start first, but the teenage boy ultimately became a little too acquainted with the principal of Lichbarrow High and the teacher in charge of detention. At one point, he got suspended for three weeks after breaking another boy's arm, but in his defense, he was only trying to protect a different student from a group of bullies. Fortunately, his Uncle Eitan had a serious discussion with the bully's parents and they did not press charges against him. Mike however still received a personal punishment from his uncle and by the time he came back to school, he mellowed out significantly and focused more on his studies so that he could properly graduate. His destructive reputation consequently earned him conflicting views among his peers, which were equal parts fear and disgust. Regardless, he always had difficulty making friends and had no idea how to respond to the few crazy people who apparently had romantic feelings for him, so he simply kept to himself, avoiding as much social interaction as he possibly could.

After graduating from Lichbarrow High School, he assisted his Uncle Eitan with his private investigation assignments for a while ;; primarily ones that involved the mysterious, supposedly paranormal occurences tied to Lichbarrow's lore. His uncle had hoped to raise him to be the next great P.I. in his place, but when Mike took up a courier service business instead, he was naturally disappointed and frustrated. They had a dispute about Mike's future, yet his uncle grudgingly backed down and supported Mike's newfound calling in the end. He helped set up some clients for Mike to jumpstart his business and gave him his old moped as a departing present to ease any hard feelings before he left for an important assignment in Guam. The mortgage to their house on Blue Crest had already been paid in full, so Mike merely had to pay off the utility bills. To this day, he receives postcards and letters from his Uncle Eitan from time to time.

╚ »【EXTRA】🛵

➽ [TRIVIA]
◆ 🎼 Themes: (1) | (2) | (3)
◆ 🎤 Voice Claim: Red Hood [Jensen Ackles]

◆ 📦 Delivery Business: Mike used to work part-time as a delivery boy for a pizzeria called 'Pizza Stacks', but quit the job because he couldn't stand his idiotic obnoxious co-workers anymore. He switched to being an independent contractor delivery courier instead and with the help of his uncle's network connections, he built an impressive client base for his business. What sets his business apart from other courier services is that he's willing to deliver virtually anything, no matter how sketchy/shady it may be, unless the packaged product somehow inflicts bodily harm onto him, in which he immediately returns it to the sender and demands compensation. His delivery rates vary from job to job, depending on the size of the package, how many miles are used, and how much time it takes to deliver it from the sender to the recipient. Items under 50 pounds are charged the standard delivery charge while items over 50 pounds are charged 10 cents extra per pound. Rush orders and/or late-night deliveries have a $25 surcharge.

◆ 💪 Fighting Style: At the age of eight years old and onward, Mike was taught Krav Maga by his Uncle Eitan since he was a former Krav Maga instructor for the German division and wanted Mike to learn self-defense in the event that he could not protect him himself. Krav Maga is a tactical mixed-martial art/combative and self-defense system that combines boxing, judo, jujitsu, and aikido. Its primary purpose is to neutralize threats as quickly as possible with a rapid continuous set of aggressive defensive and offensive movements. Furthermore, Mike's uncle taught him later on how to incorporate weapons into Krav Maga techniques, as well as how to improvise and use any object at his disposal as a weapon such as chairs, pens, keys, and belts. That being said, his belt buckle is actually a hidden knife and his leather chain with the diamond tip at the end is more than just a fashion accessory.

◆ 🛵 Moped: His first ever vehicle. A farewell gift from his Uncle Eitan.
-Nicknamed it 'Ike'
  - Ironically, he hates the fruit-flavored candies, 'Mike & Ike'
  - "I want real fruit, not this artificial garbage"
  - His moped is a light blue used Vespa LX50 2005 model shown here: (1) | (2) | (3)
  - If you lay a single scratch on it, you just earned yourself a one-way ticket to hell

◆ 🎒 Two Backpacks: A dark purple backpack with white-striped shoulder straps and a plain black backpack.
  - The dark purple one is his work backpack ;; usually carries things such as important letters, documents, small parcels, etc.
  - The plain black one is his recreational backpack ;; usually carries.....recreational things.

◆ More Quotes:
  - "That's Mister Douchebag Delivery Boy to you."
- "What the hell does 'git gud' mean?"
  - "....Huh? Were you talking to me? Sorry, I was too busy ignoring your existence. And by 'sorry', I mean I'm not sorry at all."
  - "Jokes on you, no one hates me more than I hate me."
  - "I'm not a hero. But just because I'm not a hero, it doesn't mean I don't know how to act like one."
- "Sure, I've got redeeming qualities. I just choose not to use them."
- "I bet your dick is as limp as Salvador Dali's clocks."
- "Speak up, I can't hear you over the sound of your own head up your microscopic shit chute."
- "If you say 'mike drop' one more time, I swear to Krampus I'll personally drop kick you and your children and your children's children to the next afterlife."
  - "Nobody gives a damn about your little sob story. If they do, they only want something from you in return. That's just the way the world works."

◆ Other:
- Fluent in both German and English
- Terribly allergic to cats and certain dog breeds ;; will sneeze and wheeze uncontrollably and possibly get a nasty rash upon skin contact
- Knows how to play the Glokenspiel (a therapeutic method encouraged by Chime )
  - His natural hair color is a golden blonde, but he dyed it a gray ash blonde instead, with a few faded green and blue colored strands in his bangs
  - Prefers to be the designated driver than get himself wasted over stupid alcohol ;; although if you challenge him to a drinking contest, he won't back down

➽ [RP PREFERENCES]
◆ Discord | dA Notes | EST (Eastern Standard Time) | Lit | Semi-Lit | Headcanons
◆ Length-matching is not necessary, as long as there's enough in your response to reply to
◆ NSFW themes are perfectly fine with me (gore / body horror in moderation)
◆ I normally adore shipping, but with Mike, he might be a much more difficult guy to ship with tbh or taken by the hag coughs
◆ Please do not rush me for replies, but a gentle reminder is always welcomed!
◆ HAVE FUN <333

✨ [CREDITS] ✨
Mike Merzbach (c) reynadia & bff darkwolf (for inspiration and brainstorming)
Mike's OG Adopt Design (c) namqshop
Application (c) RainyDays-RP

Description

📦❝ Do you want to be delivered to your grandma in a body bag? No?
Then schleich dich. ❞

╚ »【BASIC INFORMATION】🛵
🔷 [Name] Michael O. Merzbach**
🔷 [Nicknames] Mike, nothing else, DO NOT call him Mikey, Micycle, Big Mike, Baby Got Bach, MOM, or any variation there of or he will end you
**DO NOT ask about his middle name either ;; he'll never tell you, not in a million trillion years

🔷 [Age] 21
🔷 [D.O.B] January 18th (Capricorn ♑)
🔷 [Gender] Male

🔷 [Height//Weight] 6'0" (184 cm) ┊ 169 lbs (76 kg)
🔷 [Blood Type] A

🔷 [Nationality // Race] American ┊ German
🔷 [Sexuality] Demisexual ┊ Grayromantic

📦 [Occupation] Delivery Courier
🔷 [Street] Blue Crest
╚ »【PERSONAL】🛵
▀▄▀▄▀▄ [CHARACTERISTICS] ▄▀▄▀▄▀

Courageous ┊ Dedicated ┊ Independent ┊ Inventive ┊ Stoic

They say there's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and Mike just so happens to drive on that line at full speed. Whether he goes looking for trouble or trouble goes looking for him, Mike is fearless in the face of imminent danger. He's very confident in his self-defense skills against adversaries of any size, shape, or form and he wouldn't hesitate to use either of his main weapons in a fight when need be. He might even be inclined to use some dirty tricks if he felt like they played into his favor.

Mike's dauntless nature also works well with his job as a delivery courier. He isn't exactly your typical errand boy ;; besides the standard everyday packages you would normally find in the mail, he has delivered plenty of not-so-normal items that could make the average person either faint in shock or gag in disgust. Nonetheless, as long as his client pays a hefty amount, Mike doesn't care about any morally/scientifically questionable products he delivers. Once he accepts a request, he's committed to fulfilling it successfully and seeing it through at any cost.

Furthermore, Mike is described as a lone wolf by most people who have met him. He doesn't rely on others for help, working best alone than in a group, and is pretty used to taking care of himself. His independent lifestyle though is more out of survival than by choice, since he was taught early on that you can't trust anyone but yourself to get you through the darkest nights. With this belief firmly planted in his mind, Mike learned how to endure pain and hardship on his own. He keeps a poker face of pure indifference during intensely emotional situations while his default facial expression seems to be a perpetual serious scowl. (Just the thought of him ever truly smiling is next to impossible. The muscles in the corners of his mouth have literally not lifted in years ;; they're probably broken at this point.)

Lastly, Mike is an outstanding creative thinker, surprisingly enough. He doesn't show this side of himself often, but when he does, he usually pours his innovative prowess into things such as high-pressure predicaments, repairing vehicle damage/malfunctions, or other interesting endeavors. Or just a long, looong string of colorful threats to his enemies. Whichever comes first. Aggressive ┊ Outspoken ┊ Perfectionist ┊ Stubborn ┊ Unpredictable
lt doesn't take much to provoke Mike. Insulting his intelligence or his precious moped or his job performance generally does the trick. Once he's given a good reason to be confrontational, he doesn't hold back ;; and if it's really bad, his wrath is most definitely a force to be reckoned with. But the times when he's ever gotten majorly furious at someone else are few and far between, and even then, he's never actually unleashed the full extent of his rage. Not yet at least.

Mike isn't afraid to voice his own opinions either. He has a whole mountain of unpopular opinions like, "You pour milk in the bowl first, then the cereal", "Cats are overrated", "Treasure Planet is underrated", "Christmas is the worst holiday of the year", "Puns should be banned", etc. He will also state straight up how he feels about you and why your opinions are all wrong compared to his own, even when they're right. Because his pride is way more important than conceding defeat to his opponent. Hence, his stubbornness makes him difficult to deal with sometimes.

Perfectionism runs through Mike's veins for several reasons. He can't NOT clean every nook and cranny of his house nor polish every tiny dirty spec off his precious motorbike until they're completely spotless. He won't feel accomplished if he doesn't finish his tasks properly and will curse himself out for not being good enough, especially with his job. When he tries his best yet still fails to fulfill a delivery request, it hits him hard and he ends up punishing himself by either starving himself, depriving himself of sleep, or both. Bottom line, mistakes and flaws are unacceptable in his eyes.

Mike can be a bit of a wild card. Making friends isn't exactly high on his priority list, but he will form connections with others when it suits him. It doesn't mean he'll stay loyal to them though ;; you could be his best buddy one day, and the next day, he moved on to someone better. Or he could be working for a client, but a different client had offered him a much higher price, so he instantly cancels out the first request. It's really nothing personal ;; just once a relationship is no longer beneficial to him, he cuts ties with them without a trace of guilt. It all depends on his mood and who has the bigger wallet for him. Abrasive ┊ Aloof ┊ Cynical ┊ Insecure ┊ Judgemental
Mike's reputation as a stone cold, insensitive, unapologetic prick comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. Approaching him is like marching straight into the world's worst blizzard ;; brutally harsh and deadly. Guaranteed to ruin your day. He claims he doesn't care about other people's fragile wimpy feelings and is only concerned about himself. He's an expert at shutting off his emotions too with just a flick of a metaphorical switch. Thus, if the situation calls for it, he can easily detach himself from others, behaving apathetic and unperturbed towards them.

In truth though, Mike has some seriously low self-esteem. With a history of people abandoning him or leaving his life entirely, he has come to terms with the fact that he's destined to be nothing more than a hopeless disappointment and a failure to his loved ones. So why even bother making any permanent relationships? If it wasn't for his client base and something else, he might have already succumbed to his own suicidal thoughts a long time ago.

Mike does yearn for true companionship way deep down inside of him, but he's also quite the cynic ;; he believes people are generally selfish when it comes to anything really -- money, fame, power, love. They'll do anything or say anything to rise to the top or to satisfy their own desires, and of course, he's no exception. That's why he always keeps his guard up around those with suspiciously innocent intentions ;; his distrustful and critical demeanor is his first line of defense against potential threats in disguise.

▀▄▀▄▀▄ [INTERESTS] ▄▀▄▀▄▀

✔️ LIKES ✔️

✔ Traveling
✔ Picking fights (in his favor)
✔ Exercising
✔ Money
✔ His moped
✔ Reibekuchen / Kartoffelpuffer (Potato pancakes)
✔ Being organized
✔ Sharp objects
✔ Solitude
✔ Raop music (rap & pop)
✔ █████

❌ DISLIKES ❌

X Socializing
X Physical affection
X Idiotic trending challenges
X Delivering heavy packages
X Expensive vehicle repairs
X Romantic comedies
X Waking up early
X Complimenting people
X Admitting he's wrong
X Losing fights
X Bad jokes
X Poltergeists
X Being abandoned by those he trusts
X CATS and somewhat dogs

💎  HOBBIES // TALENTS  💎

✧ Crushing other people's hopes & dreams
✧ Fixing / upgrading his moped
✧ Krav Maga (incorporates knife & whip wielding)
✧ Best Delivery Boy of The Century
✧ ??? {REDACTED}

╚ »【HISTORY】🛵

➽ [Reason for moving] To move in with his uncle and live a better life
➽ [How long they have lived in town] 13+ years

In the bustling city of Vancouver, Washington, Mike was born in the backseat of a taxi cab on the way to a local hospital. As a child, Mike was kind, curious, and eager to learn more about the world around him. He attended Endeavour Elementary School, where his father was the principal while his mother mainly stayed at home. Mike and his parents would spend quality time together at places like the Esther Short Park and the Pearson Air Museum. His father would sometimes treat them all to ice cream and teach his son how to skip stones on the waters of the Columbia River at the end of the day. On the outside, they looked like any normal American family, but behind closed doors, the truth was far more disturbing.

Although Mike played the role of son, he actually acted more of a mother to his own mother. He had to feed his mother every morning before going to school, help her do dishes and laundry, cook dinner, clean the house, brush her hair, and so on. He tried to imitate the love that he read in fictional books and saw on family sitcom shows. However, his affectionate gestures for his mother would always be unreciprocated and met with a pitifully cold, vacant stare. She was silent, withdrawn, distant ;; just a hollow shell of her former bright self before she married his father. His father acted like the perfect loving family man, but he was in fact very controlling and dominating in a dangerously calm way. Using a sickeningly sweet tone, his father would force his mother to obey his every command. "Won't you wear this dress instead for me, dear?" or "You know honey, I think this red lipstick would look pretty on you. I know you hate red, but I LOVE red. Don't you agree?"

His father never physically abused her or Mike. It's just that his mother was a complete pushover and didn't dare to upset her husband, for fear of him breaking her heart by sleeping with another woman again. She had an incredibly unhealthy dependence on him for validation and self-esteem ;; she was only beautiful and worthy when his father deemed her to be beautiful and worthy. And she was ugly and pathetic when his father declared her to be ugly and pathetic. He had her wrapped around his little finger and Mike was too young to understand at the time that his parents' relationship was immensely toxic and unethical. Therefore, he was raised to believe that their type of love was normal.

On his 8th birthday, the unthinkable happened: Mike came home to find his mother gone. All of her belongings had vanished, almost as if she never even existed. His father blamed him for her disappearance and told him that, "Mommy left us because she got fed up with you. Didn't you know? She knew the truth all along; you're not really her child. If only you had been a better son to her, then maybe she would still be with us right now."

Mike was in fact the illegitimate child of one of his father's affairs, which was why his mother never fully returned his love for her. Shocked and utterly devastated, Mike ran away to the nearest park and stayed there until night fell, grieving his heart out. Soon, he was approached by a man in a trenchcoat who introduced himself as his uncle on his mother's side and a private investigator (P.I.), Eitan Sokolsky. Uncle Eitan explained that his mother had been relocated to a much safer place, away from her toxic husband, and if he ever wanted to see her again, Mike would have to prove his worth first by working for his uncle in a little isolated town called Lichbarrow. Determined to reunite with his mother, Mike earnestly accepted his uncle's proposition and they left for Lichbarrow a few days later. His father eventually resigned from his position as principal of Endeavour Elementary School and was never heard from again.

Growing up, Mike went from being this super sweet, enthusiastic kid, to an ill-tempered, troublemaking teenager. He got into a lot of fights at school, most of them he claimed he didn't even start first, but the teenage boy ultimately became a little too acquainted with the principal of Lichbarrow High and the teacher in charge of detention. At one point, he got suspended for three weeks after breaking another boy's arm, but in his defense, he was only trying to protect a different student from a group of bullies. Fortunately, his Uncle Eitan had a serious discussion with the bully's parents and they did not press charges against him. Mike however still received a personal punishment from his uncle and by the time he came back to school, he mellowed out significantly and focused more on his studies so that he could properly graduate. His destructive reputation consequently earned him conflicting views among his peers, which were equal parts fear and disgust. Regardless, he always had difficulty making friends and had no idea how to respond to the few crazy people who apparently had romantic feelings for him, so he simply kept to himself, avoiding as much social interaction as he possibly could.

After graduating from Lichbarrow High School, he assisted his Uncle Eitan with his private investigation assignments for a while ;; primarily ones that involved the mysterious, supposedly paranormal occurences tied to Lichbarrow's lore. His uncle had hoped to raise him to be the next great P.I. in his place, but when Mike took up a courier service business instead, he was naturally disappointed and frustrated. They had a dispute about Mike's future, yet his uncle grudgingly backed down and supported Mike's newfound calling in the end. He helped set up some clients for Mike to jumpstart his business and gave him his old moped as a departing present to ease any hard feelings before he left for an important assignment in Guam. The mortgage to their house on Blue Crest had already been paid in full, so Mike merely had to pay off the utility bills. To this day, he receives postcards and letters from his Uncle Eitan from time to time.

╚ »【EXTRA】🛵

➽ [TRIVIA]
◆ 🎼 Themes: (1) | (2) | (3)
◆ 🎤 Voice Claim: Red Hood [Jensen Ackles]

◆ 📦 Delivery Business: Mike used to work part-time as a delivery boy for a pizzeria called 'Pizza Stacks', but quit the job because he couldn't stand his idiotic obnoxious co-workers anymore. He switched to being an independent contractor delivery courier instead and with the help of his uncle's network connections, he built an impressive client base for his business. What sets his business apart from other courier services is that he's willing to deliver virtually anything, no matter how sketchy/shady it may be, unless the packaged product somehow inflicts bodily harm onto him, in which he immediately returns it to the sender and demands compensation. His delivery rates vary from job to job, depending on the size of the package, how many miles are used, and how much time it takes to deliver it from the sender to the recipient. Items under 50 pounds are charged the standard delivery charge while items over 50 pounds are charged 10 cents extra per pound. Rush orders and/or late-night deliveries have a $25 surcharge.

◆ 💪 Fighting Style: At the age of eight years old and onward, Mike was taught Krav Maga by his Uncle Eitan since he was a former Krav Maga instructor for the German division and wanted Mike to learn self-defense in the event that he could not protect him himself. Krav Maga is a tactical mixed-martial art/combative and self-defense system that combines boxing, judo, jujitsu, and aikido. Its primary purpose is to neutralize threats as quickly as possible with a rapid continuous set of aggressive defensive and offensive movements. Furthermore, Mike's uncle taught him later on how to incorporate weapons into Krav Maga techniques, as well as how to improvise and use any object at his disposal as a weapon such as chairs, pens, keys, and belts. That being said, his belt buckle is actually a hidden knife and his leather chain with the diamond tip at the end is more than just a fashion accessory.

◆ 🛵 Moped: His first ever vehicle. A farewell gift from his Uncle Eitan.
-Nicknamed it 'Ike'
  - Ironically, he hates the fruit-flavored candies, 'Mike & Ike'
  - "I want real fruit, not this artificial garbage"
  - His moped is a light blue used Vespa LX50 2005 model shown here: (1) | (2) | (3)
  - If you lay a single scratch on it, you just earned yourself a one-way ticket to hell

◆ 🎒 Two Backpacks: A dark purple backpack with white-striped shoulder straps and a plain black backpack.
  - The dark purple one is his work backpack ;; usually carries things such as important letters, documents, small parcels, etc.
  - The plain black one is his recreational backpack ;; usually carries.....recreational things.

◆ More Quotes:
  - "That's Mister Douchebag Delivery Boy to you."
- "What the hell does 'git gud' mean?"
  - "....Huh? Were you talking to me? Sorry, I was too busy ignoring your existence. And by 'sorry', I mean I'm not sorry at all."
  - "Jokes on you, no one hates me more than I hate me."
  - "I'm not a hero. But just because I'm not a hero, it doesn't mean I don't know how to act like one."
- "Sure, I've got redeeming qualities. I just choose not to use them."
- "I bet your dick is as limp as Salvador Dali's clocks."
- "Speak up, I can't hear you over the sound of your own head up your microscopic shit chute."
- "If you say 'mike drop' one more time, I swear to Krampus I'll personally drop kick you and your children and your children's children to the next afterlife."
  - "Nobody gives a damn about your little sob story. If they do, they only want something from you in return. That's just the way the world works."

◆ Other:
- Fluent in both German and English
- Terribly allergic to cats and certain dog breeds ;; will sneeze and wheeze uncontrollably and possibly get a nasty rash upon skin contact
- Knows how to play the Glokenspiel (a therapeutic method encouraged by Chime )
  - His natural hair color is a golden blonde, but he dyed it a gray ash blonde instead, with a few faded green and blue colored strands in his bangs
  - Prefers to be the designated driver than get himself wasted over stupid alcohol ;; although if you challenge him to a drinking contest, he won't back down

➽ [RP PREFERENCES]
◆ Discord | dA Notes | EST (Eastern Standard Time) | Lit | Semi-Lit | Headcanons
◆ Length-matching is not necessary, as long as there's enough in your response to reply to
◆ NSFW themes are perfectly fine with me (gore / body horror in moderation)
◆ I normally adore shipping, but with Mike, he might be a much more difficult guy to ship with tbh or taken by the hag coughs
◆ Please do not rush me for replies, but a gentle reminder is always welcomed!
◆ HAVE FUN <333

✨ [CREDITS] ✨
Mike Merzbach (c) reynadia & bff darkwolf (for inspiration and brainstorming)
Mike's OG Adopt Design (c) namqshop
Application (c) RainyDays-RP