sachamp45 [2008-07-24 18:26:32 +0000 UTC]
I love your poetry. It's a sweet sadness. I think that you should make
"You paint your lips blue
and pretend to be dead,
hide away from the sun"
a sentence and
"bottle air and drink despair
in your basement apartment
until the words bleed from
your pen and wrists"
another sentence and cross out the "and" on the next line. Your work is beautiful.
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RavenForever In reply to sachamp45 [2008-07-24 21:20:35 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. (: I have a habit of making my poems one really long sentence, but it's just my style. Thanks for the idea though.
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