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Description
This drawing was created two years ago, when I felt that I lost the connection with my happy self who is not suffer from bad thoughts every day, almost every hour.

It was because I lost my grandma, who raised me up. The people who was next to me in this time didn't know me long ago, so it was a difficult situation to everyone. I was afraid that I will lose everyone if I am not smile and I am not act cool. I wanted to be the strongest in the family too, who help to others in our loss.

There was a time, when I was in the park with others and some random people joined us too and we talked a lot.
But I was shocked about the fact, that I have no one who can see that I need a deep conversation.
I couldn't laugh truly, I couldn't relax truly and I was not able to cry truly.
So, we was in the park and I started to see this dark figure the side of my view. I felt that I can't tell anyone that I almost have a panic attack...

So I just tried to remind myself, that even if I have a lot of trauma, the deepest wish in my heart, to be on the Earth and heal. That those things happens because you can grown from it.
You can choose how you convert your energy...

Even this was clear, I couldn't let go the fact, that I almost went crazy and nobody saw it but this dark shadow saw it and waited it to happen...

So I thought that I need to convert this experience in to art, if I don't feel safe to speak about this to anyone.

After that I finished this drawing, I didn't saw the black shadow who followed me that night.

And I can show you and talk to you about this experience.

How it felt to me to be in an emotional bubble after my lovely grandma's death.

Description
This drawing was created two years ago, when I felt that I lost the connection with my happy self who is not suffer from bad thoughts every day, almost every hour.

It was because I lost my grandma, who raised me up. The people who was next to me in this time didn't know me long ago, so it was a difficult situation to everyone. I was afraid that I will lose everyone if I am not smile and I am not act cool. I wanted to be the strongest in the family too, who help to others in our loss.

There was a time, when I was in the park with others and some random people joined us too and we talked a lot.
But I was shocked about the fact, that I have no one who can see that I need a deep conversation.
I couldn't laugh truly, I couldn't relax truly and I was not able to cry truly.
So, we was in the park and I started to see this dark figure the side of my view. I felt that I can't tell anyone that I almost have a panic attack...

So I just tried to remind myself, that even if I have a lot of trauma, the deepest wish in my heart, to be on the Earth and heal. That those things happens because you can grown from it.
You can choose how you convert your energy...

Even this was clear, I couldn't let go the fact, that I almost went crazy and nobody saw it but this dark shadow saw it and waited it to happen...

So I thought that I need to convert this experience in to art, if I don't feel safe to speak about this to anyone.

After that I finished this drawing, I didn't saw the black shadow who followed me that night.

And I can show you and talk to you about this experience.

How it felt to me to be in an emotional bubble after my lovely grandma's death.