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poae — Poae - Whisper
Published: 2007-01-12 21:00:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 299; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 2
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Description
I want to say that I love youbut those words don't come out the same anymore
they seem to faulter on my tongue and find some uneasy sense of fidget in my breath
I want to say I need you right now
but the words come in such a vain hypocrisy of my time
they choke themselves back into my throat because I can't be around to need
I want to say I want you
but the words seem stained and uncontrollably tainted by other endeavors
they curl up into the shadows of my heart and cover themselves back in the dust
But oh how such words are so persistent
how they tantalize me and itch at my wounds
that in my time alone, in my darkest times alone
I hear them so softly begging my heart, my lips, to speak
to utter such things that my soul cries out in selfish desire!
....and they only come out in whispers
that only my ears hear
and the only time they pick up in multitude and volume
is when you are gone
and the room is empty enough to echo
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Comments: 5
I find your words captivating. They rub off painfully delicate memories and emotions for me right now, but are expressed beautifully
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beautiful sorrows. i am glad they are touching. thank you for your words.
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Raw and painfully explicit. Anyone who has ever had to say good bye to one they truly love can relate to this. I know I certainly can.
Artistically speaking, I love the feeling of progression of stages toward a climax at the end of the piece that ends so bitter sweetly short but more poignant and powerful for its brevity.
I especially love the lack of punctuation, forcing the reader to stop and see where each pause or change occurs. Oddly very effective way of scoring the deep wound you are trying to express.
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i have a strange way with punctuation... i tend to write the way i speak.
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Well don't stop. don't stop. Because YOU rock! In all seriousness its a beautiful style and it really works for you. The tone of your work is just amazing and reads so smoothly. That's one thing I really adore about your work, the flow is so seamless and just carries the reader along. I was so excited to see so many new poems from you the other day! I just can't read them all at once because I really do find your stuff too moving to do one after another.
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