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Phantasmacy — Starlit Love

Published: 2005-03-30 18:30:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 53; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description Destined for the future
Starlit eyes entrap my heart
Pulsing energy twisting our souls
On that day that seemed such a dream.

Your hands on mine
My eyes locked with yours
I see not but a sparkle
Only so much more

An unseen force brought us together
In such a blissful whisper
As I listened to your heart that day
That day that seemed such a dream

I saw our spirits entwined by fate
The beauty that danced; encircled our bodies
You pulled me closer and we met that night
That night that seemed such a dream
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Comments: 3

Strange-Foreigner [2005-03-30 18:32:58 +0000 UTC]

It's an alright poem only it would even flow better when you'd pay some attention to a rhyming scheme

Nice imagery

"I see not but a sparkle
Only so much more"

I wouldn't be able to rephrase that a better way

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Phantasmacy In reply to Strange-Foreigner [2005-03-31 01:07:19 +0000 UTC]

thank you i never really rhyme lol for some reason i always seem to stay away from any type of rhyming or meter...i'm fully capable of it i know that but it's just like i write out whatever i feel and i don't know many people who think in rhyme lol...maybe i might try rhyming on my next poem ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Strange-Foreigner In reply to Phantasmacy [2005-03-31 08:35:51 +0000 UTC]

Heh, good intentions, you've got my support

Sonnets are easy to write ,shakespearian sonnets, give it a go I'm fond of sonnets ( I'm going for 155 myself )

👍: 0 ⏩: 0