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Like that's a surprise, right? Anyone who's seen my work on DA would know that. And yes, I am a girl. But really I know a lot of girls who despise this series (and a lot of guys that worship it) so that really shouldn't make a difference. Though sometimes it comes as a surprise to some people. Like it's a requirement for girls to like romance... But that's another debate for another time.

I've seen several of these "anti-stories" posted up and decided to share my story too. It's far more mild than most. I was never attacked by twilight fans. Or had things chucked at me, or was chased, or mobbed. Granted I graduated high school a long time before Twilight was written. Thank god for that.

When I was in middle school, Pokemon was the it thing. In high school, it was Lord of the Rings. Oh, how the times have changed.

Anyway, I didn't start out disliking Twilight. I had friends who read it. I even had a professor or two who spoke highly of it. Which looking back on it now makes me feel queasy. My writing was often compared to that of Stephenie Meyer's. At the time, I had no idea who they were talking about. Now I feel pretty insulted- even though I don't think they meant it as an insult.

But I started with an obvious bias against the book. I despise vampires. Everything about vampires grosses me out. There was never a time in my life were I enjoyed a vampire story. I have a tendency to pass out at the sight of blood (more specifically my blood), like Bella (insert shudder here). But unlike Bella I have convulsive fits. Probably not so romantic to have Edward holding up a girl going through an exorcism like seizure. So there you already have one reason that I don't like Bella. She swoons but somehow remains conscious and semi-coherent. Which only seems to me like she's faking it. When I'm out- I'm out like a light.

I wouldn't have lasted one week in the Twilight world.

But anyway, I went off on a tangent there. What I meant to say was that I have my reasons for disliking vampires. The fear of blood gave way to a fear of vampires as a kid. I hated the idea that there were imaginary (or not) creatures out there that drank blood. The image was just so disgusting and terrifying to me that I grew an intense distaste for anything vampire related. Anything remotely vampire-like (like a character in a movie or novel) would turn me off from the entire thing. (I also despise tulips. Damn you Alice and Wonderland/Hook for your creepy tulips!)

I eventually grew more afraid of Banshees as I got older (long story). But I still couldn't even fathom the idea of vampire stories. I was just completely uninterested.

However, when my friends started reading the series I grew curious. I decided to read the first few chapters to see what I made of it.

A rule of thumb for me, if I am not interested in the story by page 2-5 (sometimes even from the first page), I consider the entire novel a bust. I read to chapter 2 after having fallen asleep while reading it not once, but twice.

Already the book had several strikes against it:

1. It was about vampires.

2. It was about a high school girl.

I hated high school with a fiery passion and have no desire to revisit it in any novels unless the school gets blown up or aliens invade at some point. I still have nightmares about being back in high school. Reading a book about high school instead of giving me a sense of familiarity with the story- made me really hate being reminded of high school.

3. It was about the new girl in town.

I was never one. I grew up in a place where a lot of military families lived. My family was not one. Often times I would make friends and then a year or two later- they'd be off overseas. It always seemed harder for me than it was for them. I was stuck while as they got to escape. I was always jealous of new kids. So when a new kid is complaining about being new, I start to despise them (just in novels. In real life, I can sympathize... mostly).

4. The girl was insta-popular.

This was something I never was but always wanted to be if i moved someplace new. I used to read young adult novels growing up all the time about the new kid on the block who hates being new but then instantly makes new friends. I was never new, as I said earlier. I lived in the same place for eighteen years. Still living in the same area that I grew up in, despite being in a new house. Insta-popular people. I have no sympathy or patience for.

5. The girl was extremely judgmental.

I don't recall the exact phrases she used for Eric. Oily perhaps? Whatever the case, her snap judgment about the nerdy Eric pissed me off. And referring to Mike as being "loyal as a dog" annoyed me too. I never think of people in that fashion. Especially not if they are being friendly. I had nothing in common with Bella.

6. It was predictable.

The school day was a school day. She was new, new kid things happened to her. Nothing in the first chapters (excluding the prologue) screamed "READ ME, MORE INTERESTING STUFF WILL HAPPEN". Even the mysterious popular kids were so obviously vampires that there was really nothing to look forward to. I didn't feel like I needed to keep reading. I knew what was going to happen- I didn't even really care.

7. She addressed her parents by first name (but only behind their back).

This was a huge turn off for me. It seemed incredibly disrespectful of her to be referring to her father and mother by first name. Now this just might be the way I was raised. But I only ever called my parents by name to get their attention in a crowded public place when they weren't reacting to Mom or Dad. They are my mom and dad. And I address them as such. It would be shocking for them if I called them by their first names. Not to mention very impersonal. Now if this was how Charlie or Renee wanted to be addressed- that would be fine. But that's not the case. It was something Bella decided on. She doesn't think of Charlie as Dad. She thinks of him as Charlie- the man who lives in my house that I have to take care of and keep secrets from. She does not think of Renee as Mom either. She thinks of her parents as children. Absolutely appalling.

I know some teenagers feel this way about their parents. I wasn't one. I disagreed with my parents all the time and talked back a hell of a lot. But I never felt like they needed me to take care of them, or that they didn't deserve my respect. I still considered them my parents, my elders and thus deserving of a measure of deference. An opinion Bella didn't seem to share.

The only thing that kept me curious was the whole Edward looking as if he were about to barf that first day of class. But even that wasn't enough to keep me reading. I simply asked my friend what the weird face was about. "It was because she smelled so good. He was trying to resist eating her." "Oh really? Huh. That's actually kind of... gross."

But even with all these reasons stacked against the series, I didn't hate Twilight. I just thought it wasn't very engaging, well written, or interesting. I thought it had a lot of unmerited hype but nothing that came close to being the smash that Harry Potter was. Which was interesting, well written and engaging. I cared about Harry. I worried and wondered and loved the world he was in. He wasn't going to high school... he was going to wizard school. I'd trade high school with vampires for wizard school with magic without a second thought.

I was reading the first book right after Eclipse was released. It wasn't until Breaking Dawn was released that I even considered the series again. And this time, it was to read if it was really quite as WTFish that my friends claimed it was turning out to be. The same friends who tried to get me to read it were now agreeing with my original opinion and then adding "well you didn't even get to the part where the vampire's sparkle."

So I read Twilight. Which despite a few bits that were hard to swallow, went rather quickly.

New Moon was tougher. There were points where I was so furious at Bella's blatant insanity and everyone's inability to see it- that it took several sessions of reading aloud to my dogs with funny voices and pantomiming to muscle through it.

Eclipse was near impossible. It spent months gathering dust on the coffee table as I struggled to leaf through the pages. Every time she even mentioned college, I got so pissed that I had a hard time resisting the urge to chuck the book in the trash. Her indifference at graduating High School (something I was so excited for). Her selfish desire to keep Edward out of the battle so that he might survive even if at the expense of others. Don't even get me started on how they left those tourists to die at the hands of the Volturi in New Moon.

But I'm not saying college is so important that everyone MUST go. But I was so happy to get the opportunity- so grateful that I was accepted, that my parents could afford it, that I could fulfill my dream of getting a degree from a university (yes, I dreamed. I'm a nerd and proud of it.) For Bella to get accepted into Dartmouth and then to not want to go... is just disgusting to me. It wasn't even that she couldn't afford it. She practically got a free ride, never mind how dishonest it was. Most kids would kill to be in her position.

But then she decides not to go. Bella Swan (excuse me) Bella Cullen is too good for college. She'd rather give birth to a Satanic spawn (which really doesn't take her very long to do, I don't understand why she doesn't go to college afterwards and leave the demon baby with the grandparents). But that's not until Breaking Dawn of course. The book I'm reading now.

I'm on chapter three. After about two months or so. Not because I don't have time to read, but I don't have the patience. I read chapter one two months ago- two and three last night. Only Dan Bergstein's blogs help me get through them. I'm not allowed to read Dan's work until I get through the chapter he's blogged. Then I can have some hysterics as a reward for having survived the chapter.

But seriously, read Dan's work (community.sparknotes.com, look for blogging twilight) if you haven't already.

Now, you see I've read quite a bit of the book series. I kin the experience to shoving chunks of ice up my nose. Really quite unpleasant. I don't recommend it. If you can avoid reading it, do so. I only read it so that I can better provide a case against it when explaining why it sucks so badly. Honestly it's also a good tool to use when explaining to people how not to write.

But in terms of twilight fan attacks, I've only suffered a few idle insults here and there. Most twilight fans are surprisingly reasonable and often times are quite friendly and easy going. I've found the average fan enjoys the series enough to also see its flaws and poke fun at it too. I post anti-twilight comics, and most of those who watch me for the comics are actual twilight fans. Sometimes it's a hit or miss. Some jokes the fans find amusing, sometimes they don't. But I don't set out making the comics trying to upset fans. Mostly just to make people laugh. So if the fans enjoy the comics too- that's all the better a success for me.

I've been called a butch lesbian for not considering Edward hot (I'll freely admit the actor for Jacob is quite attractive. But I'm not into 17 year old boys. I wasn't into 17 year old boys even when I was 17). I've been accused of being a hatemonger- though I'm not sure how they justified that. And I've even had a rather hateful albeit passionate debate with a diehard fan. I tried to be as cordial as I could. Even when she threw spiteful comments my way, claiming I was ignorant or "not allowed to say anything bad about twilight because you're not published". You know... the usual things twitards use as a defense.

But all of the above occurred online. Mostly on DA. I have never been assaulted by any Twilight fans in real life. It is in this case that I feel that a lot of Anti-fan's exaggerate. Now not all the attacks are fake. Obviously they had to come from some where- some real incident that someone wanted to share. But I think the majority are.

I have run into several real life twitards. Most were aware that I did not like Twilight. I think the worst I ever got were glares and mutterings to their friends. I know a little old lady wearing an Edward shirt gave me a nasty look when I said to my friend- "do think she knows she's a little old for edward?" Granted... I kinda deserved it. But hence the eventual idea of Oboe. Check my comics for further details.

This long winged entry was mostly just me telling my story. I wanted to throw my part since my story is a bit different from most. If you read what I had to say, thanks. If not, well then you wouldn't be reading this sentence now so... I guess it doesn't matter. Unless you skimmed in which case, I hate you. D:

-Originally posted on the Anti-Twilight-Only Group Blog.

Description
Like that's a surprise, right? Anyone who's seen my work on DA would know that. And yes, I am a girl. But really I know a lot of girls who despise this series (and a lot of guys that worship it) so that really shouldn't make a difference. Though sometimes it comes as a surprise to some people. Like it's a requirement for girls to like romance... But that's another debate for another time.

I've seen several of these "anti-stories" posted up and decided to share my story too. It's far more mild than most. I was never attacked by twilight fans. Or had things chucked at me, or was chased, or mobbed. Granted I graduated high school a long time before Twilight was written. Thank god for that.

When I was in middle school, Pokemon was the it thing. In high school, it was Lord of the Rings. Oh, how the times have changed.

Anyway, I didn't start out disliking Twilight. I had friends who read it. I even had a professor or two who spoke highly of it. Which looking back on it now makes me feel queasy. My writing was often compared to that of Stephenie Meyer's. At the time, I had no idea who they were talking about. Now I feel pretty insulted- even though I don't think they meant it as an insult.

But I started with an obvious bias against the book. I despise vampires. Everything about vampires grosses me out. There was never a time in my life were I enjoyed a vampire story. I have a tendency to pass out at the sight of blood (more specifically my blood), like Bella (insert shudder here). But unlike Bella I have convulsive fits. Probably not so romantic to have Edward holding up a girl going through an exorcism like seizure. So there you already have one reason that I don't like Bella. She swoons but somehow remains conscious and semi-coherent. Which only seems to me like she's faking it. When I'm out- I'm out like a light.

I wouldn't have lasted one week in the Twilight world.

But anyway, I went off on a tangent there. What I meant to say was that I have my reasons for disliking vampires. The fear of blood gave way to a fear of vampires as a kid. I hated the idea that there were imaginary (or not) creatures out there that drank blood. The image was just so disgusting and terrifying to me that I grew an intense distaste for anything vampire related. Anything remotely vampire-like (like a character in a movie or novel) would turn me off from the entire thing. (I also despise tulips. Damn you Alice and Wonderland/Hook for your creepy tulips!)

I eventually grew more afraid of Banshees as I got older (long story). But I still couldn't even fathom the idea of vampire stories. I was just completely uninterested.

However, when my friends started reading the series I grew curious. I decided to read the first few chapters to see what I made of it.

A rule of thumb for me, if I am not interested in the story by page 2-5 (sometimes even from the first page), I consider the entire novel a bust. I read to chapter 2 after having fallen asleep while reading it not once, but twice.

Already the book had several strikes against it:

1. It was about vampires.

2. It was about a high school girl.

I hated high school with a fiery passion and have no desire to revisit it in any novels unless the school gets blown up or aliens invade at some point. I still have nightmares about being back in high school. Reading a book about high school instead of giving me a sense of familiarity with the story- made me really hate being reminded of high school.

3. It was about the new girl in town.

I was never one. I grew up in a place where a lot of military families lived. My family was not one. Often times I would make friends and then a year or two later- they'd be off overseas. It always seemed harder for me than it was for them. I was stuck while as they got to escape. I was always jealous of new kids. So when a new kid is complaining about being new, I start to despise them (just in novels. In real life, I can sympathize... mostly).

4. The girl was insta-popular.

This was something I never was but always wanted to be if i moved someplace new. I used to read young adult novels growing up all the time about the new kid on the block who hates being new but then instantly makes new friends. I was never new, as I said earlier. I lived in the same place for eighteen years. Still living in the same area that I grew up in, despite being in a new house. Insta-popular people. I have no sympathy or patience for.

5. The girl was extremely judgmental.

I don't recall the exact phrases she used for Eric. Oily perhaps? Whatever the case, her snap judgment about the nerdy Eric pissed me off. And referring to Mike as being "loyal as a dog" annoyed me too. I never think of people in that fashion. Especially not if they are being friendly. I had nothing in common with Bella.

6. It was predictable.

The school day was a school day. She was new, new kid things happened to her. Nothing in the first chapters (excluding the prologue) screamed "READ ME, MORE INTERESTING STUFF WILL HAPPEN". Even the mysterious popular kids were so obviously vampires that there was really nothing to look forward to. I didn't feel like I needed to keep reading. I knew what was going to happen- I didn't even really care.

7. She addressed her parents by first name (but only behind their back).

This was a huge turn off for me. It seemed incredibly disrespectful of her to be referring to her father and mother by first name. Now this just might be the way I was raised. But I only ever called my parents by name to get their attention in a crowded public place when they weren't reacting to Mom or Dad. They are my mom and dad. And I address them as such. It would be shocking for them if I called them by their first names. Not to mention very impersonal. Now if this was how Charlie or Renee wanted to be addressed- that would be fine. But that's not the case. It was something Bella decided on. She doesn't think of Charlie as Dad. She thinks of him as Charlie- the man who lives in my house that I have to take care of and keep secrets from. She does not think of Renee as Mom either. She thinks of her parents as children. Absolutely appalling.

I know some teenagers feel this way about their parents. I wasn't one. I disagreed with my parents all the time and talked back a hell of a lot. But I never felt like they needed me to take care of them, or that they didn't deserve my respect. I still considered them my parents, my elders and thus deserving of a measure of deference. An opinion Bella didn't seem to share.

The only thing that kept me curious was the whole Edward looking as if he were about to barf that first day of class. But even that wasn't enough to keep me reading. I simply asked my friend what the weird face was about. "It was because she smelled so good. He was trying to resist eating her." "Oh really? Huh. That's actually kind of... gross."

But even with all these reasons stacked against the series, I didn't hate Twilight. I just thought it wasn't very engaging, well written, or interesting. I thought it had a lot of unmerited hype but nothing that came close to being the smash that Harry Potter was. Which was interesting, well written and engaging. I cared about Harry. I worried and wondered and loved the world he was in. He wasn't going to high school... he was going to wizard school. I'd trade high school with vampires for wizard school with magic without a second thought.

I was reading the first book right after Eclipse was released. It wasn't until Breaking Dawn was released that I even considered the series again. And this time, it was to read if it was really quite as WTFish that my friends claimed it was turning out to be. The same friends who tried to get me to read it were now agreeing with my original opinion and then adding "well you didn't even get to the part where the vampire's sparkle."

So I read Twilight. Which despite a few bits that were hard to swallow, went rather quickly.

New Moon was tougher. There were points where I was so furious at Bella's blatant insanity and everyone's inability to see it- that it took several sessions of reading aloud to my dogs with funny voices and pantomiming to muscle through it.

Eclipse was near impossible. It spent months gathering dust on the coffee table as I struggled to leaf through the pages. Every time she even mentioned college, I got so pissed that I had a hard time resisting the urge to chuck the book in the trash. Her indifference at graduating High School (something I was so excited for). Her selfish desire to keep Edward out of the battle so that he might survive even if at the expense of others. Don't even get me started on how they left those tourists to die at the hands of the Volturi in New Moon.

But I'm not saying college is so important that everyone MUST go. But I was so happy to get the opportunity- so grateful that I was accepted, that my parents could afford it, that I could fulfill my dream of getting a degree from a university (yes, I dreamed. I'm a nerd and proud of it.) For Bella to get accepted into Dartmouth and then to not want to go... is just disgusting to me. It wasn't even that she couldn't afford it. She practically got a free ride, never mind how dishonest it was. Most kids would kill to be in her position.

But then she decides not to go. Bella Swan (excuse me) Bella Cullen is too good for college. She'd rather give birth to a Satanic spawn (which really doesn't take her very long to do, I don't understand why she doesn't go to college afterwards and leave the demon baby with the grandparents). But that's not until Breaking Dawn of course. The book I'm reading now.

I'm on chapter three. After about two months or so. Not because I don't have time to read, but I don't have the patience. I read chapter one two months ago- two and three last night. Only Dan Bergstein's blogs help me get through them. I'm not allowed to read Dan's work until I get through the chapter he's blogged. Then I can have some hysterics as a reward for having survived the chapter.

But seriously, read Dan's work (community.sparknotes.com, look for blogging twilight) if you haven't already.

Now, you see I've read quite a bit of the book series. I kin the experience to shoving chunks of ice up my nose. Really quite unpleasant. I don't recommend it. If you can avoid reading it, do so. I only read it so that I can better provide a case against it when explaining why it sucks so badly. Honestly it's also a good tool to use when explaining to people how not to write.

But in terms of twilight fan attacks, I've only suffered a few idle insults here and there. Most twilight fans are surprisingly reasonable and often times are quite friendly and easy going. I've found the average fan enjoys the series enough to also see its flaws and poke fun at it too. I post anti-twilight comics, and most of those who watch me for the comics are actual twilight fans. Sometimes it's a hit or miss. Some jokes the fans find amusing, sometimes they don't. But I don't set out making the comics trying to upset fans. Mostly just to make people laugh. So if the fans enjoy the comics too- that's all the better a success for me.

I've been called a butch lesbian for not considering Edward hot (I'll freely admit the actor for Jacob is quite attractive. But I'm not into 17 year old boys. I wasn't into 17 year old boys even when I was 17). I've been accused of being a hatemonger- though I'm not sure how they justified that. And I've even had a rather hateful albeit passionate debate with a diehard fan. I tried to be as cordial as I could. Even when she threw spiteful comments my way, claiming I was ignorant or "not allowed to say anything bad about twilight because you're not published". You know... the usual things twitards use as a defense.

But all of the above occurred online. Mostly on DA. I have never been assaulted by any Twilight fans in real life. It is in this case that I feel that a lot of Anti-fan's exaggerate. Now not all the attacks are fake. Obviously they had to come from some where- some real incident that someone wanted to share. But I think the majority are.

I have run into several real life twitards. Most were aware that I did not like Twilight. I think the worst I ever got were glares and mutterings to their friends. I know a little old lady wearing an Edward shirt gave me a nasty look when I said to my friend- "do think she knows she's a little old for edward?" Granted... I kinda deserved it. But hence the eventual idea of Oboe. Check my comics for further details.

This long winged entry was mostly just me telling my story. I wanted to throw my part since my story is a bit different from most. If you read what I had to say, thanks. If not, well then you wouldn't be reading this sentence now so... I guess it doesn't matter. Unless you skimmed in which case, I hate you. D:

-Originally posted on the Anti-Twilight-Only Group Blog.