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Maycrofy — Bargain
#dromammu #rwby #papaschnee #ivecometobargain #drstrange #rubyrose #weissschnee #jaunearc #rwbyroosterteeth #schneedustcompany #drstrangemovie
Published: 2016-11-21 07:03:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 23484; Favourites: 296; Downloads: 18
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Comments: 83
"What kind of bargain?"
"Hand over Weiss, and I promise not to kill Whiteley."
"Fine, take her!"
"..."
"What?"
"By the way, I already killed Whiteley."
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Kaiba: Get Weiss back from the Asshole who tried to be a bigger Asshole than me!
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That is not possible koiba.
No one is bigger ash-ole than you.
What kinda drugs you been doing?
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...ones that make my hair green and give me hallucinations/flashbacks of a freaky robot from ancient Egypt telling me about my past.
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And ones that apparently created a lepricon version of you with upsetting shorts, while you were held hostage by team 4 star
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Ruby: I've come to bargain! I want your youngest daughter's freedom, In exchange I offer you this red symbiotic goop thing, that makes anyone it bonds with a sociopathic killing machine(Carnage's Symbiot).
Jacques:...Deal.
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Me: ARE YOU CRAZY?! THAT THING'S A GOD DAMN KILLING MACHINE THAT THINKS OF NOTHING ABOUT KILLING THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND!!
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Ruby: [whisper] Relax, it's just Spaghetti sauce mixed with hot rubber. I left the real Carnage Symbiot with Wade and... I LEFT IT WITH WADE!
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Wait. Wade, as in Wade Wilson, as in DEADPOOL?!
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Ruby: One and the same, he and my Uncle Qrow work together a lot (Uncle Qrow thinks he's annoying, but he at least respects Wades skill) so we know each other pretty well. Who knows what he's doing with Carnage right now, I mean the last time they met Carnage ripped-out Wade's stomach and cut off all his limbs.
~Meanwhile~
Deadpool: [Drawing on the tank containing the corrupted Klyntar with a marker, showing it as a bloody mess] And this is what you'd look like if your daddy didn't pass down MY healing factor to you.
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You do realize the species Carnage comes from inherits its host's memories, right? It's how Venom went insane in the first place! DEADPOOL was Venom's first host!
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I know, I even said their species name, Klyntar, and that Carnage was a corrupted Klyntar like his "Daddy"(Venom).
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Ah Okay. Well, back to the RP.
Me: Well, you shouldn't have said that in earshot of Sir Schnee.
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ME:what the hell is going on!!! Can't a android have a day off from crazy thing for 1 min!!!
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Random guard: Mother of...
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Jacques: I have to agree with your friend. GUARDS GET THEM!!!
[Dodging dust rounds while running away]
Weiss: Why did you have to say all that in front of my dad you dunce?!?!
Ruby: Well I was perfectly fine not saying anything until we were LONG gone, but nooooooo Tkdboy2000 had to have me hold his hand through this whole thing and apparently never heard of a ruse!
Jaune: Ruby that's not fair you didn't really explain your plan to any of us really.
Deadpool: [Teleports in] Hey kids!
Ruby: Wade!
Deadpool: Yeah I've been reading this comment thread for a little bit and thought you could use a distraction.
Weiss, Jaune, & Ruby: Distraction?
Hulk: [Bursts through wall] HULK RIP TALKING MAN'S HEAD OOOOOOOOOFF!!!!!!!
Ruby: WADE YOU IDIOT!!
Deadpool: Less talking! More running!
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Me: Hold on, let me call for backup to diffuse the situation.
(Calls) Command, come in command...I need backup...okay...YOU'RE SENDING WHO NOW?!
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Weiss: Ok I'll bite, who are they sending and how are they going to make this worse?
Jaune: Being a pessimist is usually my thing Weiss, and what makes you think it's only gonna get worse?
Weiss: I could ask you what makes you think it's going to get better?
Deadpool: OOOOH, Ice Queen's got your balls in a logic vice there pal.
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Me: Tex. They're sending Tex.
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Me: Fuck me with a poison mushroom!
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Me: When did you get here!?
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Me: I've been here the whole time. Name's Solaris Gingka.
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Me: Call me Skye. (Not real name.)
A drop pod falls from the sky. Agent Tex steps out of it.
Me: Heh heh... hey Tex... about that money I owe you.
Tex: Later.
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Me: Tex, you can go, I know what to do. (transforms into Black Widow, slowly walk up to Hulk) Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low.
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Tex: *Punches you* Sorry kid, Hulk's been declared a public menace to Remnant.
She goes in for the kill.
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Me: (Stun-blasts Tex) Not today, Tex. (calms Hulk down, reverting him back to Bruce Banner, warps him back to New York with a note; Think of the Hulk as the cure, not a disease)
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Tex's left shoulder sparks.
Tex: Alright, that's it. *Into her radio* I need our big guy.
Me: *Grabs Ruby, Weiss, Jaune, and runs*
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Me: CHAOS CONTROL! (Warps to where Skye and the others are)
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...Where Agent Maine was currently beating them up, believing they were the threat. And attempting to get Skye to pay Freelancer what he owes for accidentally destroying the Nu A.I. fragment.
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Me: (Warps Banner from 5 years into the future back to us, now as Prof. Hulk) Little help here, Professor?
Prof. Hulk: No prob. (starts beating down Agent Maine)
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Ruby: I've come to bargain! I've come to bargain! I've come to bargain! I've come to bargain! I've come to-
Mr. Schnee: GAAAAAAH!! I CANT TAKE IT! Ok, fine!! Take Weiss for gosh sakes!
Ruby: Yay!
I LOVE DOCTOR STRANGE!!!
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that is exactly how she'd do it
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Jacques: What do you want?
Ruby: I want custody of Weiss.
Jacques: Why would want me to put her into a child's custody?
Ruby: Because Weiss would never shut up about how much she hates you.
Jacques: It is true. I am rather hard on her. I just recently put her piece of inheritance on ice for smack talking me.
Ruby: Okay? So good, right? She's technically free from your binds, right? I can easily take her off your hand without retribution?
Jacques:...
Ruby:...
Jacques:... Kid, you're lucky endearing. It's a deal. Take Weiss and get out of my hair.
Ruby: Good doing business with you!
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HA!!!!
(Also, Commissioner Gordon, all I'm saying)
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yes, I love that movie
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Jacques: No.
Ruby: Fine. I'll just tell every good parent in this show want you've been doing to your kids.
Jacques: ... Just take the damn girl.
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Every good parent.....so like, 3 people? Most of the parents are jerks or dead.
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Jerks, dead, or currently pretending to be their daughter's uncle.
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I've yet to see evidence for that last one.
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Yeah but those three consist of:
Ghira who'd crush Jacques' balls with his bare hands.
Kali who'd probable break his legs.
And Taiyang who'd beat him within an inch of his life.
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And who's to say Summer wouldn't haunt his ass?
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Same with Ren's parents.
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