HOME | DD
MayaTL — It's always been just the two of us...
#proudfather #backstory #brokenheart #crying #dadster #dontforget #fanart #feels #heartbreak #sadness #sorrow #thevoid #traditionalart #ventart #iwishicould #tearscrying #feelseverywhere #undertale #skelebros #allaboardthefeelztrain #undertale_papyrus #undertalefanart #undertale_sans #undertale_gaster #grillster #lonelygaster #sad_gaster #scatteredacrossspaceandtime
Published: 2016-07-29 14:19:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 1529; Favourites: 43; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
"it's been me and Pap, for as long as I can remember... though when do I try to remember, it always seems so... foggy..."All aboard the feelz train, departure in five minutes top!I was in a very feelz-like mood, so I decided to just pour nostalgia and heartbreak all over my art... and this happened.
I tried to incorporate as much sadness as possible into this, because I really wanted to be able to reach those emotions hidden deep within and wake them up. In other words, I wanted this to have an impact on people.
When Gaster was scattered across space and time he could only manage to open up small windows to the real world, unable to interact with it or even look into it for too long. As time went on he watched his boys grow and become such wonderful people, and still loved them so much despite the fact that they didn't remember him... which was the reason he was so heartbroken.
The coloring is a hint: Sans and Papyrus are wearing vibrant colors, their souls are whole and they have a representative aura around them. They are real.
Gaster is drawn in black and white, or grey and white in this case. His soul is unstable and he is fading out, glitching even. He is not real... and yet he is. The picture might be too fuzzy to see, but he has tears at the edge of his eyes... those tears are purple...
Color means life... color means reality. He is not real, yet his tears still fall. He does not exist...
...and yet his heartbreak does.
....................
At first it felt like nothing... correction, it didn't feel at all. He was disintegrated, broken down into millions and millions of pieces and them thrown across reality, each piece drifting away farther and farther from each other, getting lost into the fabric of space and time. They floated at random, not feeling, not thinking, not knowing... they were like inanimate objects, but still they held life... yet they didn't at the same time...
It was incomprehensible, and impossible to describe... they floated forever, yet not at all, as the concept of time didn't exist... it was merely a void, a rip in the fabric- a gap, perhaps, between life and death... they just floated, but they didn't know... because they didn't really exist in the end.
'...find them...'
They only knew when they met. Two pieces happened to collide with each other... it could have merely been seconds, or it could have been an eternity... but at one point they met, and collided and merged. In that moment they knew, but they only knew one thing... they had to find them, and they would do that. Who 'them' was they didn't know... they still couldn't feel, or think, and technically they didn't exist in the end... but they only knew.
Another eternity passed, or maybe no seconds passed at all, until they happened upon a third piece... whether that piece was 'them' or not they didn't know... so they drifted and collided anyway, and they merged... they found, and it was what they had known to do.
'...find them all...'
They knew they would find them, and they would find them all... they didn't know they were drifting, they still didn't exist... but they found them... whether they found them all, or who 'them' was after all they didn't know... but they found them, and it was what they had known to do.
They found them again... again... again... again... they started to form, even if still they did not exist... they knew they were pieces... then they knew they were drifting... they knew they needed to find all the pieces... they knew they needed to merge... they started to know. And after knowledge came thought, and after thought came feeling...
Feeling... feelings were what triggered everything. They started to gather then, not drifting anymore... the pieces still didn't know, still didn't exist... but they drifted towards each other, simply by feeling. They gathered, and gathered and gathered until they all merged, and then they knew... no, he knew he was whole...
His mind anyway. His mind was whole, he could think now, he could feel, he could know... he remembered now, even if he hadn't technically forgotten. But his body... the pieces of his body couldn't feel. They couldn't think, or know... they didn't really exist, yet they were there... no, they wouldn't gather. They could do nothing but drift, float perhaps. So, as his mind was now whole, he needed to find them himself.
He didn't keep track of time... there was no time in the void, no space in the void... there was nothing, and in that nothing were his pieces... indescribable it was, but he needn't describe it. He knew it, he could feel.
And so he found a piece, and then he found the other... maybe it was an eternity between each piece, or maybe not... but he found enough pieces to merge them, to form something... he'd found his hands, and then he'd found his head, and shortly after he could see... he could know, he could think, he could feel, he could see...
He kept going, finding and merging. He knew the attire he'd been wearing before the fall, and he found pieces of his coat... he could see, so he saw that he looked like a floating head and two floating hands, and he could feel the black mass of his body through the nothingness, even if he couldn't see it...
He discovered the windows as he gathered more pieces. The more he gathered the longer they would last, and he looked like he was there, but deep within he knew he wasn't... he didn't technically exist, and neither did the pieces of his body... but once he would gather them all they would exist again, and he would be back...
He gathered more and more, until not only could he see, but he could hear... the first window was to Hotlands, and despite the fact that he didn't know where he was- no, what place he was seeing, he could hear the bubbling of the magma below... he could hear his own laughter and he could feel his own happiness... he had realized soon enough that, despite the pain that came with knowing he might never be real again, he could still see the world... it was relieving, to put it so.
He gathered more pieces, and so eventually learned how to pinpoint where the next window would open... he found one in Snowdin and went through without a second thought. It still looked much the same, and it filled him with hope... hope that everyone he loved was still there, like he had left them on that cursed day... only to fall and abandon them like this, perhaps forever...
You see, there was no concept of time in the void, so when his mind became whole he realized he couldn't know how long it had taken for his mind to form without looking beyond the nothingness and into the real world... the first place he looked to was... home.
He felt the unstable pieces that held his soul together tighten under the painful feeling of nostalgia... so he hurried, before the window would close, and looked inside...
He had expected to see his lover there, either cooking in the kitchen or curled up on the sofa, and their little boys, either sleeping next to him on the sofa or helping him out in the kitchen, maybe even playing...
But he came to a very different sight... the house looked the same from the outside, the lanterns up front shinning in the darkness of the cave... he figured it must have been late, since the streets were empty and the cavern wasn't brightened up with monster magic... most were probably sleeping by then.
Inside though, it looked... sad... and felt cold. Shortly after hearing he started to feel... it didn't affect him in any way, as he wasn't really there, but he could feel... he could feel the heat of Hotlands and he could feel the cold of Snowdin... his home was almost as cold as the outside, and his soul pieces started humming in concern...
Their house had never been cold... quite the contrary actually, it had always been the warmest house in Snowdin, as it was where his lover spent most of his time, and he was a being made entirely of fire... that and the kitchen had literally caught on fire a couple of times...
Speaking of which, he looked to the kitchen... still cold, and the fridge almost empty... like most of the cupboards in fact... he looked upstairs next, and found the boys he was looking for...
His youngest was fully awake, as he always was, tucked carefully into a bed he didn't remember them having... and his eldest was seated next to him, reading him a bedtime story by the looks of it... he seemed tired, maybe to the point of exhaustion even, but he knew better than that...
He didn't recognize the room... it looked nothing like it had used to, as his belongings or his lover's were nowhere to be seen... if he looked closer, which he most certainly did, his boys looked a bit different from when he had last seen them... was his youngest even taller...?
He felt the window was about to close, so he came closer to them to see their faces better... differences or not, he had missed them, and it hurt that he could not interact with them in any way...
But as the surroundings started fading into the nothingness of the void, his eldest abruptly stopped reading and turned to where he would have been standing, his eye sockets empty as he fixed his gaze onto the spot... spot that, in reality, was empty...
He would always keep that first sight in mind... even as he gathered more pieces and eventually, by looking into longer-lasting windows, figured out what had really happened to him...
He hadn't just disappeared, as he had initially thought... he had been ripped from existence, every memory of him, every trace, every thought... gone. Like it had never been there... he hadn't just stopped existing...
It was like he never existed in the first place... no one knew him, because there was no one to know... his boys, his colleagues, his friends... his lover...
Nobody knew... and nobody would ever know, unless he would gather all his pieces and enter reality once again... so he gathered them more and more, until he had full control over the windows. He could have watched forever if he wanted to, but it was impossible for him to find more pieces of himself while he was watching...
He learned that the boys had also forgotten about his lover, and that his lover had ultimately forgotten them too... they thought they were orphans, and had to make a living on their own... it pained him... it pained him so much...
He watched them grow, he watched as they managed to get by, he watched them develop and gain such wonderful traits... sometimes it hurt too much, and he would stay confined into the void for a long time, searching for pieces of himself... he watched less and less often, and eventually stopped watching for a long time...
When he became so overwhelmed with the grief that he could not escape from, he decided to open up a window... he hadn't done it in so long...
He happened upon Waterfall, close to a lone station with a single echo flower growing next to it. At first he was confused... though relieved to see reality again after so long, he had meant to see his boys, wherever they may have been... he thought he had somehow miscalculated, as he had not done it in a while, but halted at the sound of exciting -and loud- chattering echoing through the tunnels. Above the ripple of the dripping water voices started to talk, and he managed to make out their words as they reached the cavern...
His boys... they were there, he could see them... they looked so different. His soul pieces ached with sorrow as he realized he had been confined for years... his youngest had grown so tall, and was wearing a very questionable outfit... his eldest looked just as tired as he had seen him when the first window to Snowdin had opened, but seemed to be enjoying his brother's company...
He walked with them, listening to the stories they were telling... his youngest talked the most, chattering about training, and patrols, and the Royal Guard and its captain, whom he remembered as being a very tough little child... they had grown so much...
He was surprised when he felt something slide down his face, and raised his hand up to find bright purple tears dripping down his cheekbones... despite it, he smiled, not noticing that as the tears fell down they stained the puddles of Waterfall with purple... yes, it hurt, it was painful to watch your children grow without being able to be there for them... it hurt so much, and yet as he watched them go towards the blizzard that served as an entrance to Snowdin, he kept smiling...
It was a sad smile, a smile filled with sorrow and nostalgia... yet it was genuine, and at the same time it held a flicker of happiness... they were happy, they were well... they were alive and they had grown into such wonderful people... he could not be there to say it to them, but prayed that one day he would be...
He smiled... he smiled and closed his eyes, feeling the presence of their magic fade as they walked away from where he would have been, completely oblivious to him... he moved to the nearest echo flower, as he had done so long ago, and closed his eyes, yet again not noticing as a tear fell onto its petals, giving it a faint purple glow... he whispered words to it, despite knowing he was not really there and then faded away, back into the nothingness of the void to look for more pieces of him...
Left all alone, the flower ceased its purple glow and started whispering, the words slightly distorted but perceivable nonetheless...
'I wish I could tell you... how proud you've made me...'
....................
Undertale belongs to (c) Toby Fox
Art belongs to (c) me
Related content
Comments: 30
"I wish I could tell you ... how proud you're made me..."
Is that it?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No, of course not. He wishes he could tell them so many more things, but above all else, they've made him proud. And if he had the chance to tell them one last thing... that would be it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
so there's sans papyrus and a heartless jk i know its gaster
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hm... nope!
DADSTER FOR THE WIN!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Pfft~ what am I looking at right now...? xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
that's what they're called in kingdom hearts
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes, it's meant to be sad. Glad I got those tears flowing! ;v;
Thank you! ~<333
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Someone should give me a prize for the longest description of all time... xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*applause in the background* Thank you, thank you, you're all too kind! Too kind!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
We must ask, what caused you to want to write the longest description on DeviantArt? *Holds up a microphone*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*clears throat* Well, as a matter of fact, it was not intended... I just added a sad story behind the already sad art to make the audience cry. You're welcome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*Another guy with a microphone* And how long did it take you to acomplish this feat?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
o.o
Oh it's all coming back to me... the horror...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh... *He pulls the microphone away*
XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1