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lostmyslef — Her Side
Published: 2013-05-19 13:03:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 882; Favourites: 35; Downloads: 10
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Description Tomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
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Comments: 25

Batgirl2013 [2013-05-26 19:07:15 +0000 UTC]

I like your poem and the description helps figure out what goes on in your head. As one who has those thoughts - we always have something to stop us

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lostmyslef In reply to Batgirl2013 [2013-05-26 22:38:42 +0000 UTC]

well thank you, and I'm glad you found the description informative. I thought it was a little too long and ridiculous sounding so I'm glad hat someone found it helpful.

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Batgirl2013 In reply to lostmyslef [2013-05-26 22:43:38 +0000 UTC]

I actually liked it- if its like that for all your poems I think it better

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lostmyslef In reply to Batgirl2013 [2013-05-26 22:54:34 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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Batgirl2013 In reply to lostmyslef [2013-05-26 23:14:29 +0000 UTC]

WElcome

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kiki1690 [2013-05-23 22:16:54 +0000 UTC]

quite wonderful especially the last line. very good!

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lostmyslef In reply to kiki1690 [2013-05-24 20:10:30 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

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ReniBear [2013-05-21 16:56:02 +0000 UTC]

that is a wonderful poem. it describes me and this girl.. very much so. so beautiful this poem is.

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lostmyslef In reply to ReniBear [2013-05-22 10:13:37 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very very much

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ReniBear In reply to lostmyslef [2013-05-22 13:33:13 +0000 UTC]

You are very welcome ^^

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MagicalJoey [2013-05-21 15:00:57 +0000 UTC]

Long descriptions are good love.
And the poem is not awful. It is well written and there is an excellent theme and reason behind it. I may just write something on the theme myself.

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lostmyslef In reply to MagicalJoey [2013-05-22 10:14:06 +0000 UTC]

Thank you and I'm sure that would be wonderful

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Belle95 [2013-05-20 22:01:42 +0000 UTC]

I didn't think it was awful. I liked it. It wasn't too verbose and it got across the story while still lending emotion and empathy.

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lostmyslef In reply to Belle95 [2013-05-21 09:31:23 +0000 UTC]

well thank you

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artistic-heart13 [2013-05-20 14:13:52 +0000 UTC]

Amazing job as usual. Like the irony in the last lines.

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lostmyslef In reply to artistic-heart13 [2013-05-20 20:52:15 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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artistic-heart13 In reply to lostmyslef [2013-05-21 14:37:13 +0000 UTC]

Welcome.

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RemnantDoomBlossom [2013-05-19 18:08:20 +0000 UTC]

Wow, this was an amazing poem. And your abilities are great by the way! This turned out great! Its definitely a connectable poem.

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lostmyslef In reply to RemnantDoomBlossom [2013-05-19 18:10:37 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much! In always glad to know that people find that people see my poems as relatable

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RemnantDoomBlossom In reply to lostmyslef [2013-05-19 18:30:28 +0000 UTC]

Well you did a great job of making it relatable! I would favorite it twice if I could.

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Miuru-chan [2013-05-19 16:49:50 +0000 UTC]

This is a pretty poem. And there is a very strong emotion.

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lostmyslef In reply to Miuru-chan [2013-05-19 18:06:23 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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Miuru-chan In reply to lostmyslef [2013-05-23 13:05:37 +0000 UTC]

No problem~

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WalkingDeceit [2013-05-19 14:00:29 +0000 UTC]

I really like this, particularly the last two lines. I think that it has a very powerful message that a lot of people can really connect with.

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lostmyslef In reply to WalkingDeceit [2013-05-19 18:07:21 +0000 UTC]

O thank you, i was actually nervous about the last lines

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