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Description
Wrong on so many levels. With a dash of Naruto.

I blame MadamHydra's crackfics: [link]
(Remember her? She's been around for a looooong time) and Zack's Crisis Core Chocobo-mode summons.
I remember how much I love those little buggers.

...In other news, Tonberries are still the scariest thing on the Planet (and the most embarrassing way to die).

Go read her fics. They're amusingly twisted. Twistedly amusing.
Like this ficlet clip:

"Yes, Seph?" Zack grinned innocently at him. That was hardly unusual, but the slow side-to-side weeble was definitely atypical.

"Would one of you like to explain what happened in the chocobo stables?" Sephiroth said with exaggerated patience. "How about you, Captain Fitz? Seeing as how you have chocobo feathers in your hair."

The tall, red-haired Fitz blinked owlishly, then said, "I was getting odds, Sir."

"Odds?"

Fitz hiccuped almost daintily before saying in an earnest voice, "Yes, Sir. Betting odds. On the blitzball game between the Icicle Bandersnatches and the Corel Cokatolis."

"I see. You were asking Commander Escovar's prize breeding chocobo for blitzball odds."

"Yup. Gave me some nice ones," Fitz replied happily.

"And why did you let it out its stall?"

"Because it asked me to," Fitz said, looking a bit surprised that the great General Sephiroth hadn't figured that obvious answer out for himself. "He wanted to visit this sweet green chick over in the next stableblock...." Fitz began to make appreciative curvy gestures with his hands.

Sephiroth hastily held up a hand.

"Enough. I've got the picture."

Description
Wrong on so many levels. With a dash of Naruto.

I blame MadamHydra's crackfics: [link]
(Remember her? She's been around for a looooong time) and Zack's Crisis Core Chocobo-mode summons.
I remember how much I love those little buggers.

...In other news, Tonberries are still the scariest thing on the Planet (and the most embarrassing way to die).

Go read her fics. They're amusingly twisted. Twistedly amusing.
Like this ficlet clip:

"Yes, Seph?" Zack grinned innocently at him. That was hardly unusual, but the slow side-to-side weeble was definitely atypical.

"Would one of you like to explain what happened in the chocobo stables?" Sephiroth said with exaggerated patience. "How about you, Captain Fitz? Seeing as how you have chocobo feathers in your hair."

The tall, red-haired Fitz blinked owlishly, then said, "I was getting odds, Sir."

"Odds?"

Fitz hiccuped almost daintily before saying in an earnest voice, "Yes, Sir. Betting odds. On the blitzball game between the Icicle Bandersnatches and the Corel Cokatolis."

"I see. You were asking Commander Escovar's prize breeding chocobo for blitzball odds."

"Yup. Gave me some nice ones," Fitz replied happily.

"And why did you let it out its stall?"

"Because it asked me to," Fitz said, looking a bit surprised that the great General Sephiroth hadn't figured that obvious answer out for himself. "He wanted to visit this sweet green chick over in the next stableblock...." Fitz began to make appreciative curvy gestures with his hands.

Sephiroth hastily held up a hand.

"Enough. I've got the picture."