Comments: 42
Namineswishes [2009-06-26 02:28:32 +0000 UTC]
Very beautiful~!
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Kazeshiroi [2008-02-20 14:04:01 +0000 UTC]
I like it. I also loved the game song.
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patrengkee [2007-12-02 05:21:00 +0000 UTC]
The Japanese part I found is incomplete. Where'd you get this?
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Djonarbuckle [2007-11-21 09:23:36 +0000 UTC]
Wow very beutifull O_O
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I-make-people-cry [2007-11-18 10:09:02 +0000 UTC]
this is beautiful
^__^
I really like it.
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ThatBlondeKid [2007-10-15 22:55:05 +0000 UTC]
A lot of the lines themselves are really deep... And really relatable, game or no game. Well done.
And I sang along too to see if it worked... XD It really does.
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Coidzy [2007-10-15 20:01:41 +0000 UTC]
So it's this sort of thing that led to that Chocobomix flash music video being created... Interesting... I like it, though I'll have to get to a computer with sound on it to really appreciate it, though it seems youtube has the song on there so the search won't be too difficult after that...
As far as nuts and bolts of the writing go though, the only thing I can think to say is that stanza/verse 6 has a minor typo, with "form" instead of "from."
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Zackx11 [2007-10-13 15:53:37 +0000 UTC]
0.0
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chemmisforest [2007-10-13 00:30:31 +0000 UTC]
This is lovely! ^^ Very well done!
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angelofmusic1854 [2007-10-12 01:06:39 +0000 UTC]
Why Deathly Dave’s Soul Fell Apart
By: Autumn C
There once was a man named Deathly Dave,
Who was a bit of a shallow nave,
He hated any kind of person big or small,
Girl or boy it didn’t matter at all.
Dave would take these people home,
Only because he didn’t like being alone.
Though the people never knew his horrid intensions,
He had many ghastly and nasty inventions.
Dave showed these people his flying machine,
That made everyone he flew over give a murderous scream.
He liked to torture them just for fun,
And see these people’s lives be done.
He would fly through the night like the angel of death,
And kill the people that were once his friends.
However, Dave didn’t know that as he got older,
The killing was making his soul get colder.
Dave’s soul was able to finally run out,
When he recalled his final kill with doubt.
You see his last killing was somewhat different,
For he killed the love of his life, Millicent.
That final kill filled Dave with dread,
As he saw Millicent’s blood cold and red.
That love that he once had tore him apart,
And that is why Deathly Dave’s soul fell apart.
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SmashMobius [2007-10-10 07:17:10 +0000 UTC]
Very nice.
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xAkix [2007-10-10 03:39:37 +0000 UTC]
*applauds* Beautifully done, LF. You've got hidden poetry skills that I never knew about o.o Excellent wording and style, I might add.
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BookofAges [2007-10-09 23:45:21 +0000 UTC]
clever
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Twilt-Ninja [2007-10-09 20:50:47 +0000 UTC]
very nice. made me get all goshy inside ^o^ !!
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FinalGamer [2007-10-09 20:27:32 +0000 UTC]
Hey I do that too! Hell 1/3 of all my poems is just putting lyrics to game music!
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LadyElfie2000 [2007-10-09 19:55:46 +0000 UTC]
Gasp! It's something NOT funny from Legendary Frog! Neato!
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RS-Valentine [2007-10-09 19:30:36 +0000 UTC]
This is gorgeous, man, absolutely gorgeous.
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KatyGraham [2007-10-09 19:20:47 +0000 UTC]
that's very beautiful. I like it!
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WhiteStriker [2007-10-09 10:48:54 +0000 UTC]
Wow, lyrics are beautiful. Very nice work.
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muffinsphinx [2007-10-09 10:25:11 +0000 UTC]
I love the mood you put into this... taking inspiration from orchestrals/instrumentals is always interesting. Good job!
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greenfrostfire [2007-10-09 09:18:06 +0000 UTC]
i love it when you do this!
will we be seeing another flash movie like that final fantasy chocomix from a while back?
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Frobman [2007-10-09 07:28:43 +0000 UTC]
Nice song and good lyrics! Good job there!
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frozenverdugo [2007-10-09 07:06:46 +0000 UTC]
oh....SO...nerdy....cant contain.....aggh
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DOOMsword [2007-10-09 05:02:05 +0000 UTC]
Its neat to see something that isn't funny from you every once in a while.
When are you going to write that Ark and Carrie book?
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Drachenlupe [2007-10-09 04:30:49 +0000 UTC]
Very Spiffy!
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pixelito [2007-10-09 04:17:57 +0000 UTC]
Very good! I'm impressed!
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Hentai-Sweetie [2007-10-09 04:08:50 +0000 UTC]
Cool. I usually don't read text works on DA but I actually like this.
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DreamSkaype [2007-10-09 04:08:11 +0000 UTC]
It's very nice. Nice word choice. I was able to imagine this and the song at the same time and it flowed nicely ^^
I like the way the angels are mentioned...it's just...I dunno...original?
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noodle3-d [2007-10-09 04:06:44 +0000 UTC]
*applause* Hey..Didn't know you wrote poetry. Very nice, and smooth flowing.
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