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Description
This ones for you, mrsouleater13 c: i sincerely apologize for the fact that this is so late, i hope you will forgive me. The character drawn is his oc, the Raven, who appeared in the story which also showcases my two babies Silent n' Zoruru. I can't thank you enough for writing the story, it was super good.
PLEASE READ Silent in Darkness .

aaaaaahhhhh the background and the fuuckkiinngg whole piece is just fuuuckk. i feel so underachieved is that even a word but you know. testing weeks. fuckme.

Oh yeah. I still take requests. Drop a comment or send a note c:

now please excuse me while i get into some deep shit here. possible triggers ahead
I dont want to write this down. Really dont. However, I feel like I owe you guys this. You guys keep watching me even though I rarely update anything. So I am going to drop this here and kind of hope no one is going to read this. It this weird? Yeah. I think so too.
I have been diagnosed with severe depression. and anxiety. panic attacks. insomnia. Ever since I can remember, Ive always felt a little.. off. It was like something of me was missing. As a kid, I never really understood it. Why I was sad a lot, why I would start crying behind closed doors of why things like being social with other people was really exhausting. Why somethings it literally felt like everything was going to fall on top of me.
So I didn't tell anyone about it.
For 16 years I just shut myself down and endured everything.
A year-or-so ago, shit went down. I had a lot of bad panic attacks. As an example, I was out with my parents when the panic attack happened. I started to scratch my hand.
And didn't stop.
Until my mom noticed how my entire hand was covered in blood. I had, using my fingernails, scratched myself so that the skin had broken and I had reached muscle tissue.
The worst thing however, I hadn't even noticed the pain. The pain kicked in when I got to relax in a place where I was alone. I lost all mobility in that hand for a week.
My parents never said anything about that after.
Not until one day, I couldn't breathe.
I was taken to a hospital where I was inspected. The doctors said there was nothing physically wrong with me. One of the doctors asked me if I was alright.. you know... mentally.
Thats where I broke down. For the first time in my life, I told someone how I was feeling. And the doctor listened. And booked me a time to a psychiatrist. And so my parents kind of found out about all the stuff on the same day.
soo yeah. I still go to the psychiatrist every once a week-or-two. I see a therapist once or twice a week.
so you could say i am doing my best to get better.

now, the reason i am often unable to draw? the scratching. sometimes it just gets so bad i cant even hold a pen.
so i am sorry. about you know. everything.
no more triggers sorry guys!

Description
This ones for you, mrsouleater13 c: i sincerely apologize for the fact that this is so late, i hope you will forgive me. The character drawn is his oc, the Raven, who appeared in the story which also showcases my two babies Silent n' Zoruru. I can't thank you enough for writing the story, it was super good.
PLEASE READ Silent in Darkness .

aaaaaahhhhh the background and the fuuckkiinngg whole piece is just fuuuckk. i feel so underachieved is that even a word but you know. testing weeks. fuckme.

Oh yeah. I still take requests. Drop a comment or send a note c:

now please excuse me while i get into some deep shit here. possible triggers ahead
I dont want to write this down. Really dont. However, I feel like I owe you guys this. You guys keep watching me even though I rarely update anything. So I am going to drop this here and kind of hope no one is going to read this. It this weird? Yeah. I think so too.
I have been diagnosed with severe depression. and anxiety. panic attacks. insomnia. Ever since I can remember, Ive always felt a little.. off. It was like something of me was missing. As a kid, I never really understood it. Why I was sad a lot, why I would start crying behind closed doors of why things like being social with other people was really exhausting. Why somethings it literally felt like everything was going to fall on top of me.
So I didn't tell anyone about it.
For 16 years I just shut myself down and endured everything.
A year-or-so ago, shit went down. I had a lot of bad panic attacks. As an example, I was out with my parents when the panic attack happened. I started to scratch my hand.
And didn't stop.
Until my mom noticed how my entire hand was covered in blood. I had, using my fingernails, scratched myself so that the skin had broken and I had reached muscle tissue.
The worst thing however, I hadn't even noticed the pain. The pain kicked in when I got to relax in a place where I was alone. I lost all mobility in that hand for a week.
My parents never said anything about that after.
Not until one day, I couldn't breathe.
I was taken to a hospital where I was inspected. The doctors said there was nothing physically wrong with me. One of the doctors asked me if I was alright.. you know... mentally.
Thats where I broke down. For the first time in my life, I told someone how I was feeling. And the doctor listened. And booked me a time to a psychiatrist. And so my parents kind of found out about all the stuff on the same day.
soo yeah. I still go to the psychiatrist every once a week-or-two. I see a therapist once or twice a week.
so you could say i am doing my best to get better.

now, the reason i am often unable to draw? the scratching. sometimes it just gets so bad i cant even hold a pen.
so i am sorry. about you know. everything.
no more triggers sorry guys!