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langsam — Fallen
Published: 2006-08-21 20:36:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 338; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 3
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Description
FallenI slept as I fell
into your eyes
into the depths of your eyes
into the sea
the warmth of the sea
dreaming
floating suspended
immersed in the sea
breathing the sea
calm
breathing rhythm
breathing together
enwrapped in your arms
folded together
flowing together
woven together
in dreams of the sea
breathing together
the afternoon sunlight
breathing your slow rhythm
in afternoon sunlight
I have fallen
fallen into your eyes
you will hold me
for ever
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Comments: 8
Well I have noticed alot of people are never truly satisfied witrh their work but I love this. I think its beautiful. I can relate to this actually. Its truly amazing...and twenty years is along time to have worked on something.
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Most of the time I actually do get to the point of feeling finished with a poem, but this one is different somehow. It has never seemed to me to do justice to what I was trying to express. But something seems to come through to some people, so maybe I just don't know. Anyway, I especially appreciate it when someone tells me so, so thank you very much.
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You are very welcomed. I see flaws in everything I write!! I am not that great of a writer, its just I love to write down my feelings which is all my poetry is but I am not good with wording and I am unsure if people really understand what I am trying to say!!
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Well, keep at it. Word skill comes with practice, and lots of reading, and listening to others. But poetry comes from the heart, polished or not, and talking with your own heart is the greater talent to me. Sometimes it's celebration and sometimes it's therapy. But it's always poetry if it has the ring of truth.
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wow, the feelings are so intense! I love it, the way you wrote it, it's so... real. beautiful
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Thank you very much. I've struggled with this so I really appreciate your compliment. And thank you very much foir the fav.
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