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"A date with Claire?!" Gray cried.

"It wasn't a date," I corrected, "We just hung out late at night on the hill."

"That's what most people usually do for dates around here!" Gray exclaimed, "What happened to Jill?!"

"IT WAS NOT A DATE," I said firmly, "I didn't even like it! I mean... I didn't hate the conversation, it was just really weird. I was very uncomfortable the whole time. Mostly because I kept thinking of Jill..."

"Just, let me get this straight," Gray said, holding his hands up, trying to get me to slow down, "You and Claire talked on top of Mother's Hill for hours. What did you talk about?!"

"That's not the point," I said, "I feel really guilty about it. Stop rubbing it in."

"You and Claire..." Gray seemed half in a daze.

"Yes! But it was not a date!!" I shouted, "Now, cut it out! I have bigger problems. Like how I'm going to win Jill's heart."

"The curry-" Cliff started.

"It was a flop," I cut him off, "I need something better than what I've got, and I don't really have time to perfect it right now. I'll work on it later. I need something better than words or some stupid gift... But, what?" I started pacing the floor, "I've never had to try so hard to win a maiden's heart before... What do women like?"

"Claire didn't respond to your usual charms like Jill," Cliff offered, "Maybe you could ask her."

"Claire did have something about her that reminded me of Jill..." I was starting to think out loud. 'But there's still the matter of her brother. Something about him scares me...'

"Don't send him to talk to Claire!" Gray cried.

Cliff and I both looked at him, confused. "Ok, seriously," I remarked, "You've been acting really weird. What's up with you?"

"It's just..." Gray blushed, avoiding eye contact with us, "Jack watches his sister like a hawk. Spending time with her risks you getting caught by him."

"Jack's never met me," I remarked, "You must like Claire. Mary will be very disa-"

"We're just friends!" Gray shouted.

"Ok, ok," I waved his words away, "We're getting off topic. I don't even like Claire, so don't worry about me trying to steal her heart. About Jill-"

"Will you people quit shouting?!" Ann screeched, throwing the door open.

"Scary..." I muttered.

"We're sorry," Cliff said quietly.

"Not you!" Ann bellowed, "Those idiots!"

"I'm sorry..."

"Quit apologizing!" Ann ordered and shot dirty looks at Gray and I, "You two! You're disturbing the customers downstairs! Be quiet or go somewhere else!" With that, she slammed the door behind herself and stormed down the stairs.

I blinked, "Wow, Cliff... That's SOME girlfriend you've got there..."

Cliff's face turned red and he looked away.

"Ok, so..." I looked around, "What should I do for Jill?" I looked around. "Cliff... What did you do to get Ann to like you?"

"I just..." Cliff said quietly, eyes searching the floor, "I don't know... Why are you asking?" he looked up at me. He looked worried about my question. He was probably really embarrassed. Silly shyness...

"It's just become obvious to me that you're the only one here that doesn't have problems with women," I remarked.

"Ok, quit bothering Cliff," Gray butted in, "You're making him really uncomfortable. Here's what I think: girls like you because you treat them like a princess, which makes them feel special. Jill can see through your fake words, so you need to do something more personal for her."

"Personal?" I repeated dumbly, "How?"

"Do something that matters to her," Cliff said.

"Something that matters to her..." I was still repeating. What does Jill care about? ... Catching me? No, besides that... Hmm...

"We get that you can repeat what we say," Gray remarked, "Now say your own words."

"I need to find out what Jill actually cares about..." I said slowly.

"Okay..." Gray nodded slightly in approval with my words.

What Jill wants... Me? No... Elvis? I shuddered at that thought. I really hope not... What Jill wants... She runs a farm... She hangs out with the farmer boy... Farm... Farm..? I don't think she wants another farm...

"All this time," I said bitterly, hating myself, "And I still don't know what Jill likes..."

Gray sighed, "What do you do every time you see her, anyway?"

"Usually..." I thought back, "I save her." Even I couldn't believe how matter-of-factly I had said something so vague and stupid. "Oh," I added, "And I stare at her."

"Stalker," Gray muttered.

"I know," I nodded, "I've come to accept this, but that's not the problem at hand."

Cliff took in a deep breath and we both looked back at him. "Gray, you're going to hate me for this, but," Cliff spoke slowly and carefully, "I think Skye really needs to talk to Claire about this."

The look in Gray's eyes indeed said that he was unhappy with Cliff's words. I could tell mostly by the way his left eye kept twitching.

***

"How to charm me?" Claire asked, "That's pretty straightforward, don't you think?"

"I know..." I sighed.

"Did our little date really have that much of an influence on you?" she asked. Her tone of voice sounded so innocent.

"It wasn't a date. We were just strangers that had a random encounter that happened to be in a place people usually go on dates, and you know it," I stated, "And it's not for you, my lady, it's for someone similar to you."

"Someone like me..." Claire said thoughtfully, "How is she like me?"

"Neither of you respond well to my usual charms," I said.

"Well..." Claire thought. She put a hand on her chin and the other on her hip. Her eyes looked up at the sky as she thought.

Should it really take this much time to think of what she likes in a guy..? This was a really stupid idea...

"I don't really know," Claire shrugged, "I've always pictured my perfect guy treating me special, like I was different from every other girl he met, like I was a princess."

I blinked, "But that's exactly what I-"

"No, no," Claire objected, wagging her finger at me, "You treat ALL girls like they're princesses. You need to treat her like she's not just like every other girl."

"Oh..." I looked down and thought. 'Differently...' "Oh!" I exclaimed, "So, if I don't treat her like a princess, but like I don't care at all-"

"No, no, no, no, no," Claire waved her hand in my face, shaking her head for emphasis, "That's completely wrong. I can guarantee you that no girl wants to be treated like that... How can you be such a lady's man and know this little about women?"

"I don't know!" I said, somewhat panicked, "I usually just say the same things like, 'Hey, beautiful,' and it always worked. I've never had to worry about that not working!"

Claire sighed, "Just... Okay, maybe be nice, but don't overdo it. Be genuine and stop trying so hard to charm her."

"Why would I-"

"Just try being genuine with her," Claire shrugged, "Maybe she feels smothered by you. Sometimes, you need to blow on the flame to help it get going, but sometimes you need to leave the flame alone so it can grow on its own."

I stared at her. What does that have to do with anything?

Claire sighed with exasperation, "Just... Stop trying so hard and don't say anything you don't mean. There's about a 90 percent chance that it'll work. If it doesn't, come see me again, okay?"

I let out a deep breath, "Alright... I'll try doing that."

"And say what you're REALLY thinking," Claire said, "None of that 'fair maiden' crap."

"But..." I objected and the words spilled from my mouth before I could filter them, "She really is a fair maiden. She's the most beautiful maiden I've ever seen. Even when she's covered in dirt and bruises after a rough day of work on the farm, she's always positively radiating with beauty."

Claire stared at me with wide eyes.

I felt my face getting warmer in the awkward silence. That was really stupid. Why would you say that out loud? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupi-

"That's great!" Claire declared, pointing at me, "Tell her that! Say exactly what you told me just now!"

"Wha- Really?" I gave her an odd look, "I thought you said not to-"

"It's not the same as that other stuff you say," Claire explained, "I can tell by the tone of your voice. You weren't sugar-coating your words, and that's exactly what you need to do!" Claire started pushing me away, "Now, quick! Go to her! While it's still fresh in your mind!"

"Hey, wait," I said, digging my heels into the ground, "It's getting late... And this is the wrong way!"

"Oh..." Claire paused, "Who is this mystery-maiden we keep talking about, anyway? Where does she live?"

"I'm not telling you, you'll make me go," I insisted, "And, really, it's way too late. The road to the valley is a health hazard when you can't see where you're going."

"Love doesn't wait," Claire said, "And she'll understand if you show up late," Claire suddenly raised her voice triumphantly, pushing me in a different direction, "And now I know your mystery-maiden lives in the valley! Go! Go! Go!"

"Okay! Okay!" I pulled away from the persistent farmer, "I'm going!"

"Hooray!" Claire jumped with joy and waved to me as I left, "Have fun!"

"Okay..." I continued on, very unsure of what the heck I was doing. Crazy farmer... She wants me to get killed on the trail to the valley... Well... Maybe I'll just find a place to sleep in the valley. At least I'll get to see my Jill...