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KikuFire — I Love You
by-nc-nd
Published: 2006-12-05 23:27:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 50056; Favourites: 1423; Downloads: 405
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Description
When I’m not talking to you, I’m thinking of you.When you’re away, I’m hurting inside for you.
Heart sinking,
Belly aching,
Mind numbing,
Hurt for you.
I miss you.
When I’m talking to you, I’m thinking of us.
When you’re with me I come alive.
Heart beating,
Belly flying,
Mind racing,
Alive for you.
I love you.
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Comments: 1270
You are very welcome, I hope it serves you well, however you need it
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Yep. This is how I feel about my boyfriend. Always.
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I wish you two of you happiness! 
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XP Love the ST reference!
I hope so, we've had our moments recently. Hopefully things will get better when we move again..... In 10 months. ><
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the ST reference was never intentional; I simply wrote this at random as a way to express how I felt for my boyfriend, nothing else.
all relationships do! As long as there is more good than bad and your both working at the frustrating stuff, its good right? lol a big move?
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xP Still cool that it happened!
Ehh... Yeah, big move, but we've been here almost 3 months. Moved out here in July. Stuff happened with my now ex best friend, he won't cut her out of our lives, yes he works for her husband but her HUSBAND should be the one texting etc, not her. Hell her HUSBAND should be the one talking to him about work period, not her. So it's driving me slightly nuts, he told her he'd always be her friend, yet... He should have cut her out and/or she should have backed off knowing that I should come first because he & I were together before they met each other.
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well don't fret too much about it; my best friend and her boyfriend moved almost six months ago and they still have boxes that aren't unpacked or haven't been taken down into storage yet. She's very pregnant at the moment so I understand why she isn't allowed to do it herself but at the same time each time I go over, I offer to help but get dismissed about it. I kinda bugs me but at the same time I get that she wants her boyfriend to do it. lol power plays i guess *shrugs*
It must of been a pretty big 'stuff' for you to cut out your best friend. I'm sorry that you lost someone who was once so close, I know that can be tough. Agreed, her husband should be the one contact him. Even if she is part of her husbands business, to avoid awkwardness she should just defer to her husband to contact yours. Being 'friends' after something like that, just means you'll be friendly if you happen across each other, it doesn't mean seeking them out. On the flip side, the reasons women have for breaking off friendships can sometimes make no sense to men. Though considering he only knows her through you, i don't get why he's treating her like such an amazing friend after such an upsetting event happened that caused you two to stop being friends? At best I've found my boyfriend is only casual friends with my friends and my friend's boyfriends only casual friends with me. I have my best friends boyfriend in my phone but I've only ever texted him maybe a dozen times in two years. We are friendly when together, but nothing beyond that.
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I can see that! Yes, power plays... Mostly us trying to get our men to help us!
Yes it was. Yelling at me in public, accusing me of treating him like shit... Accusing me of lying and basically cheating, of hiding things from her. I flat out told her that not everything concerned her and sometimes I needed to talk to HIM first and she didn't NEED to know everything. Yes, her husband should be, but nooo... In fact she's been watching our youtube videos, commenting on them and shit. Then she's also been live streaming and asking him to watch and tell her how to improve. Yet she was never interested in it until HE asked me to do it and my brother wanted to as well so he's included.
Brief run down -
Attempted threesome. I did not enjoy. She asked multiple times to join our relationship. We both said no. My dog got attacked by my neighbors the next day. She had texted him asking him to come talk to her, he left without telling me and his ohone was here charging. So when I opened the door and had a Great Dane barking in my face, I went looking for him. Only he wasn't home. I decided I'm an adult, i'll take care of it myself. Well my dogs darted past me and my male was attacked defending my female. I screamed, they came running. She yelled at me for not helping with the bleeding. Sometimes there can just be too many people in one place trying to help and yeah he's a big dog but he's not that big. He was palyin on her phone on the way home from the emergency vet when I wasnt' even allowed to do that. So when he put it down I snooped. She'd not only had him meet her but delete the texts from her phone. The next day we went to pick my dog up, she and someoen i thought was a friend kept texting asking us to come over because she had important news, and saying Loki (My dog) could wait to be picked up but we were supposed to pick him that morning, it was afternoon by the time we got to him.
So we get there and she goes I have cancer. Mind you she pulled shit in high school where she would say shit and it wouldn't be true, she just wanted attention. Then she took us to adventure dome and yelled at me in public there TWICE. Got pissed at me because Iw asn't riding with my brother - He's 14. I'm not gonna make him ride with me, i'll let him CHOOSE who he wants to ride with. Then the next day he went to see Ant-Man with her, she said she won three free tickets. Then recently he lied to me about working late when he went to Fright Dome with her and her husband. I caught the lie by seeing pictures in his phone that they both sent him of that night. And he hurt me big time with that. It must be nice to be able to go out and do stuff. I don't CARE that they paid, it was he lied to me after I asked him to keep his distance from them. I feel like I'm not important, that she's more important. He may not mean to do it, but he is. And if something doesn't change he's going to lose me because of his choices.
Yeah, they only know each other through me. My other best friend of 21 years only sees him as a Ken doll as in no boy parts because he's mine so she refuses to see him as a guy in anyway. She made that mistake when we were teens (which is more acceptable at that age!!! we were still learning!!!) So yeah.
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Lol its true that sometimes they need direction!
She sounds really insecure and needy. I’m not exactly sure if its to him or to the both of you. She might be your best friend, but still it’s not like you’re in a relationship of that level with her. Even if you did sleep together. I would know, I’ve been in that situation myself. Lol
I’m sorry that you didn’t enjoy yourself, hopefully it wasn’t just because it was her. Threesomes can be a bit awkward at times; hopefully if you ever try it again, you will have a good experience. I’ve had one good one, and one bad one, so that’s all I know about it lol Where is her husband on this? I’m all for open love and stuff but it sounds like he’s just an accessory to her while she does whatever. Oh no! I’m sorry that your dog got attacked, that is really unfortunate. I’ve had great Danes growing up, so I understand how scary that must have been. :\ That is true, if there are too many hands in the way, the wound won’t get proper pressure. Woah that is very suspicious, I mean who ever deletes their texts unless they want to hide what was in them?
Oh my, I’m very sorry to hear that your friend has cancer…well if its true. O-o seriously? People actually do that kind of crazy shit? I can’t imagine having that type of crazy in my life. I don’t deal well with lairs or those who seek attention that way. I don’t see why she is so concerned over who your brother rides with. It’s not like he’s a small child, I think its nice that you let him decide. I understand, the lie hurts more than anything, especially when you don’t feel like you can trust the people he’s lying to you about. I’m sure its just stupid teenage things, they pay for him to have fun so he wants to keep doing that, he doesn’t think long term about what that could mean or how that would really hurt you because he can’t perceive that. Though to be honest, I think that’s its weird that two grown adults are taking a young teenager out with them all the time when they aren’t even family.
Lol that’s how I see my best female friend’s husband. The three of us had a threesome and it was more like him and I tag teamed and had sex with her. We never touched or anything, to me he was just there to provide the penis. Lol Understandable, you have a MUCH harder time understanding and controlling one’s emotions as a teen, all those horrible hormones.
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PS. my Skype is The_02.9KPMM_Station
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XP Sometimes, yes!
Speaking of power plays... She's been making them for sure. We didn't have a whole lot of food in the house for awhile there and he told her he was hungry and she brought him food. Not us. Him. Only him. Also, I had to have him ask her to give my brother a ride to and from school - Even knowing he was sick she forced him to get out of bed to go with her to take him to school along with picking him up from school. He called into work that day. That's how not good he was feeling. Two days off and he still had to call into work that day.
Yeah, no. We aren't. We're not even speaking anymore. I refuse to put myself in a situation where she can say and do what she did again. Her husband had NO CLUE what was going on and I don't know if he even knows now. Zach said she told him, but how can I be sure?
It was! The dane was my height!!! I'm 5'3 at my tallest, so I'm on the short side! Yeah, that's why I hung back, as often as I've ended up in the ER for stitches etc.... I may have been panicked and in tears, but I knew better than to jump in. He's a weimaraner so he's a big dog but he's not that big esp with the wound being right below his collar on his shoulders/neck area.
He's locked his phone since then, but I was reading the messages between them, his reasoning for locking it is it has his entire life on there. I don't lock MY phone and my entire life just like his is on my phone. I have nothing to hide, if he wants to look... So be it. It's not like I was snooping anything else, just what they were talking about. Yeah, I found a post on FB talking about how her doctor wanted her to go in for a biopsy a few days before my birthday - You go in for the biopsy BEFORE you say you have cancer. Or HELL it could be NON malignant! You can have cancer cells in your blood and NOT have cancer!
Yeah, people do that type of shit. Sadly. It's another reason why I have cut her out as much as I possibly can. I can't handle the bullshit and the lying or the accusations. He's old enough to decide on his own! Like I said, he's fourteen. Why should I control who he rides with? I was given my freedom at that age. Yes, the lie is what gets me. It still hurts. She's the main cause of a lot of our fights honestly, in some way shape or form, she is. No, he doesn't think in the long term, it's the I want it, I want it NOW syndrome.
They've stopped taking my brother out, but they did take my boyfriend out. My brother now knows what happened. He thinks that Zach is cheating on me, I don't think so, he's too much like me in that aspect, but at the same time, I told him that emotional cheating is a thing and he's done it with them. When he allowed them to take him out and when he lied to me.
Yeah, he fucked her when we had our threesome. He ended up focusing on me - but his dick ended up in her pussy, no one talked to me about boundaries, NOTHING. Over all... I'm just, yeah. I want to move again, but I need to find a job first so we can pay off bills or if I can sell more copies of the two books I self pubbed on amazon, that would be amazing too. Zach's sister offered to let us buy her rental from her if we move to Oklahoma.
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Okay, what was her reasoning for that? I mean, if he’s sick, sick enough that he called in to work after resting for two days, then why would you aggravate that and get him out of bed. Talk about a person who only cares about themselves. As for the food, it’s clearly her ‘subtle’ way to undermine you. This makes me think a lot more that she has always been using you to be close to him, at least in my opinion. I’m sure your husband is very attractive, but I don’t understand the situation at all, I mean, no guy is worth throwing away years of friendship with someone, why the fuck is she acting like this; other than for the above reason.
Well the only way to be sure, is to ask him. Frankly, I have no experience with this type of situation because even if its tactless I ask people things. ‘Did you cheat on me with her? Are you lying to me about not kissing her. You lied, I already know the answer. So start talking.’ If it were me, I would invite them over for dinner and then bring it up. Even if I had to lie about bringing it up, such as, ‘So I’ve been thinking about giving a threesome another try. Since ours didn’t work out very well, ya know? I was thinking of finding a stranger who would be interested experimenting.’ Maybe tossing in, ‘I was wondering if you had anyone else you’ve done this with; maybe Zach and I will feel more comfortable with them?’ This is a very viable lie, because as a Bi-Woman I’ve been approached a lot by couples who do wish to experiment with a third partner. I’m not above playing dirty when it comes to these things, but that is just me. I’m not sure what you are comfortable with, and depending on that, you should take your own actions J
Lol I totally understand!! I’m 5’4”, so only just taller than you. Danes can be really big, especially the males. The running jokes with them is always that they are personal pony’s, and you can ride them. Besides that, if too many people started to crowd the dog, he might have panicked and tried to bite one of you. He was already injured and in pain, it doesn’t matter if you are his owner or not, dogs will react violently sometimes regardless.
Everyone’s entire life is on their phone nowadays. While I lock my phone, everyone one who I trust knows the lock pass if needed. I lock it so strangers don’t get into my phone, and because I’ve had issues with people picking up my phone and going through my personal pictures that aren’t even my friends. –who does that? Seriously- I find it suspicious too, that he doesn’t simply tell you the pass code for it. It’s one thing to lock your phone, its another not to have your significant other be able to get past it. Have you two talked about this? Like actually sat down and said, ‘Honey, I know lately things have been difficult but I wanted to tell you how I’ve been feeling. I’ve been feeling really insecure and upset over…’. A therapist will always say, only use ‘I’ statements, never ‘you’. ‘you’ sounds accusing, and your trying to share with your partner, not point blame.
So it wasn’t even confirmed and she is going around saying she has it. Wow, I can’t even. Where the fuck are you finding all of these shitty people? I mean, wow. I’m trying not to judge too hard, but I’m sooooo judging them, because even if they are the nicest person, if they also do those things, they are people I wouldn’t want in my life. I can’t handle that level of ‘I need drama because my life is so boring otherwise, everyone give me attention!!’
Not to pry, but is there any particular, or important reasons as to why you haven’t cut her out fully? Other than the fact that she is your husband’s bosses wife. People manage not to be friends in those situations most of the time. As for your brother, hopefully his teenagerness won’t get in the way of being a good brother. They can be such assholes at that age, and do a lot of things they end up regretting later on. Also, you said boyfriend??
Emotional cheating is SO a thing, and I completely understand. In fact, I find that more hurtful than anything. Physical lust is that, but emotional connections have to be encouraged to form.
With the married couple I was with, there wasn’t really any discussion of boundaries at the time, but my friend and I had talked about it before in the past so I knew what she’d be comfortable with. If there was no previous discussion about what was okay, then he shouldn’t have done that. It’s a gray area, and because it is, neither of them should have gone that far without stopping to say ‘hey, is this going to be okay? Are we sure?’ I don’t believe in being ‘caught up in the moment’. I don’t care if it would have ruined the said moment, those things are more important.
*hug* I get it, it feels like things have just spiraled out of control and there is no way to fix it. Things will work out, it’ll just take time to understand where this is going. I think moving is a good idea, a fresh start so to speak would be a good ground zero for you and your husband to work off of. I hope you find the job soon, even if it’s a temporary one. Well, I’ve never been to Oklahoma, but I do live in the Midwest, Wisconsin, and can say it’s a nice place to live lol we have nice sandwiches and beer hahaha. On top of that, even if you only end up renting, at least it’s a good place to go if you can’t find anything else and just gets you away from the crazy you are at now.
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Damn good questions. Honestly. My brother said that her husband instituted the rule that she's not allowed to drive anywhere alone due to her heart condition. My brother said the only thing wrong with her is her heart, no cancer nothing. Oh and the crazy. In reference you to something you said later on in your response (I think we could put together a novel between our responses!) my 'husband' is my boyfriend, haha. But yes, she's been doing major power plays and undermining me from the get-go. The moment we got here it was her way or the high way, if she didn't get her way she was throwing a fit. Zach has even admitted she's batshit crazy, which while nice, doesn't do anything to EASE the situation.
I know he's not cheating, I was jealous to begin with and I told them both to give me time to get MY emotions under control but nooo, neither of them did that. Then she started accusing me of shit like cheating on him and treating him like shit. I wash his laundry, make him food, among other things. I do all the household cleaning and I don't ask him for much, so my question is... What don't I do for him?
I'm very shy and I HATE confrontations honestly, I'm the peacekeeper typically. I mean, I've been trying to force him to talk to me when he doesn't want to talk because him keeping quiet doesn't help either. He shuts down and ignores the problem, like ignoring it will make it go away and everything will be perfectly fine and normal again. Life doesn't work that way though, it just makes things worse and especially so when it deals with your partner, someone you love and don't want to lose.
I've NEVER had an issue with a Dane before! And it WAS a male who went after him. Seriously, broke through our fence and went after BOTH our dogs and Loki got between the Dane and our female mutt and I. He's got scars now and his fur is STILL growing back 4 months later. We had a Pyrenees that I had to put down last November, and he was a damn big dog too. Small for his breed but still big. Loki is a mama's boy, no doubt about it but still like you said in pain and all that he may not have even meant to if it had happened. I've been bitten more than once, twice if could have killed me because it was on the bridge of my nose and I was a toddler and the third time I was playing tether ball with a neighbors dog and the dog missed and go my hand. My own fault.
Seriously?! Wow... I'd have been pissed! I carry my phone on me most of the time & because I'm lazy I don't have a lock on it. I have an iPhone though... He say's it's like a diary and that it's person and I don't need to know it. Since we're on the same plan it's not even like I can ask to use it because the phones are currently disconnected. I have nothing to hide which is another reason I don't lock my phone, I don't care if he sees that I've been looking at porn or whatever, I may blush like crazy, but I don't CARE. I don't care if he sees messages from Craigslist - He'll see me telling people that I told that more than once I have a partner. He may be jealous, but I have told them and will continue to tell them. I needed people to talk to outside of my normal people. We have talked about it, but again, he said it's like a diary and how would I feel if he read my diary? I don't have one because I'm an open book and it's not like I'm allowed anything online - She told him about a tumblr post and a couple of posts I made on facebook, that caused fights. She took screen shots and showed her grandfather and she admitted that when he made us talk. However, he took her side when it first happened and had the BALLS to tell me that my profile wasn't as private as I thought because I'm not even friends with her grandfather on there.
Yeah, it wasn't confirmed. When it comes to her I have very little filter and I pick fights even when I'm not MEANING to do so. It doesn't help she texts and bullshits with him, talking to him about things other than work as if it's OKAY that they're friends. It's not, really it's not. I asked him to put distance between them and when he forced us to talk.... She told me I keep him on a leash. As his PARTNER.... I have EVERY right to ask him to put distance between them.... She is nothing to him, but a 'friend'. So what right does she have to accuse me of keeping him on a leash? It wasn't until we moved HERE that he started leaving me behind, doing stuff without me, INTENTIONALLY leaving me out.
I have as much as I can - He has not. That is the issue. Like I mentioned above, she still texts and he responds to her. Like last night for example - She messaged him on kik (I had to ask since when has she had kik?) she sent a few messages, but the ones I caught because ever since we had the huge blowout fight about my snooping or even looking/touching his phone... I haven't, I've avoided it as much as I can even when he reads some of my conversations when I'm on my laptop. Anyway, so she sent him a couple of pictures of her DS and she was playing Pokemon and he had to explain what the red star meant and she was all do you want it? She wonder traded and got a pokemon with the red star. He told her no thanks. Point being, is he shouldn't still be talking to her and he told me that he works for her husband and is worried about it bleeding over. I told him that Liam isn't a good manager if he allows his personal life to affect his work life. She can keep being his ride since we live right down the street, but they don't have to talk outside of work things.
Yeah, my brother is definitely a little asshole some days. He's got a temper and he's frustrated with the situation himself, he wanted to stay in Colorado. He just started high school and he had to leave all of his friends... I left a place where I had a job!
Yeah, emotional cheating is a thing. It's why I hate running to my friend Lachlan - We'd be a couple if we weren't in different country. I always end up running to him when we have a fight, a misunderstanding, anything goes wrong... I can't talk to him, I have to go to Lachlan. I just.... Yeah. Physical hurts to, but I can understand and agree with the you can look but don't fucking touch rule. The emotional you have to FOSTER and put TIME and ENERGY into, the physical is just fleeting.
Yeah, he knows that now. He was terrified he was going to lose me for awhile there. I admit part of it WAS my fault, but at the same time they share equal amounts of blame, yet both of them also have more sexual experience than me. He's ONLY the second guy I've slept with. I lost my virginity at 19 and wasn't with the guy more than 6 or so months, and then I just didn't really date until Zach. So yeah, I'm willing to experiment, but at the same time sometimes you gotta let me come to the idea on my own or offer it on my own. Yeah, I mentioned that I'd be willing and that I trusted her, but they took the idea and ran. I'm the one who wasn't firm enough in saying we need to talk to Zach. However, every time I wanted to talk to him, she was always saying I was hiding shit from her. Our relationship is more important than that 'moment'. He's learned from the mistake though.
However he's started when he's angry, he will deny physical affection or leave without a kiss or even an I love you when he goes to work. He wasn't like this before the move. I know I wasn't as moody or clingy either, but it's a combination of everything - His choosing to leave me out, his attitude, my brother, my dad, my not working.... I wish I was more help than I am currently, but I'm not. I'm useless and I'm feeling it. Especially since I've been comparing myself to HER and wondering what she's got that I don't, since she has my boyfriend so wrapped up in her pretty little lies.
YES! Things spiraled out of control. I know it'll take time to figure out where things are going and how to fix them but... Talking and being WILLING to talk helps as well. Yes, a new start... Again. We moved HERE for a new start, but damnit it's been a shitty one so far!
LOL mine too! I can't do audio books, I have to READ... But shifters are my weakness... Have you read the Anita Blake series? (Yes vampires too lol, but I love her shifters!)
Do you have skype?
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sorry about the long delay in response, life has gotten a bit crazy for me and I just dropped off the internet for a while.
I do have a skype, and while I don't use it all that much, if you'd like to talk there I am will
haha, you're right, we have so much to say XD it makes responding a bit hard cuz we have to keep scrolling up, so i'll try to short hand my responses this time.
As to your brother, I want to say this as the youngest sibling of '4'; don't be too hard on him. I too had a to move when I was a teenager and it was difficult to leave my friends behind, especially since it was friendships I had built up over the past 8 years. At the time of my move the idea of the internet being used to stay in touch wasn't very strong and we quickly fell out of touch by using letters in the mail. I really regret that, and though I made new friends, it was difficult by far to fit in with established groups. I'm hoping your brother was take on a new and positive attitude to grow a pair and make new friends because he needs them lol and not your weird neighbors, but ones his age.
As to Zach, the only thing I think to say to him or about him is this; what do you want? Clearly he's hedging on making any serious moves. Yes, this is his bosses wife we are talking about, but that is even more of a reason for him to not have gotten himself into this situation. I don't know what his job is, but I'm sure if it comes down to it, if his boss ends up wanting to let him go about this situation, I'm sure he'll land on his feet. Even if its hard, at least he'd have a clear conscious, at least the toxicity of what to do with all this bullshit will be over. I'm not sure if you have gotten a job in the mean time, and even if you haven't, as long as you both are communicating and working TOGETHER to make your lives better, things will work our for the best in the end. Leaving things as they are, as you already said, wont fix the issue. You can't ignore a wound because it will still bleed and become infected. This woman is clearly hurting you, and your relationship and thus can't be put aside and ignored, she has to be confronted and forced her actions into the light instead of hiding everything in the shadows. I still firmly believe her husband is ignorant of this, or maybe he is aware but in denial, i don't know if your even the first couple this has gone down with, but it has to stop. For you, I'd say don't let her have the power. She want to see you upset, and you know what? Its okay to be upset. Next time she does something to piss you off, stare her in the face and smile instead. I know from experience people hate that. I am the same as you in that I have a hard time not letting people know my emotions because i wear them on my sleeve, but I assure you, there is nothing more powerful feeling than denying a bitch the reaction she wants. When she wants you mad, and upset, be calm and smile. When she brings food over for him, be sure to be obvious in your thanking to her. Hell, go over to her house to return the dish while her husband is there, and be sure to be extra sweet in your comments. Don't let her run the war. My point being is that, even if you can't resolve the issue right away, its more important for you to not feel helpless to what is going on. Talk with Zach. Even if he shuts down, talk to him. I too tend to shut down when confronted with things i'm uncomfortable with, with things I'm not sure what to do about, so I understand his position in this sense, but I also know that the more someone talks to me about it, the more i'm forced to think about it myself. Stay calm with him, because if you get upset, it'll just make it harder for him to find a solution that he feels comfortable with.
lol I read online all the time, but obviously i can't do that while driving or at work, so audiobooks it is. Plus they're nice for when I'm doing a project. They're mine too!!! The first shifter book I read was called The Silver Wolf by the Alice Borchardt. No, i haven't read the Anita Blake series, but it looks good
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No worries. Life is going to be that way for me. Still no job >< Waiting on taxes and then we will see about moving back to Colorado.
That'd be totally awesome!
haha, you're right, we have so much to say XD it makes responding a bit hard cuz we have to keep scrolling up, so i'll try to short hand my responses this time.
I'm trying not to be, he'll have to do summer school to make up for this year but that was... This move was a fucking DISASTR.
Well... He left. He left me the first of the month. Guess the fighting got to be too much. He told me he couldn't see us together or happy. His mom thinks he's an idiot. She also thinks he wasn't planning on actually leaving. He was still logged into his email, youtube & reddit on my laptop. He told her and my brother basically that he was just over at the ex best friends house for the night. I feel better fuck, I even talked to her. I'm hoping h comes back, but I'm not hoping too much. So I am going to do what is best for me and that's going back to where I know I have a life. Zach won't really talk to me, I asked him if we could meet up and talk and he ignored it, I also asked him when a good time for my brother to come hang out would be... he ignored that one too. He got me a belated Christmas present... Had me check it before he left, the first day he was grabbing his stuff. It's just a disaster of massive proportions. I'd be calm and he'd shut down and I'd end up in tears. She spent 70 or so on his birthday and about the same for Christmas so I finally said enough, choose between one of us and he didn't until the first. He's made his bed and he has to lay in it... I will do what I have to make sure I survive even if it STILL FUCKING HURTS! I hope that he hurts just as bad and is missing me just as much.
Have you ever met someone and you just clicked and couldn't see yourself with anyone else? That was us. His mom says he was head over heels when he went to see his family for Christmas our first Christmas. Crystal got her wish though. She has Zach and he doesn't look the same from the one picture I've seen and seeing him physically. He just... He looks different and his mom says he doesn't look as happy. I worry about him, I can't take care of him anymore because he's there but I still worry and try to do what I can for him. If he comes home... That'd be amazing, but if he doesn't, I'll always miss him but I'll move on eventually..... I mean, you can tell in the stuff I posted on here how much he loved me, I've got videos from October and the beginning of November that shows he still loved me even then, you can't lose feelings that quickly.
lol I read online all the time, but obviously i can't do that while driving or at work, so audiobooks it is. Plus they're nice for when I'm doing a project. They're mine too!!! The first shifter book I read was called The Silver Wolf by the Alice Borchardt. No, i haven't read the Anita Blake series, but it looks good
Hey! That's one of my favorite books!!!! Have you read the entire series? I can't really stand audio books, I don't know why.... Yes yes it is AMAZING!
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Well, I hope your tax return is enough to move again, comfortably. 
Yes actual, though I was the one who left him in the end. After three years, I couldn't take the games he played and the half heart'd planning we would do that never got followed through with. I was tired of the other women, tired of the secrets and the lies, I was just so tired, even though I loved him so damn much; I had hated who I had become. I never imagined myself as the woman who would accept the emotional cheating, the woman who always apologized first, even if I wasn't in the wrong. I loath being jealous, especially when I am purposely provoked and I couldn't live with him always having 'friends who liked him'. Any number of times I felt more like his dirty secret than his beloved girlfriend because he could never bring me home to his mother, because I didn't fit what she wanted for him. I still miss him a lot, even all these years later, but I know what I did was for the best. 
lol yes, I like to read fanfiction as well, so a lot of the time is only available online. I have read the entire series, I thought the first book was the best, but the other two were good as well!!!
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Me too. It's been a month to the day and I miss him still. But, I am planning this move and it *will* happen, no matter what. We are all hoping he wakes up....
*nods* I lucked out with Zach.... If we had the money and a car we always went through with our plans. He was so very GOOD at taking care of me like I took care of him. He never cheated, I still maintain this, it is just not in his nature. The emotional cheating... Iknow he dind't mean to, hell he didn't know it was a thing and in some ways he is... Naive. I hated who I'd become due to Crystal's influence. He wasn't the same and neither was I. I don't blame him for leaving, but I do blame him for not talking to me, for my feeling like he didn't fight for me, for us. His mom loves me.... Hell far as I'm aware his entire family at least LIKES me. His mom sees what Crystal has done and she can't stand her, she's sorry for what happened and the two of us talk daily. She's been an amazing support. Zach had even introduced me to his old boss at a Christmas party for his work, which was totally awesome
Pretty sure he's the one lying to himself. Or just being an idiot. Or both, you never know. Yeah, I'm fighting to stay afloat and I have been having issues sleeping without him. It sucks so so so bad. I miss his warmth, the way he'd hold me, the way he snored... I miss him & everything about him, including his moodyness and all of that. He was MY Zach, my world... I miss being his moon & stars, and him telling me he would be lost without me. I Miss him and who we were before the move. Our base personalities didn't change, but how we interacted did and I tried not to let it, so did he but Crystal... She got her way into EVERYTHING.
Have you ever met someone that you just clicked with? I don't think I told you how he and I met... So we met online and I'd been putting off meeting up with him for a good month or so, well the battery in my truck died so I needed a ride to work (He couldn't do that, he was at work already himself by that time) but I got a ride home with him. He'd been living 40 or so minutes from me and he got off work, showered, changed all that fun stuff and came to get me. I was off at 11? that night and yeah... So anyway, I saw him and it was... We clicked. I don't ever want to touch someone so badly on the first meeting. Not only did he take the cart from me, he went ahead and put it into his trunk for me and then from there we went home. He swapped out the battery for me and since he had to be at work in the morning... He stayed the night, he even shared the bed with my brother... Who at the time was 13. Our mom and older brother are in prison and that's why he shared, he wanted reassurance I wasn't going anywhere on him.
Zach was the first one to say I miss you. Zach... Is amazing. I want MY Zach back, not this creature Crystal turned him into! He's better than what he has been acting. The days when she wasn't really interacting with him he was almost my Zach again. He's not even really talking to his mom now either... *sighs* No matter what I'll survive but... I swear to any and all gods he was/is a soulmate to me.
I loved the first book! I need to re-read them
Here's my skype PersephonesChild
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Thank youu and I will hope too!
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I love someone,
I know these feeling well,
2 times.
but,
they ended,
both hate me,
both ignore me.
both will always,
forever,
never to talk again.
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Never and forever,
are two very strong words,
subject to change,
as humans are.
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de nada es que es un lindo arte
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lol Gracias, fue un momento lindo de mi vida.
Lo siento si mi español es terrible, estoy usando un traductor.
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entiendo y que idioma ablas me caes super bien podriamos ser amigos? no crees?
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Me encantaría ser amigos, pero como he dicho yo no hablo español. Estoy usando un programa de traducirlo así que puedo entender, y luego traducir mi respuesta de nuevo en español para que me entiendas.
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pero abla en tu idioma original yo lo traduzco? te parece?
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Um, qué les hablas Inglés? Si no es así no te preocupes por eso, no me importa la traducción!
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I could talk more or less english emm if you want me you stick on Facebook? www.facebook.com/rockero.otaku…
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I"m almost never on fb to be honest.
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I wish you happiness.
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lol You are most welcomed.
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not sure what you mean by 'true story' but thank you
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Forgive me if I don't make sense. Yw
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lol it was at one time XD though i suppose the idea still applies <3
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I love how this poem kinda mirrors itself... It's awesome to read something that isn't so lonely for a change beacuse despite the loneliness in the beginning of the poem, the second half sorta just overcomes it with this surge of love!
This is an amazing piece. I'd actually like for you to check out this poem I just wrote: Fallin In....
It's for a girl I absolutely love
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lol at that time in my life, that is exactly how I felt when I wrote this. A sure loneliness that was overcome with this surge of love from a boy and my love for him. This poem is so popular perhaps because I wrote it purely as a girl in love, before I was anything else.
<_< I totally bombed it, critiqued and everything... I hope it was what you wanted?
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It was more than what I wanted... Thanks a lot! You'r awesome
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