Comments: 48
JMcool [2008-08-15 03:46:19 +0000 UTC]
This rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!
π: 0 β©: 0
Josh-S [2007-12-16 01:28:44 +0000 UTC]
Nicely done.
I love how you establish a pleasing, almost loving mood, and then unexpectedly kick the reader in the teeth with the true meaning of the poem.
I can see why you're proud of this one.
~ Josh
π: 0 β©: 1
Josh-S In reply to jessica35 [2007-12-16 02:09:14 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome.
~ Josh
π: 0 β©: 0
jessica35 In reply to CSnyder [2007-12-15 23:57:10 +0000 UTC]
thanx
π: 0 β©: 1
jtres21 [2007-12-15 08:30:45 +0000 UTC]
Very beautiful! I love poetry, this might give me some motivation to write again!
π: 0 β©: 1
wibblethefish [2007-08-03 18:46:21 +0000 UTC]
Nice, very true too.
π: 0 β©: 0
dolcexsognando [2007-08-03 18:38:29 +0000 UTC]
I love it. Beauty is only skin deep... hoping thats the basic of this. whats on the outside, doesn't always define whats on the inside? I like the concept you went for with this piece, its brilliant!
π: 0 β©: 1
jessica35 In reply to dolcexsognando [2007-08-03 18:43:14 +0000 UTC]
yes that is exactly what i was trying to say with this ; ) thank you!
π: 0 β©: 0
patterninverted [2007-08-01 00:09:52 +0000 UTC]
Wonderful! I love it. <3
π: 0 β©: 1
Error732 [2007-07-31 22:41:01 +0000 UTC]
Very cutting. I only wish it were in meter so I could praise a proper sonnet!
I mean, I'm not obsessed with form.
Seriously, though, the volta is well set up and well finished.
π: 0 β©: 1
jessica35 In reply to Error732 [2007-07-31 23:41:35 +0000 UTC]
thank you!!! sonnets are soooooo difficult to write, i tryed before and it didnt turn out so nice lol
π: 0 β©: 1
Error732 In reply to jessica35 [2007-08-01 01:04:15 +0000 UTC]
Well, I've found that once you get past the first one, things get easier. Practice makes perfect, and all that.
π: 0 β©: 1
jessica35 In reply to Error732 [2007-08-01 06:56:31 +0000 UTC]
yes that is very true
π: 0 β©: 0
Xbxg32000 [2007-07-02 02:41:57 +0000 UTC]
I enjoyed reading this, it's how to say it...smooth. It flows nicely.
I would like to point out something if you don't mind:
"But deep beneath your beauty, where it really counts
Your not lovely at all, not at any amount.
Your heartless and deceiving, your cold like blocks of ice
No one would dare touch you, not even putrid lice."
When you are saying "you are", use "you're", not "your". The word "your" is used for sentences like "your hair", whereas "you're" is used in sentences like "you're beautiful".
Again, nicely written, I enjoyed reading it! :].
-gl hf
~Xbx
π: 0 β©: 0
screaming4reason [2007-06-28 22:57:59 +0000 UTC]
umm . . . . yeah
if any of your other work is like this youve got a new friend
lol
-G
π: 0 β©: 1
RomanticFae [2007-06-28 03:47:24 +0000 UTC]
very true
i like the lice part
π: 0 β©: 1
jessica35 In reply to RomanticFae [2007-06-28 19:15:41 +0000 UTC]
hmmm interesting, everyone seems to like that part and i cant see why.
π: 0 β©: 0
chokedbunny [2007-06-28 02:56:07 +0000 UTC]
oh that's so amazing
I love stuff like this.
π: 0 β©: 1