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jessica35 β€” skin deep
Published: 2007-06-27 23:41:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 692; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 13
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Description You have lovely hair, which sways with winds embrace.
You have soft skin, like silk with liquid grace.
Your figure is splendidly slim, it curves where it must.
Your build is rough and strong, pleasant to the touch.

Your smile is powerful, a beauteous string of pearls.
Your eyes are diamonds, with blue and purple swirls.
You have a shining essence, lighting up the blackest nights
And at every angle, you’re a string of northern lights.

But deep beneath your beauty, where it really counts
You're not lovely at all, not at any amount.
You're heartless and deceiving, your cold like blocks of ice
No one would dare touch you, not even putrid lice.

Beauty has no effect, unless it runs straight through.
No matter how stunning, your shining brilliant hue.
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Comments: 48

JMcool [2008-08-15 03:46:19 +0000 UTC]

This rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Josh-S [2007-12-16 01:28:44 +0000 UTC]

Nicely done.

I love how you establish a pleasing, almost loving mood, and then unexpectedly kick the reader in the teeth with the true meaning of the poem.

I can see why you're proud of this one.

~ Josh

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jessica35 In reply to Josh-S [2007-12-16 01:40:26 +0000 UTC]

thank you kicking people in the teeth can be fun.

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Josh-S In reply to jessica35 [2007-12-16 02:09:14 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

~ Josh

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KawaiiUniverseStudio [2007-12-16 00:00:40 +0000 UTC]

Intense!

I love your use of vivid sensory vocabulary , lovely written great work!

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jessica35 In reply to KawaiiUniverseStudio [2007-12-16 00:01:49 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the fav!!!

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KawaiiUniverseStudio In reply to jessica35 [2007-12-16 00:03:49 +0000 UTC]

you are welcome!

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CSnyder [2007-12-15 23:52:00 +0000 UTC]

very lovely....
i dont read much poetry but
i love this...

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jessica35 In reply to CSnyder [2007-12-15 23:57:10 +0000 UTC]

thanx

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CSnyder In reply to jessica35 [2007-12-15 23:57:45 +0000 UTC]

you are very welcome...

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CelestialJade121 [2007-12-15 09:29:01 +0000 UTC]

Very nice, you gave it a nice rhythem .
I also like how you started off with it seeming like it was a nice happy poem and than changed the prospective at the end. Very nice

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jessica35 In reply to CelestialJade121 [2007-12-15 18:28:12 +0000 UTC]

thak you

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CelestialJade121 In reply to jessica35 [2007-12-15 20:03:40 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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DPasschier [2007-12-15 08:45:00 +0000 UTC]

You have a way with words, keep up the good work.

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DPasschier [2007-12-15 08:40:26 +0000 UTC]

You have a way with words, keep up the good work.

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jessica35 In reply to DPasschier [2007-12-15 08:41:51 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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jtres21 [2007-12-15 08:30:45 +0000 UTC]

Very beautiful! I love poetry, this might give me some motivation to write again!

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jessica35 In reply to jtres21 [2007-12-15 08:36:06 +0000 UTC]

I love poetry too! glad i could help with the motivation, you should write again. thank you

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wibblethefish [2007-08-03 18:46:21 +0000 UTC]

Nice, very true too.

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dolcexsognando [2007-08-03 18:38:29 +0000 UTC]

I love it. Beauty is only skin deep... hoping thats the basic of this. whats on the outside, doesn't always define whats on the inside? I like the concept you went for with this piece, its brilliant!

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jessica35 In reply to dolcexsognando [2007-08-03 18:43:14 +0000 UTC]

yes that is exactly what i was trying to say with this ; ) thank you!

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patterninverted [2007-08-01 00:09:52 +0000 UTC]

Wonderful! I love it. <3

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jessica35 In reply to patterninverted [2007-08-01 06:57:09 +0000 UTC]

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Error732 [2007-07-31 22:41:01 +0000 UTC]

Very cutting. I only wish it were in meter so I could praise a proper sonnet!

I mean, I'm not obsessed with form.

Seriously, though, the volta is well set up and well finished.

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jessica35 In reply to Error732 [2007-07-31 23:41:35 +0000 UTC]

thank you!!! sonnets are soooooo difficult to write, i tryed before and it didnt turn out so nice lol

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Error732 In reply to jessica35 [2007-08-01 01:04:15 +0000 UTC]

Well, I've found that once you get past the first one, things get easier. Practice makes perfect, and all that.

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jessica35 In reply to Error732 [2007-08-01 06:56:31 +0000 UTC]

yes that is very true

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zippedspark [2007-07-31 06:25:52 +0000 UTC]

Very wonderful poem, one of the best I've read in a long time.
Beautiful all the way through and so true.

One of the first I've in a while

Awesome

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Xbxg32000 [2007-07-02 02:41:57 +0000 UTC]

I enjoyed reading this, it's how to say it...smooth. It flows nicely.

I would like to point out something if you don't mind:

"But deep beneath your beauty, where it really counts
Your not lovely at all, not at any amount.
Your heartless and deceiving, your cold like blocks of ice
No one would dare touch you, not even putrid lice."

When you are saying "you are", use "you're", not "your". The word "your" is used for sentences like "your hair", whereas "you're" is used in sentences like "you're beautiful".

Again, nicely written, I enjoyed reading it! :].

-gl hf
~Xbx

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Sequeena [2007-06-29 18:16:34 +0000 UTC]

Wow, I have to say that I'm not really a fan of poetry, but this, this is really lovely!

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jessica35 In reply to Sequeena [2007-06-30 20:45:44 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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seanpt [2007-06-29 16:15:46 +0000 UTC]

thats really beautiful and i totally hear ya on this one! (and i almost never fave poetry, so i really love this one! lol)

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jessica35 In reply to seanpt [2007-06-29 17:53:02 +0000 UTC]

thank you !

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1Monsterblood1 [2007-06-29 07:48:15 +0000 UTC]

This is really really really good!

Well said indeed!!!

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jessica35 In reply to 1Monsterblood1 [2007-06-29 17:51:32 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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screaming4reason [2007-06-28 22:57:59 +0000 UTC]

umm . . . . yeah
if any of your other work is like this youve got a new friend
lol
-G

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jessica35 In reply to screaming4reason [2007-06-28 23:38:57 +0000 UTC]

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Garrison-Kelly [2007-06-28 04:03:33 +0000 UTC]

This is some powerful poetry you've got here Jessica! That putrid lice line was very innovative

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jessica35 In reply to Garrison-Kelly [2007-06-28 19:13:46 +0000 UTC]

lol why thank you

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Garrison-Kelly In reply to jessica35 [2007-06-28 21:12:29 +0000 UTC]

Hehehehehe!

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Maly-Jo [2007-06-28 03:49:48 +0000 UTC]

So true!!! I love the harmony among the words!! Awesome

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jessica35 In reply to Maly-Jo [2007-06-28 19:14:31 +0000 UTC]

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RomanticFae [2007-06-28 03:47:24 +0000 UTC]

very true
i like the lice part

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jessica35 In reply to RomanticFae [2007-06-28 19:15:41 +0000 UTC]

hmmm interesting, everyone seems to like that part and i cant see why.

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chokedbunny [2007-06-28 02:56:07 +0000 UTC]

oh that's so amazing
I love stuff like this.

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jessica35 In reply to chokedbunny [2007-06-28 03:02:37 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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FireBendingArchangel [2007-06-27 23:44:29 +0000 UTC]

I like it Good work, it's very true

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jessica35 In reply to FireBendingArchangel [2007-06-28 00:45:51 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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