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Isriana — Skyrim: Guard Talk
Published: 2012-03-22 20:25:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 168809; Favourites: 1712; Downloads: 0
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This... I'm not even sure what it is.
Other than a silly idea that wouldn't leave me alone until I went and drew it. What I should have done, was to write a course assignment I must leave in tomorrow. Get out of my head just for few days, Skyrim, or I will fail these courses!So, sometimes I wonder whether every guard in Skyrim has multiple personalities or something. I walk past one and he says he respects me for using my both gods given hands for my weapon. Then I come back a minute later and the same fellow goes: "Hands to yourself, sneak thief! You're not fooling anyone, you Thieves Guild scum." Talk about awkward transitions - it just never gets old.
Oh, and Markarth... Seriously, I still get lost in there every time I visit. Those dwemer might have been aces at inventing stuff but their cities just make no sense at all.
When it comes to arrows and knees this is probably my favorite video reference so far
[link] Bron Martes © me
Markarth Guards and their comments © Bethesda
from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
For more fan art inspired by The Elder Scrolls take a look at here !
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Comments: 386
Install "divine retribution for mention of arrows to the knee."
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Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop that... shouting. It's making people nervous!
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Too bad, there's more where it came from
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I like to imagine that all of the guards in skyrim are in on the joke of repeating phrases over and over, just for the reaction of skyrim noobies.
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Speaking of Markarth, when you play a female character and get jailed in Cidna Mine doing The Forsworn Conspiracy, why are you the only girl there other than the Orc woman who just oversees the place? It's almost like I'm gonna get pounced on...But I beat up Borkul the Beast and everyone stays away! XD
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XD basicly Me, make my character naked and put them near a guard...snd wait till they notice
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XD This is great. Happens all the time. I just walk with the guards to see what they say.
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I loved in Oblivion how the guards could give you directions and help you in quests, when they weren't calling you a criminal scum.
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I think this was the funniest Skyrim strip you did!!!! Absolutely love it!! Love it as much as I hate Markarth...it really is an awful place...almost as bad Winterhold and Windhelm...ESPECIALLY Windhelm...god that place depresses the shit out of me...and Markarth just pisses me off... I always avoid it like the plague!
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He's right about that! There is something seriously wrong with those guards...
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And while he's complaining about the arrow in the knee, Bron lockpicks the door he's guarding
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I've played Skyrim so much I can just hear the guards' voice saying those lines when i read it! So accurate...
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My friend recently got Skyrim, now my favorite hobby is to bother him with questions about Oldasruin
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Skyrim guards < Imperial guards
Seriously, if they're not telling you to stop that Shouting, getting in the way of dragon battles or going on about their marriage...guards...ugh. Bethesda had too much fun with them this time round.
Not sayin' they ain't enjoyable! XD XD XD
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Don't you just love the hold guards? And their dialogue is only one great thing...
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At least the guards in Oblivion were good for directions. These guards are pure uselessness...outside of pickpocketing all their stuff, of course.
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This is absolutely true. I literally choked on my laughter.
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No matter how many times I read this its still funny like the very first time! I actually have a mod in game that improves guard dialogue, but after seeing this I may take it back out xD
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aye,feel yer pain bro,and whats the with the "lemme quess someone stole yer sweetroll" thingy? is he hitting on me or something?
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I have a mod... Every time they make the sweetroll quip, they turn into one
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lemme quess: ya never ate so much sweetroles in yer life?
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sounds goooood! care to share? the guards always take mine
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Sure.
*Opens sack, room is drowned in sweetrolls*
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*dives in like a dolphin* been eating only raw meat fer days!
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this reminds me of one time, after i killed the dragon close to whiterun. i was sprinting as fast as i can to find the jarl to tell him about what happened. i sprinted past this guard and he just called out "no lollygagging" i stopped in my place after hearing that and was really tempted to beat his head in with my sword. but i decided not to and walked on. i was kinda pissed at him when i passed by another guard who said "let me guess, someone stole your sweet roll?" and i "FUS'd" him out of the way -true story
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*Gets to Skyrim from Bruma* Wow the guards here are really stupid. Back home in cyrodill you can at least ask the guards for directions.
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This is so true! You try and have a normal conversation and this is what happens. XD
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That is because all the guards are inbreeds, there used to be only 2 guards at first, and then a secret pact made between the guards about Guards are only allowed to mate with guards where made, and only those born of a guard could be a guard...........might aswell be true since they are all idiots
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Oh my gods; THIS. ^ That is such a perfect theory I can't even. XD
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