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IrkenFenrir β€” My Own IZ Fanfic
Published: 2010-11-14 21:11:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 378; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description Disclaimer: I do NOT own Invader Zim or any of the characters in this story, obviously. Also, this is my first try at any kind of literature anything, so try to be a cold, heartless, and harsh as possible when telling me how I did, that is all.(PS. If the setting changes, I do not take the time to actually write Setting: Whatever, I only started out with this for the sake of clarity, any other scene changes I will try to weave into either the dialog or into the descriptions.)

Settingibs room
As the alarm went off, Dib awoke and hit the dismiss button on his alarm.
Dib: uhhhh, why does morning have to come so early?
He gets up and grabs his glasses, he walks around his room and gets ready for school, putting on his nuetral face T-shirt and his jacket. After this he proceeds to grab his backpack and head for his door, but before he gets there, Gaz bursts through the door and grabs Dib by the collar of his shirt.
Gazaccusingly) Did you eat all the Frankin' Chokies?(holds up an empty box of the cereal to his face, and turns it upside down, a few crumbs fall out) If you did, I will bring the rains of destruction down upon you pitiful soul Dib, I will make you feel...
Dib: (Interrupting her) NO, I did not eat your cereal, no let me go, I am going to be late for Skool!
Gaz: If I find out it was you...
Dib: I know, I know, Destruction and darkness, I get it.
Geeze, thought Dib, my sister gets scarier and scarier everyday. Things had gotten worse and worse between them ever since Dib started High school, and Dib had no idea why. Not that the two had ever been particularly close, just worse now than ever before.
Dib goes downstairs and grabs a piece of toast off a plate on the middle of the table, and starts munching on it as he walks out the door towards the Skool. He decides, like he usually does, to take a little detour and head by Zims house to try to follow him and maybe catch a glimpse of his next evil plan. Even after years of constant failures, Zim still manages to put together a new scheme every week, sometimes more than one!
Dib: Someday, I will catch that little alien and turn him into the government, then I will become famous, stop the massive from destroying the Earth, and become the savior to all Humans; then and only then, will I stop talking to myself.
As Dib says this, he starts to get near to Zims house, which stands out from all the surrounding houses. The house has a dark purple roof, an olive green paint, and large, slanting windows that are asymmetrical to the rest to the house, not to mention the creepy gnomes that make up Zims perimeter defense system.Β Β He then notices the front door open and Zim walk outside and start heading for the sidewalk. Dib runs up to him.
Dib: Zim! Whatever your evil plan is, I am going to stop it!( he points his finger at Zim)
Zim: Again with this? Foolish human, you shall never defeat the greatness that is Zim! My next plan is foolproof, there is no way that you will ever stop it!HA HA HA HA HA HA HA( Zim lifts his arms into the air and laughs maniacally)
Dib: Oh yeah, and what is this plan of yours Zim? You have been on Earth for over 5 years,and you have still failed to win. Face it Zim, no Irken is a match for a Human!
Zim: Fool, any Irken, even a smeet, could easily defeat you, filthy Dib-Stink!
Dib: Is that so, then why can't YOU defeat me?
Zim: ...SILENCE, YOU WILL BOW BEFORE MY SUPERIORITY WORM-BABY HUMAN!
Dib: sure sure, see you later Zim, and when I do, I will once again stop your plan.
Zim: Never! You will not..hey, where are you going, get back here Dib-Stink!
Dib walks away smiling to himself in his victory. He then headed on his way to skool.
Okay yes, I know very short, but try to send me some feedback, and if anybody likes it , send me a suggestion for what you think should happen next! Maybe I will add it into the story. Or don't, its whatever. I can also revise this one I suppose if it is not to your liking
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Comments: 20

kityboo [2010-12-05 05:58:58 +0000 UTC]

Make it that Zim was acutally in love with Dib from the begining thats why he hasnt taken over earth 8D

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IrkenFenrir In reply to kityboo [2010-12-05 06:02:43 +0000 UTC]

That would be funny. I dont know if it will become a Zadr though. Mabey, mabey not. Who knows

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kityboo In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-12-05 06:06:52 +0000 UTC]

Who knows 83

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IrkenFenrir In reply to kityboo [2010-12-05 06:07:57 +0000 UTC]

Well, my bed time is at least midnight, so I sadly must go. Talk to you tomorrow?

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kityboo In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-12-05 06:08:58 +0000 UTC]

Awe really you have to go ~she pouted~ and yes we shall if im on i shall talk to you wait! do you have a cell phone?

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IrkenFenrir In reply to kityboo [2010-12-05 06:10:02 +0000 UTC]

Yes, why?

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kityboo In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-12-05 06:11:06 +0000 UTC]

1-808-557-4388 so we can talk outside of the internet ~she winked~

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IrkenFenrir In reply to kityboo [2010-12-05 06:12:21 +0000 UTC]

Can I text that number?

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kityboo In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-12-05 06:18:44 +0000 UTC]

Yes you may 83

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IrkenFenrir In reply to kityboo [2010-12-05 06:20:28 +0000 UTC]

alrighty, well I will text you so you have my number, then I am going to bed. I stayed up way to late as it is. Nighty night!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

sailorcelestial [2010-11-15 07:36:58 +0000 UTC]

I think it's cute~ Ooh! And we get to decide what's next!? AWESOME!!! That's the best, the readers decide the next part! *Laughs*

So, what's this story supposed to be about? Just a random story where we decide what happens next? 'Cause that sounds like so much fun! *^v^* Oh, and if you want some advice: Writing in script-format is okay, just put an extra space between each speaker. Like...

Zim: I will destroy you!

Dib: Yeah, right!

You see? That's easier to read. Also, usually people encase the actions in *s. Like this...

Dib: Whatever your evil plan is, I'm going to stop it! *He points his finger at Zim*

You might want to put a summary at the top, explaining what kind of story this is. (I've found that it's annoying to read Fan-Fics on DA because they don't have the handy-dandy summaries like www.fanfiction.net does. So, since you can see the first part of the fic, you should write the summary there where people can see it!)

Remember to add a couple of extra spaces (paragraph breaks, actually) between scene changes, and also, the Author's Comments that you have at the end of the fic, put them in the comments at the bottom. That'll help organize things better. It makes it easier to read.

OH! And one more thing, you have pretty good grammar, but just don't forget to capitalize things. I notice sometimes you forget, so make sure to read through it again to make sure you didn't miss stuff.

Okay! Now for what should happen next...THEY SHOULD GO ON A FIELD-TRIP!!! Like, an actual one, to a...CORNFIELD!!! *Laughs* Yeah, they could have a field-trip to a farm for education and stuff! *^v^*

(P.S.! You wrote "IV" in the title. Did you mean to write "IZ"? If not, then what does "IV" mean?)

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 2

IrkenFenrir In reply to sailorcelestial [2010-11-17 03:58:16 +0000 UTC]

Hey, if you want me to make another, you should send me a message with a due date, that way I cannot procrastinate it into a whole new level of procrastination.

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sailorcelestial In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-11-21 04:02:08 +0000 UTC]

Aw, but I'm LAZY!!! *Pouts* But I don't know how long it would take for you...so...maybe about...sheesh, I dunno! How long would it normally take you?

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IrkenFenrir In reply to sailorcelestial [2010-11-21 06:07:40 +0000 UTC]

That one took me like 5 minutes, but thats because it had no real plot, character development, action, or, well, anything really. So it was easy. Now, for an entire story, it would take me much longer, but if I do not get a due date, I will never get it done. I am weird that way. I suppose if I actually worked on it every now and then, I could have it done withing a few days to a week, just give me a date and I will work to get that date on time. Oh,and I am not nearly arrogant enough to think that I would do something perfect. If you always get only positive feedback, how will you ever get any better? You do not learn anything from winning, only in losing do you learn from your mistakes and get better.

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sailorcelestial In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-11-22 04:10:48 +0000 UTC]

Maybe you should work on it piece by piece? Like, after you write the part where they go to a farm, you can ask people what should happen at the farm and so on? That shouldn't take very long, and it'll be entertaining to the readers! *^v^* I'd ask for about a week for something like that.

(Oh! And you can fix the title of your fic. Just use the "Edit Deviation" button.)

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IrkenFenrir In reply to sailorcelestial [2010-11-22 04:15:04 +0000 UTC]

oh, and I just changed the title, so, yeah, I did it. That was rather anticlimactic. I thought that it would be hard, but no, it took me like a whole 5 seconds

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sailorcelestial In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-11-22 04:36:14 +0000 UTC]

*Laughs* I know, that's what I thought when I first used it, too!

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IrkenFenrir In reply to sailorcelestial [2010-11-22 04:12:20 +0000 UTC]

sure sure, I will change it, sorry, I forgot about that, I meant to change it, just forgot

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IrkenFenrir In reply to sailorcelestial [2010-11-16 03:48:42 +0000 UTC]

Wow, sorry this took me a whole 20 hours to respond to, very busy busy busy, thanks for the feedback. Now, where do I start responding to this comment? This story can be about anything, as long as it makes sense, so yes. You, the reader, gets to decide what I write about happening next. As the first person to respond, I will definitly try to write about a fieldtrip to a farm. Thank you for all the ideas, such as the spacing, asterick placement(*) and capatilization. ALso I will work on a summary for each chapter. Finally, yes, I meant to put IZ not IV. I always get v and z mixed up when I type. Also, I always have trouble with capatilization when I type, I always hit the shift key, buy I always let go to fast. Thank you for your feed back, it really means alot to me.

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sailorcelestial In reply to IrkenFenrir [2010-11-21 04:00:56 +0000 UTC]

Sure, no problem! It's really nice when someone takes criticism well~! You have no idea how many scary artists there are out there who'll just cry or snap at you if you say something SLIGHTLY negative about their work! *Laughs*

Anyways, you could use the CAPS LOCK key on the left, but that could take some getting used to if you're used to using the shift. You also have to press it again to get lowercase, but it's very useful WHEN TALKING ALL IN CAPS LIKE THIS! *Laughs*

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