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Hazama-Yuutou — [Spoilers] Master and Servant
Published: 2017-12-29 08:32:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 889; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 2
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Description
Shion, a poverty-cursed woman, and Joon Yorigami, a lady bathing in luxury, are the final bosses of Antinomy of Common Flowers.Currently behind a mature filter, because of spoilers.
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Comments: 8
I feel like trying out critiquing and I see this critique request where I feel I can contribute, so here goes.
The first thing I notice is the static unmoving patterns of Joon's coat. An unmoving pattern is an accepted practice for complex patterns. I do it, the AoCF sprites do it, and many other artists do it. However, this picture, with the focus on Joon's sleeve is calling attention to it, which makes it difficult to not notice the neverending static pattern (You even got her patterns on what I assume is supposed to be a fire there). My recommendation would be to reduce focus on the pattern so as to make it less noticable or to use different layers of patterns on different locations to make it look less static.
Noses are ugly lumps of flesh stuck on our face for most of our life but they are important for breathing. Some art styles, too, require noses to make their character not look like Voldemort. This picture, with the semi-realistic lips, has an art style that calls for noses. Shion's lack of it is uncanny (unless this is what you're going for). Don't be afraid to draw noses.
While Joon's hands are drawn pretty well, I feel that Shion's hands feel a bit off. I almost mistook Shion's right arm to be Joon's. Both the positioning of the upper arm from Shion's shoulder and the fingers need work.
Joon's eyes are very intense, I love it. The shading, the glare, and the covered lower face gives it a genuinely intimidating or "badass" feel. Perfect for the binbougami who will punch face with a fistful of rings. Her sleeve turning yellow-ish into possibly fire is a good concept, you should expand on it (Might help against the pattern thing too).
Hope this helps.
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I think you can un-mature this one now since spoilers are LONG past
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where do i get this "Shiny mokou"
i bet she is on bamboo lost forest xd
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... Actually, yeah.
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Wait seriously?!
That's one of her attacks?!
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