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Description
You ran a hand through your (h/c) hair as you stared at the wooden door. You looked down, to where you were still wearing your green cloak that was caked with mud and dried blood. Closing your eyes for a moment, you shook your hands a little before hesitantly knocking on the door. "Eren? It's me, (f/n). Please, open the door." You said.

"Leave me alone." A voice came through. It sounded hoarse and tired.

"Eren-"

"I said leave me alone. Go away."

You turned so your back was against the door, and slumped down to the floor. You let out a shaky breath before covering your face with your hands. Don't cry. Don't cry. But the tears already poked at the corners of your eyes. "Eren, let me in." You said, trying to control the shakiness in your voice.

He was silent. You took this as a sign to enter.

You sighed and wiped at your eyes before standing up. You stared at the slab of wood for a moment before resting your palm on the knob and opening it. As you closed the door behind you, you scanned the room for the green-eyed boy. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. You saw a door cracked open, and decided that it was the best place to enter. You walked towards it, and opened it slowly.

Eren was sitting on his bed, with his elbows on his knees and his face in his palms. His jacket was tossed off into the corner of the room, while his bloodied cloak was in another corner. A lamp was shattered to the side. You looked around to see the drawers open, some had come completely out, as clothes were strewn all over the floor. A few books were out as well, flipped to a random page and tossed all around the room. You looked back to the boy, who's back was heaving up and down with large breaths. You stepped in the room and closed the door behind you with a soft thud. At the noise, he looked up at you with a soft gasp. His green eyes were red from crying, and his cheeks were tear-stained.

He quickly stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, turning his gaze to the floor. "You shouldn't be here." He muttered.

You walked forward and took grabbed his hands. "Look at me." You told him sternly, looking up at him. He was still before turning so his green eyes connected with your (e/c) ones. So much pain swam through those gorgeous eyes of his, so much hurt. You gave him a concerned look before reaching your hands up to cup his face. "Everything is going to be okay." You whispered.

"No..." He murmured, avoiding your gaze by looking to his right.

You turned the same way and tried to find his eyes once again. "Yes, everything is going to work out." You said calmly.

He suddenly grabbed your hands and pushed them away. "God, how could you say that (f/n)?!" He pulled away from you and walked to the other side of the room. "How could you say that everything's going to be fine when so many people died? Do you know what it feels like to watch your entire squad die right before your eyes!"

"No, but I do know what it feels like to lose a friend. Did you forget that Petra was my only friend from the superiors?" You hissed at him. You were starting to get annoyed with his attitude. You were only trying to help, and all he did was push himself farther away. But this is why you had come. You knew he would do this, this is how he dealt his his emotions. Pushing everyone away and keeping them bottled up until they exploded. This is why you had come to save him from that.

"Yes, I remember (f/n), but what if it was your entire squad? And all you did was sit there and watch them die?" He raised his hands to his head and ran his fingers through his chocolate brown hair. You sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up at him. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT THAT THEY'RE DEAD! I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING (f/n), I COULD HAVE SAVED THEM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING! AND WHAT DID I DO?"

"You trusted your gut, and there must be a good reason why you did that. Stop blaming yourself, Eren, you're just as guilty as everyone else is. It's not your fault!" You told him.

He dropped his hands to his sides and stared at the mirror that was over his dresser. "I could have stopped them from dying. And I just stood there and did nothing..." He stared at his reflection. "Now I see what everyone else saw. A monster." He grabbed a heavy book from the floor and slammed it on the mirror, where it shattered with several clinking and clanking noises.

"Eren!" You said, standing up.

"I COULD HAVE SAVED THEM! AND I DID NOTHING! I'VE LOST MY HUMANITY (f/n), AND THESE PEOPLE STILL PUT THEIR FAITH IN ME!" He said, throwing the book at the wall. "THEY EXPECT ME TO SAVE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, WHEN I COULDN'T SAVE LESS THAN FIVE!"

"Calm down!" You said, grabbing him by the shoulders. His green eyes bore into yours, and you saw every emotion in them as tears streamed down his cheeks. Anger, Pain, Sadness, everything to create a broken man.

"I'm a monster, and it's all my fault they've died." He whispered, setting his hands on your hips and looking down in shame.

"Eren, it's not your fault." You said. You stood on your toes so your forehead touched his. "Please, please listen. You're not a monster. You're human, just like Mikasa, just like Armin, just like Levi, just like me. You're just like us. You're not responsible for their deaths, please, listen to me." You whispered, keeping your eyes trained on his closed ones as your foreheads remained in contact.

His grip tightened on your hips before he let out a choked sob. You reached a hand up to his head and pulled him down so it was resting against your shoulder. His sobs started coming freely as he pulled you against him. You slowly sat down on the edge of the bed as he followed you down, sitting beside you. He hugged you tightly against him as you stroked his back and let him cry onto your shoulder. "Shhhh, it's alright... Let it out..." You soothed.

He moved his head from your shoulder, and rested his forehead against your chest. You were silent for a moment due to the sudden action, but rested one hand on his back, and let the other run through his chocolate brown hair. You felt his tears soak through your shirt an onto your skin, but you let him stay against you. His breaths were short gasps in between his crying. "I-I don't know wh-what do d-do, (f/n)." He choked out. "S-So many p-people are c-counting on me a-and... I-I'm scared to l-let them down."

He pressed his forehead to your neck as you laid your chin atop his hair. Your could feel his eyelashes brushing against your collarbone. "(f-f/n)?" He asked.

"Yes?" You whispered, soothingly patting his back.

"H-How do you continue to d-do this?" He whispered back.

You stopped your patting and tilted your head slightly, looking down. His forehead was against your chest, and he stared down at your shirt. His green eyes were filled with hurt. "Do what?" You asked.

"How do you continue... to love a monster?" He whispered quietly. You stared down at him for a moment longer. He was serious. You cupped his face with your hands and raised it so he was at eye-level with you. Tears fell from his eyes to your fingertips.

"I don't love a monster." You whispered. "I love a man. A brave, strong man, who is human like the rest of us. A man who isn't afraid to show who he really is, not afraid to stand up to anyone. I'm in love with my best friend. I'm in love with you, Eren. That will never change, even if you are responsible for someone's death."

He stared at you for a moment. What was in his eyes now? Confusion? Relief? Still a few strands of pain? He sighed and gave you a sad smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours in a soft and gentle kiss. His hands gripped your hips as you stroked his cheeks with your thumbs. Once he pulled away, he rested his forehead on yours. "Thank you." He whispered.

You were silent for a moment. "For what?" You asked, slightly confused.

He smiled. "For loving me. For being alive, with me here. To pull me out of insanity." He whispered. He pecked your lips once more before pulling away. He used the back of his hand to wipe away his tears. "I'm sorry you had to see all that." He said, looking over to the shattered mirror behind him.

"We'll clean it up tomorrow." You said. You stood up with a sigh and began walking to the door.

Something grabbed your wrist. "No... Stay with me, please. I need you here..." Eren whispered from where he sat on the edge of his bed. You gave him a small smile, and leaned forward to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. He grinned and scooted to the front of the bed. You took off your cloak and jacket, putting them over a chair that was in the corner of the room. Eren was already in the bed, with the covers drawn up to his chin. You giggled at his childish looking form, and crawled in beside him. He smiled and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close so your head was rested against his bare chest. You heard his steady heartbeat and you smiled. What a lovely noise, a symbol of life.

It was a comfortable silence between you two. Eren was the first to speak. "(f/n)? Can you promise me something?" He whispered. You tilted your face up so you could see his green eyes. You hummed in response. "Will you always love this monster?" He asked.

You reached up and pressed your lips against his in a sweet, soft, and gentle kiss. "You're my monster. And I'll always love you, no matter what." You whispered. He smiled and kissed you again, this one a little longer. Once you pulled away, you rested your head against his chest. You fell asleep to the steady lullaby of his heart.

This was what it was like to love a monster.

But this monster was human, and it had feelings just as any other living thing did.

So you'd love this monster.

No matter what.

Description
You ran a hand through your (h/c) hair as you stared at the wooden door. You looked down, to where you were still wearing your green cloak that was caked with mud and dried blood. Closing your eyes for a moment, you shook your hands a little before hesitantly knocking on the door. "Eren? It's me, (f/n). Please, open the door." You said.

"Leave me alone." A voice came through. It sounded hoarse and tired.

"Eren-"

"I said leave me alone. Go away."

You turned so your back was against the door, and slumped down to the floor. You let out a shaky breath before covering your face with your hands. Don't cry. Don't cry. But the tears already poked at the corners of your eyes. "Eren, let me in." You said, trying to control the shakiness in your voice.

He was silent. You took this as a sign to enter.

You sighed and wiped at your eyes before standing up. You stared at the slab of wood for a moment before resting your palm on the knob and opening it. As you closed the door behind you, you scanned the room for the green-eyed boy. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. You saw a door cracked open, and decided that it was the best place to enter. You walked towards it, and opened it slowly.

Eren was sitting on his bed, with his elbows on his knees and his face in his palms. His jacket was tossed off into the corner of the room, while his bloodied cloak was in another corner. A lamp was shattered to the side. You looked around to see the drawers open, some had come completely out, as clothes were strewn all over the floor. A few books were out as well, flipped to a random page and tossed all around the room. You looked back to the boy, who's back was heaving up and down with large breaths. You stepped in the room and closed the door behind you with a soft thud. At the noise, he looked up at you with a soft gasp. His green eyes were red from crying, and his cheeks were tear-stained.

He quickly stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, turning his gaze to the floor. "You shouldn't be here." He muttered.

You walked forward and took grabbed his hands. "Look at me." You told him sternly, looking up at him. He was still before turning so his green eyes connected with your (e/c) ones. So much pain swam through those gorgeous eyes of his, so much hurt. You gave him a concerned look before reaching your hands up to cup his face. "Everything is going to be okay." You whispered.

"No..." He murmured, avoiding your gaze by looking to his right.

You turned the same way and tried to find his eyes once again. "Yes, everything is going to work out." You said calmly.

He suddenly grabbed your hands and pushed them away. "God, how could you say that (f/n)?!" He pulled away from you and walked to the other side of the room. "How could you say that everything's going to be fine when so many people died? Do you know what it feels like to watch your entire squad die right before your eyes!"

"No, but I do know what it feels like to lose a friend. Did you forget that Petra was my only friend from the superiors?" You hissed at him. You were starting to get annoyed with his attitude. You were only trying to help, and all he did was push himself farther away. But this is why you had come. You knew he would do this, this is how he dealt his his emotions. Pushing everyone away and keeping them bottled up until they exploded. This is why you had come to save him from that.

"Yes, I remember (f/n), but what if it was your entire squad? And all you did was sit there and watch them die?" He raised his hands to his head and ran his fingers through his chocolate brown hair. You sat down on the edge of his bed and looked up at him. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT THAT THEY'RE DEAD! I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING (f/n), I COULD HAVE SAVED THEM FROM THE VERY BEGINNING! AND WHAT DID I DO?"

"You trusted your gut, and there must be a good reason why you did that. Stop blaming yourself, Eren, you're just as guilty as everyone else is. It's not your fault!" You told him.

He dropped his hands to his sides and stared at the mirror that was over his dresser. "I could have stopped them from dying. And I just stood there and did nothing..." He stared at his reflection. "Now I see what everyone else saw. A monster." He grabbed a heavy book from the floor and slammed it on the mirror, where it shattered with several clinking and clanking noises.

"Eren!" You said, standing up.

"I COULD HAVE SAVED THEM! AND I DID NOTHING! I'VE LOST MY HUMANITY (f/n), AND THESE PEOPLE STILL PUT THEIR FAITH IN ME!" He said, throwing the book at the wall. "THEY EXPECT ME TO SAVE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE, WHEN I COULDN'T SAVE LESS THAN FIVE!"

"Calm down!" You said, grabbing him by the shoulders. His green eyes bore into yours, and you saw every emotion in them as tears streamed down his cheeks. Anger, Pain, Sadness, everything to create a broken man.

"I'm a monster, and it's all my fault they've died." He whispered, setting his hands on your hips and looking down in shame.

"Eren, it's not your fault." You said. You stood on your toes so your forehead touched his. "Please, please listen. You're not a monster. You're human, just like Mikasa, just like Armin, just like Levi, just like me. You're just like us. You're not responsible for their deaths, please, listen to me." You whispered, keeping your eyes trained on his closed ones as your foreheads remained in contact.

His grip tightened on your hips before he let out a choked sob. You reached a hand up to his head and pulled him down so it was resting against your shoulder. His sobs started coming freely as he pulled you against him. You slowly sat down on the edge of the bed as he followed you down, sitting beside you. He hugged you tightly against him as you stroked his back and let him cry onto your shoulder. "Shhhh, it's alright... Let it out..." You soothed.

He moved his head from your shoulder, and rested his forehead against your chest. You were silent for a moment due to the sudden action, but rested one hand on his back, and let the other run through his chocolate brown hair. You felt his tears soak through your shirt an onto your skin, but you let him stay against you. His breaths were short gasps in between his crying. "I-I don't know wh-what do d-do, (f/n)." He choked out. "S-So many p-people are c-counting on me a-and... I-I'm scared to l-let them down."

He pressed his forehead to your neck as you laid your chin atop his hair. Your could feel his eyelashes brushing against your collarbone. "(f-f/n)?" He asked.

"Yes?" You whispered, soothingly patting his back.

"H-How do you continue to d-do this?" He whispered back.

You stopped your patting and tilted your head slightly, looking down. His forehead was against your chest, and he stared down at your shirt. His green eyes were filled with hurt. "Do what?" You asked.

"How do you continue... to love a monster?" He whispered quietly. You stared down at him for a moment longer. He was serious. You cupped his face with your hands and raised it so he was at eye-level with you. Tears fell from his eyes to your fingertips.

"I don't love a monster." You whispered. "I love a man. A brave, strong man, who is human like the rest of us. A man who isn't afraid to show who he really is, not afraid to stand up to anyone. I'm in love with my best friend. I'm in love with you, Eren. That will never change, even if you are responsible for someone's death."

He stared at you for a moment. What was in his eyes now? Confusion? Relief? Still a few strands of pain? He sighed and gave you a sad smile. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours in a soft and gentle kiss. His hands gripped your hips as you stroked his cheeks with your thumbs. Once he pulled away, he rested his forehead on yours. "Thank you." He whispered.

You were silent for a moment. "For what?" You asked, slightly confused.

He smiled. "For loving me. For being alive, with me here. To pull me out of insanity." He whispered. He pecked your lips once more before pulling away. He used the back of his hand to wipe away his tears. "I'm sorry you had to see all that." He said, looking over to the shattered mirror behind him.

"We'll clean it up tomorrow." You said. You stood up with a sigh and began walking to the door.

Something grabbed your wrist. "No... Stay with me, please. I need you here..." Eren whispered from where he sat on the edge of his bed. You gave him a small smile, and leaned forward to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. He grinned and scooted to the front of the bed. You took off your cloak and jacket, putting them over a chair that was in the corner of the room. Eren was already in the bed, with the covers drawn up to his chin. You giggled at his childish looking form, and crawled in beside him. He smiled and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close so your head was rested against his bare chest. You heard his steady heartbeat and you smiled. What a lovely noise, a symbol of life.

It was a comfortable silence between you two. Eren was the first to speak. "(f/n)? Can you promise me something?" He whispered. You tilted your face up so you could see his green eyes. You hummed in response. "Will you always love this monster?" He asked.

You reached up and pressed your lips against his in a sweet, soft, and gentle kiss. "You're my monster. And I'll always love you, no matter what." You whispered. He smiled and kissed you again, this one a little longer. Once you pulled away, you rested your head against his chest. You fell asleep to the steady lullaby of his heart.

This was what it was like to love a monster.

But this monster was human, and it had feelings just as any other living thing did.

So you'd love this monster.

No matter what.