HOME | DD
GlaciesArdeat β Ghosts
by-sa
#echoes #ghosts #thoughts #voices #depression #suicidalthoughts
Published: 2018-04-05 05:37:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 719; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Ghosts lie and lie inside my brain,They echo, echo and drive me insane.
I can't find a way to shut them all out,
With their whispers of mistrust and doubt.
I can't sleep with all the silent sound
As thoughts just echo around and around.
Soon I won't be able to pretend.
Soon, I'll more than crave the end.
I'm sick of the migraine within my skull,
I'm sick of these thoughts I cannot cull,
I'm sick of the little voices inside my head
Dragging me down until I wish I was dead.
Growing desperate, fighting a war
Against myself til I can't take anymore.
Always battling the ghosts within
Until I join them in the realm of sin...
Related content
Comments: 27
Thank you very much
π: 0 β©: 0
A nice Piece, even if the rhythmdoesn't quite always work. The rhymes are nice, and I
like the dark theme to it. The repitition of "echo" also fits the mood nicely.
π: 0 β©: 1
I like the tight verse/rhyming feel to it. I do wonder if the second line of the second stanza would read with more force if "just" was taken out and around was written round. Compare: "As thoughts echo round and round." Rhythm-wise it might keep the flow with the other lines more.
π: 0 β©: 1
Thanks for the feedback, but I think it has better rhythm with the extra syllable (I originally did have it how you described)
π: 0 β©: 1
I like the rhythm in your original idea better. But my preference. "Just" is one of those words that gets used in conversation but can often take away from meaning by diluting it on paper.
π: 0 β©: 1
Yeah, that's true, but I often write how I speak to give it a more personal feel (although this isn't as bad as my old work, which ignored all rules of making decent poetry ahaha)
π: 0 β©: 1
I get that. I like engaging and talking out alternatives, because I think that's how our poetic vocabulary expands.
π: 0 β©: 1
π: 0 β©: 0
A feeling I know all too well... Even at my best, my brain always seems to find something to make me anxious about.Β
Once again, so well executed, and the rhyming scheme fits very well
π: 0 β©: 1
Yeah, just like most of my more successful work, it probably relates to a lot of people, whether they have anxiety, depression, or other mental disorders
Thanks
π: 0 β©: 0
I love that it ryhms and is so thought provoking I love it
π: 0 β©: 1
I love this so much. And, like a-nothing-girl, I really love the use of repetition. It's really effective.
π: 0 β©: 1
Thanks XD
Yeah, I'm proud of how that turned out,Β I actually did it by accident at first, but noticed how it looked, and spread the idea through the poem
π: 0 β©: 1
You're welcome.
Sometimes the best things are created by accident.
π: 0 β©: 1
Yeah, very true
π: 0 β©: 0
I love the repetition. It really adds to the idea of the echoing thoughts. Great work and I love it as always.
π: 0 β©: 1
Thanks, I actually did that by accident at first, but noticed it and spread the idea through the poem ahaha
Thanks
π: 0 β©: 1
Haha, cool. It really was a good idea.
π: 0 β©: 1
Thanks ahah
π: 0 β©: 1