HOME | DD
fernknits — 016. Excuses -- Garbage
Published: 2014-10-18 09:31:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 351; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Ask me to get anything done,and I'll pick you a reason I can't,
probably out of the garbage
I got from my parents.
He hit me, or yelled and yelled,
he drank or rubbed me the wrong way,
or raped me or didn't;
she told me I fucked her dry.
Excuses blow themselves
over the front lawns of my days,
gritty and undesirable.
I stab each one as I come to it.
This is how I get out of cleaning
toilets, going to church, breastfeeding,
buying groceries, volunteering at the shelter
or the soup kitchen, grooming myself.
Instead, I spend my days
and the brighter evenings working
my way across my lawn,
gathering excuses for tomorrow.
Related content
Comments: 11
This is fantastic! You have said it all so perfectly. Your phrasing is more abrupt here than usual, but it fits this well - helps to illustrate your point. I just love all the double-meanings in this too. Really, I love it. Love. It.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
There are things that I try to avoid that I know I shouldn't. It is a learning process, but eventually, you have to stand up for yourself and do something about it. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
An excuse is the mental toll one must pay to shrug off the responsibilities of physical labour.
Loving the darkness of this piece, and the allusion to it - the place where all excuses are borne.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you -- and thanks for taking the time to let me know, I appreciate it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you, sweet! Can I ask you a couple of questions?
1) Is the language/imagery too heavy? Should I tone down the violence/abuse parts?
2) Does there need to be something between the third and fourth stanzas showing what sorts of things are on the garbage (i.e.. ptsd, major depression, etc.) or is that fairly obvious? I don't want to overdo it but neither do I want to be obtuse.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
1) Nope, I don't think so. It's jarring, but I think it fits the poem for it to be that little bit jarring. It grabs the attention in a good way.
2) It was obvious to me. I'm not sure if that's because I know you so well, and know bits of your history, but I think it's probably pretty clear.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You are such a love. Thanks for your wonderful assistance -- it's so nice to have a friend who knows poetry, I can't even tell you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 0