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fernknits — 015. Seeking Solace -- Gingerbread
Published: 2014-10-17 09:03:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 229; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description She named the puppy Gingerbread, the toy
I bought when she was three.  I'd kind of thought
his name was Biscuit, but she'd always had
a sweet tooth.  Feeling extra happy, she
would toss him in the air, legs flailing free.
When she felt sad, she'd hold him by the ear,
and stroke it gently, and would breathe its scent
slowly and deeply, and be soothed.  Seven

years later, and she still has Gingerbread.
He's not soft anymore, but she recalls
the softness of his early days so well
she feels it still; he no longer smells fresh
at all, but she remembers when he did;
his scent is sweet to her.  He does still fly
exuberantly high, whenever she
remembers that she loves to fling him up.
 
I have a certain place within my heart
for sweetness that grows old and lives in dreams:
the little sticky fingers, muddy toes,
the clean ones -- naked toddler run amok --
I-love-you's, minty bedtime kisses, prayers,
the aching loss of turning out the light --
and there's a place within that place, in time,
for stinky, threadbare, precious Gingerbread.
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Comments: 6

nightshade-keyblade [2014-10-18 02:24:15 +0000 UTC]

I personally would put the word "Seven" at the beginning of the second stanza instead of the end of the first one all by itself:

When she felt sad, she'd hold him by the ear,
and stroke it gently, and would breathe its scent
slowly and deeply, and be soothed.  Seven

years later, and she still has Gingerbread.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fernknits In reply to nightshade-keyblade [2014-10-18 08:26:20 +0000 UTC]

Yeah... I'm on the fence about that one.  I did think of it.  I left it on the end of the first because of the iambic pentameter, and I can see that it belongs with the second, but I'm not sure how to resolve that.  Maybe a total rewording?  I'm not sure.  I'm glad you mentioned it though, because it's worth reconsidering.  Thanks, as always, for taking the time.  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nightshade-keyblade In reply to fernknits [2014-10-19 02:12:44 +0000 UTC]

Iambic pentameter? I didn't notice. 

No problem, hope it helps!

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chromeantennae [2014-10-17 19:24:55 +0000 UTC]

I like the third stanza. I honestly wouldn't change anything about it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fernknits In reply to chromeantennae [2014-10-17 20:07:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, as always.  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

chromeantennae In reply to fernknits [2014-10-17 20:10:39 +0000 UTC]

My pleasure.

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