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Description
This drawing isn't revolutionary in the sense that it is the first drawing in this manner, but it is the first digital one of this variety.

For the longest time my purpose for creating art was validation and to prove myself. Prove I was worth caring about, proof I was worth something anything. I worked tirelessly and never enjoyed my art or praise for more than mere moments before it was onto the next fix of fulfillment. In light of this year, something else happened. Something caught my eye that caused me to use that as a source of validation instead. Thus, I lost my ability to draw well at all, unless for rational reasons, or with a tense desire to force myself. But... for the first time I could hardly call myself a real artist.

Yet it was the same reason.

That's... not true anymore. God had to change me. But He was letting me have my moment, and waited until my heart was open to learn what my real identity is. Suddenly, I don't need validation from art or other sources anymore. I remember mumbling how worthless I was, and Him reminding me "Did you forget who you are? Did you forget you are my child?" that He didn't just send His son to die for me only because it was the only way to pay for my cruelty and making good things my false idols (like accomplishments for example) but.... wanted to do it for me. So that... really makes me realize that's my love, my identity, my value. And when the things I used to fear actually happened to pass, I found that He kept me fine. More than fine. Joyful really.

Now that my art is His.... I've never enjoyed art like this before. I don't have to have anxiety about making it perfectly perfect or if someone wants to critique it, dismiss it, or love it. Sure, I'll take what people want to offer, and don't see anything wrong with improving but..

....That's not my life anymore. And this drawing is always going to remind me that.

This piece also found inspiration in a photo. It's really pretty. reikiwitholivia.files.wordpres…
This is a location in what's currently chapter 2's script of the story. I also wanted to take the Dark Marauder's hood off because... why not? I don't draw him like that very much.

Description
This drawing isn't revolutionary in the sense that it is the first drawing in this manner, but it is the first digital one of this variety.

For the longest time my purpose for creating art was validation and to prove myself. Prove I was worth caring about, proof I was worth something anything. I worked tirelessly and never enjoyed my art or praise for more than mere moments before it was onto the next fix of fulfillment. In light of this year, something else happened. Something caught my eye that caused me to use that as a source of validation instead. Thus, I lost my ability to draw well at all, unless for rational reasons, or with a tense desire to force myself. But... for the first time I could hardly call myself a real artist.

Yet it was the same reason.

That's... not true anymore. God had to change me. But He was letting me have my moment, and waited until my heart was open to learn what my real identity is. Suddenly, I don't need validation from art or other sources anymore. I remember mumbling how worthless I was, and Him reminding me "Did you forget who you are? Did you forget you are my child?" that He didn't just send His son to die for me only because it was the only way to pay for my cruelty and making good things my false idols (like accomplishments for example) but.... wanted to do it for me. So that... really makes me realize that's my love, my identity, my value. And when the things I used to fear actually happened to pass, I found that He kept me fine. More than fine. Joyful really.

Now that my art is His.... I've never enjoyed art like this before. I don't have to have anxiety about making it perfectly perfect or if someone wants to critique it, dismiss it, or love it. Sure, I'll take what people want to offer, and don't see anything wrong with improving but..

....That's not my life anymore. And this drawing is always going to remind me that.

This piece also found inspiration in a photo. It's really pretty. reikiwitholivia.files.wordpres…
This is a location in what's currently chapter 2's script of the story. I also wanted to take the Dark Marauder's hood off because... why not? I don't draw him like that very much.