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ErzaStacojiu — Guilt
Published: 2008-11-20 22:29:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 71; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 1
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Description
She stands in the rain,I call her name,
Guilt clouding my mind.
She stands still, her hair plastered to her drenched face,
Not heeding my cries.
She’s angry! She’s tired!
She’s had enough…
She won’t look me in the eyes!
She’s not heeding my cries.
I’m sobbing, losing control…
Desperate!--but my feet won’t move
But hers are starting to.
No! Don't leave me here!!
Don’t let the guilt swallow me whole!
Forgive me! Please come pick me up--don’t just drop me so!
No…No…No—
Don’t…let me go!
She’s taking the steps, she’s walking away…
I can’t move; I’m drowning in this guilty pool.
My heart's frozen, shattered into a thousand pieces...
Pieces that I’m afraid I won’t ever find again…!
She walks away,
Not heeding my cries,
Leaving me behind.
No--It’s too late!
Why oh why did I hesitate?
With me, without me,
She’s saying—
Good bye.
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Comments: 7
wow this one is so strong. I couldn't take my eyes away from reading it
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thank you. you honor me. yes i admit, i worked hard on this piece. i edited, tinkered and edited a thousand times. lol. but thats good. thats exactly what i was trying to do. i was using punctiuation and format to emotionally try to connect with the reader. it connected with you, im happy to hear. 
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Aww you are so very welcome!
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huuuuggsss right bck at ya yuki-chi! <3
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I love the amount of drama in this poem, it's almost cinematic. It's not just straight up telling a story, it's putting emotion and tension into it.
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thank you!! thats what i was trying to do with the punctuation. to make it dramatic, and have tension.
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